Are you seeing much poverty and despair where you are at the minute?

[whereisitgoing]

I'm not sure if I can face doing my volunteering shift this weekend at a street soup kitchen (still have time to cancel) as not sure I can be tough enough and keep my mask in place. It is the first Christmas since my mum died and I'm crumbling.

Usually I love my volunteer shift, it's really brutal though to see the dire straits people are in. So much despair. The numbers needing help have exploded since covid and this winter are considerably higher again. At the moment I just don't think I can do it, everything seems quite bleak.

Sometimes people are at the end of their tether when they get to us and they are understandably and justifiably stressed and irritated - normally I can handle this without any bother, but not sure I can do it this weekend.

The kitchen will have loads of volunteers so it won't matter if I'm not there anyway. But it has me wondering, are you seeing more people needing help where you are this winter? Is there more palpable despair and anger out there, or am I just projecting my own shit year?

If you weren’t going through such a tough time yourself, then I’d point out that it’s a lot tougher to live it than it is to witness it, so gaffer tape that mask on if you have to, and make sure those people have the best experience possible.

But, losing your mum is going to be so difficult and volunteering might just be too much on top of your grief, so be kind to yourself and let yourself heal before you try and help everyone else who’s struggling 💐

If you weren’t going through such a tough time yourself, then I’d point out that it’s a lot tougher to live it than it is to witness it, so gaffer tape that mask on if you have to, and make sure those people have the best experience possible.

I am aware it is a lot tougher to live it.

It's more they deserve people who are competent, and who aren't an emotional mess.

Everything just seems really brutal out there in the world at the moment and I wondered if this is something other people have noticed, that things are getting tangibly worse in lots of ways. Or if it is perhaps my own grief and depression skewing my overall impression.

Yes, I've seen it. My job brings me into contact with people experiencing homelessness. This year has been brutal and we are seeing increasing street homelessness and associated issues which come with that.

I also see the burnout of staff who work there full time. Your wellbeing is paramount. Recognising when to step back is a strength and key to doing this work longer term. Be kind to yourself and give yourself that space without guilt

I think you are right, and your grief and depression are colouring everything you see. There has always been strife and poverty to focus on, and you are currently not keeping these things in perspective the way you normally would. But it is a really good sign that you recognise that

YANBU.

I work in the city centre twice a week and I have never seen so many homeless people as I do nowadays. It's beyond shocking. They're in every other doorway. What has happened to this country?

What you say completely resonates with me. I don't recognise society now compared to 15 years ago.

Bastard tories.

Condolences op

Yes. I live in a London suburb and it's everywhere. People begging outside our corner shop in a residential area. Local schools collecting coats and shower gel for pupils. Food bank is empty and pet shelters are full. Pets being found abandoned on street corners.

I hear about poverty/costs of living crisis I but don't see any of this you're all describing. All I see is people doing endless home renovations and brand new cars...and no I don't live in a particularly affluent or poor area....middle of the road suburban london

i think we all know what's happened to this country and why its happened.

I live in a very poor area (Tower Hamlets) so there's always massive poverty around and lots of homeless people. There are actually fewer around compared to immediately post Covid when it was particularly bad.

I actually haven’t seen any significant changes in my area. Went shopping in Central London at the start of the month and it was thronging. The busiest I’ve ever seen in with shoppers.

I’m the same, no real evidence of cost of living crisis. You can’t move for work vans - everyone seems to be having huge extensions or have ‘help’. There are cleaning company/gardening/dog grooming vans everywhere. 4 children in dd class will have been to Finnish Lapland this Christmas (on top of expensive summer holidays) and everyone seems to be doing expensive Christmas experiences. I’m in the NW, in a fairly well off area but not super rich (well some are, but not most). Lots of new fancy cars like Range Rovers etc too. If people are feeling the cost of living they’re not showing it.

I'm not seeing it in my neighbourhood so much, but people are good at hiding it. Few people would speak of it. That said, I am aware of a family up the road where everything looks good but there is a big struggle in all areas. I'm sure it's happening, it's just not so obvious everywhere.

If you aren't up to helping this year because of your personal situation, it's okay not to go. There will be plenty of helpers and you can step up again when you're ready.

I work front line in this. I am moving to the private sector. I know some would say stay and fight from within but I have given 20 years and selfishly I am burnt out and exhausted. I know people will tell you it is harder for those living it, which it is, but as we always say in our team we can only give what we can and we need to look after ourselves to be able to support people the best we can. So if you need to take a break for your own wellbeing do it and do not feel guilty you have been through a horrid year its ok to look after yourself.

I have seen honestly no evidence of any cost of living issues where we live (Hampshire). I went into town this morning and it was packed, people getting lunch at horrendously overpriced sushi/poki bowl type places, Costa and those ridiculous German market type stall where a bratwurst is a tenner and a go on a trampoline with a harness is £8!

There doesn't appear to be a COL crisis here. The shops are rammed full, trolleys overflowing, all catteries and dog daycares fully booked over Christmas into the New Year as people are going away. Hairdressers, nail bars etc all still extremely busy too.

Condolences OP, it's my 1st Xmas without my Mum as well and it is bloody hard. However to answer your question I work in a supermarket in a weird part of town that serves both a very affluent community and a supposedly very deprived community, but this week all I am seeing is trolleys piled high, with shops of £300 + which is much the same as most Xmas. I know our sales are higher than last year, so either our customers are spending more or they have moved over to us from other supermarkets. It definitely isn't reflecting a col crisis though

For the first time in my 51 years there is a Christmas Day 'Soup Kitchen' in our local Tesco car park. This is how bad things are, that the organisers had to ask for suggestions on where they could do it!

One of the things that we're really seeing in school is more and more families being made homeless because of rent increases or landlords selling. They they end up moving from hotel room to hotel room, often with nowhere to go at all during the day. No cooking facilities and families of 6 squished into a small room.It's just awful!

@whereisitgoing please give it a miss this year- others will step in - you need to look after yourself and take some time out to grieve and heal.
You can only give so much before you break. It sounds like you are very much at the sharp end of things and it is very taxing.
There is still money around in this country but you are seeing a disproportionate amount of people in dire straits. There will be many more people around you who are living comfortable lives and indeed people who have very comfortable lives.
Take care and sorry for your loss.

I've lived in the same place for most of my life. People sleeping rough was something I'd see in London but never really in my home city. Obviously there has always been homelessness but not of the stereotypical visible kind.

Now there's so much here, I've really noticed it this year. Town is full up of sleeping bags and tents.

It’s an awful awful time.

I would cancel this year, it’s going to deplete you and you probably won’t have so much energy to give.

Come back in 24

I live in one of the poorer areas of a city but there's no evident poverty or deprivation that I can see in my locality.

Lots of homeless in city centre of course but I've read in international newspapers that it's pretty much the same everywhere.