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Original poster

To be annoyed at PIL for ruining DH's Christmas magic??

103 replies

PopandFizz · 25/12/2023 20:44

Hey,

Today in discussion around Santa etc, as we have an ASD, pre verbal 4 Yr old who is very developmentally delayed and has no concept of santa/Christmas etc, DH admitted he can't recall ever believing in Santa.

Now, he's always been skeptical and I already knew he was a bit of a scrooge etc it's a running joke that he's a big Christmas grump. He fins the cheesey side of Christmas cringey and dull - evem though we have a child! But today he said that it's hard to believe in Santa when he can clearly remember at 4 being able to see presents under the tree in advance of Christmas, from his parents, like literally seeing his mum put presents under the tree that were for him because at that age he could read his name and knew 'mum' 'dad' etc His parents would still go along with the santa 'tale' but made no credit to create magic.
And now he's told me this I feel so annoyed at them lol If you've seen the recent video going around about 'it'll be you in the mirror, your memories, your traditions your kids aim for at christmas with their kids' I'm like YES! No wonder he's the way he is.

Also to add - I'm not going to like fall out with them (although might make a passing dig after a wine tomorrow when I see them lol) just feel miffed!

OP posts:
Boomboom22 · 25/12/2023 20:46

But santa only brings stocking presents so of course mum and dad presents are under the tree? Would be very odd to have all presents from santa surely. Only small bits.

LordEmsworth · 25/12/2023 20:46

Santa isn't obligatory. HTH.

Pewpewbarneymcgrew · 25/12/2023 20:47

You’re being ridiculous

29andLost · 25/12/2023 20:48

Boomboom22 · 25/12/2023 20:46

But santa only brings stocking presents so of course mum and dad presents are under the tree? Would be very odd to have all presents from santa surely. Only small bits.

I don't do stockings so everything under the tree is from santa 🤷‍♀️

Meowandthen · 25/12/2023 20:48

Your husband is an adult. I am sure he doesn’t want nasty, drunken jibes from you to his parents at Christmas, or indeed at any time. If he has an issue it’s up to him to talk to them

You can choose to do things differently for your children and you can ask your husband to play along too.

RaininSummer · 25/12/2023 20:48

I don't really understand this either as I saw presents under the tree and also did this myself. Had nothing at all to do with Santa or father Christmas as we call him.

IhearyouClemFandango · 25/12/2023 20:48

Boomboom22 · 25/12/2023 20:46

But santa only brings stocking presents so of course mum and dad presents are under the tree? Would be very odd to have all presents from santa surely. Only small bits.

This is how we do ours. Our tree presents have been out for weeks

29andLost · 25/12/2023 20:49

But yes this just sounds batshit to me I'm afraid op.
Everyone does everything differently.
When I was growing up, I had 1 present from santa. I changed it with my children and everything is from santa. Your dp just sounds set in his ways

theduchessofspork · 25/12/2023 20:49

Boomboom22 · 25/12/2023 20:46

But santa only brings stocking presents so of course mum and dad presents are under the tree? Would be very odd to have all presents from santa surely. Only small bits.

This. Cos you have to write thank you notes to granny for you Lego set. Etc

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 25/12/2023 20:50

I'm trying not to be rude on a Christmas thread but that's the most pathetic thing I think I've ever read on here. With a disabled child is this really the worst thing you have to worry about? With kindness do you think you're maybe displaying your worries for your very disabled 4 year old on to a perfectly able and healthy adult man?

Meowandthen · 25/12/2023 20:50

Meowandthen · 25/12/2023 20:48

Your husband is an adult. I am sure he doesn’t want nasty, drunken jibes from you to his parents at Christmas, or indeed at any time. If he has an issue it’s up to him to talk to them

You can choose to do things differently for your children and you can ask your husband to play along too.

I’ll add that I am not a fan of the “everything is from Father Christmas” claim as that just teaches children that FC likes children from well off families, but not poorer ones.

ManateeFair · 25/12/2023 20:51

You are utterly insane.

FourFourOne · 25/12/2023 20:51

you’re mad at them for something that happened presumably decades ago, and not even to you? What exactly do you hope to achieve by bringing this up?

TheaBrandt · 25/12/2023 20:51

You sound insane.

TheaBrandt · 25/12/2023 20:52

Are you very pissed? That would explain it.

TypicalCoach · 25/12/2023 20:52

Have you been snorting cocaine?

SisterMichaelsHabit · 25/12/2023 20:52

Utterly bizarre thread. Put the wine down maybe?

Iamthatgenius · 25/12/2023 20:53

But santa only brings stocking presents so of course mum and dad presents are under the tree? Would be very odd to have all presents from santa surely. Only small bits

This isn't how we do it. Everything from DH&I is from Santa, and doesn't go under the tree. Under the tree is for the grown ups presents, and gifts from extended family, friends etc. I'd never heard the 'santa only does stocking presents' until a few years ago on MN

Anyway, to the OP - there are various things I 'hold against' my in-laws. They had him circumcised, they didn't teach him to ride a bike, etc. Just different choices and different priorities. I'll do things differently for my kids. Same goes for my parents who had a couple of mad ideas when I was a kid.

You can't change what's gone before, just what's to come.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 25/12/2023 20:53

TypicalCoach · 25/12/2023 20:52

Have you been snorting cocaine?

🤣🤣🤣
Oh is that what this convoluted nonsense is?

TheaBrandt · 25/12/2023 20:53

Father Christmas bought stocking presents our main presents from parents and relatives were all under the tree. Did you never write thank you letters then?

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 25/12/2023 20:55

Also ASD has a strong genetic link, so your husband's mum and dad not forcing him to believe in Santa 30 years ago wouldn't have made him "the way he is" (in your words) - more likely he has the ASD traits that your child now also has. His genetics made your husband the way he is, not any Santa/lack of Santa fairy tales.

reclaimmyboobs · 25/12/2023 20:55

Hang on, you’re annoyed at your PIL because your DH never believed in Father Christmas and they didn’t magically make him, but he’s an adult now and wouldn’t believe in it anyway, so…? How much brandy butter have you had?

WorriedMum231 · 25/12/2023 20:57

What’s pre verbal?

Echobelly · 25/12/2023 20:57

He can't miss what he never had several decades ago. No harm, no foul, not worth being upset about.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 25/12/2023 20:58

We always did that we got all the gifts and Santa just delivered them all. So kids knew it was from family, but the magic was them appearing overnight courtesy of Santa.

Everyone is different OP, I think you need to chill out.