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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you seeing much poverty and despair where you are at the minute?

204 replies

whereisitgoing · 22/12/2023 21:26

I'm not sure if I can face doing my volunteering shift this weekend at a street soup kitchen (still have time to cancel) as not sure I can be tough enough and keep my mask in place. It is the first Christmas since my mum died and I'm crumbling.

Usually I love my volunteer shift, it's really brutal though to see the dire straits people are in. So much despair. The numbers needing help have exploded since covid and this winter are considerably higher again. At the moment I just don't think I can do it, everything seems quite bleak.

Sometimes people are at the end of their tether when they get to us and they are understandably and justifiably stressed and irritated - normally I can handle this without any bother, but not sure I can do it this weekend.

The kitchen will have loads of volunteers so it won't matter if I'm not there anyway. But it has me wondering, are you seeing more people needing help where you are this winter? Is there more palpable despair and anger out there, or am I just projecting my own shit year?

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 22/12/2023 22:54

i’m aware of the economic problems people are having because I try to pay attention to the news and to what people are saying online, but the reality is largely theoretical. My area has almost no economic diversity and hasn’t really been hit in the same way. Where we are struggling is to get workers for retail and hospitality work. No one who does those jobs can afford to live in the area and with increasing travel costs it is costing more to attract employees. Some businesses are reducing hours.

SareBear87 · 22/12/2023 22:54

I'm in a Hampshire city and it's definitely a tale of two halves. Those that have, really are having it. Those that don't are really struggling. There seems to be a clear divide.
The school that has everything has parents visiting in their Porsche/Bentleys. The school that doesn't (literally a 15 min walk away) is begging for donations from pens to coats.
It's also reflected in the shops opening. Trendy cafes next to charity shops. There's a clothes bank right next to a high end restaurant... it's a little at odds with itself.
A few local shops also now do secret/charity coffees/lunches that you can buy and they donate to those in need. No idea if they're trying to be trendy or if there's a genuine need.
We've all seen our bills increase so I'm not surprised that people are struggling

easylikeasundaymorn · 22/12/2023 22:54

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 22/12/2023 22:45

There are a lot of very obtuse posts on this thread tbh.

Just because restaurants are full and the people you know are going on holidays doesn't mean that there aren't also increasing numbers of homeless people. The homelessness stats make the scale of the problem very clear.

@StarDolphins said exactly what I was going to say.
The OP didn't ask 'are you aware homeless people exist?'
they asked 'are you seeing more people needing help where you are?'
So no idea how people are being 'obtuse' by answering the question put to them rather than the made up one you've decided they should be answering.

From the media the last 2 years you'd get the impression that everyone was suffering terribly from the COL so it's actually fairly illuminating to get first hand accounts from a variety of backgrounds spanning the whole country to see the difference, rather than a politicised, London-centric view.

Singleandproud · 22/12/2023 22:55

We don't go into our nearest town anymore after the last few times DD and I have been approached quite aggressively by homeless/drug users who then followed us shouting. Never used to be like that, most of the shops have shut now giving very little reason to go there anyway and I think those with cars stick to the retail park just outside of town - which obvious contributes to the shops closing in the first place.

When I was teaching last year we had lots of students that would take home the bagels from breakfast club for their younger siblings as they didn't have enough to eat. I WFH now so don't get to see that sort of thing as much.

Original poster
whereisitgoing · 22/12/2023 22:55

A lot of our clients work long hours while living in a shelter so wouldn't be seen on the street during the day. Homelessness can be so hidden.

OP posts:
SocksAndTheCity · 22/12/2023 22:57

I'm in Central London so there has always been a visible homelessness problem, but I can honestly say this is the worst I've ever seen it in almost sixteen years. There's a sense of total desperation as it increases day by day that I don't remember before.

I also volunteer with a charity that redistributes surplus food to local community projects (including 150 schools) and we have a waiting list now of over 700 that we can't support yet. It's mind boggling.

Original poster
whereisitgoing · 22/12/2023 22:58

I'm in a Hampshire city and it's definitely a tale of two halves. Those that have, really are having it. Those that don't are really struggling. There seems to be a clear divide.

This is very true too. My area is very wealthy in one way but there is such deprivation as well. We have homeless people on the street now too, a few years back this was not a thing in this area.

OP posts:
Original poster
whereisitgoing · 22/12/2023 22:59

SocksAndTheCity · 22/12/2023 22:57

I'm in Central London so there has always been a visible homelessness problem, but I can honestly say this is the worst I've ever seen it in almost sixteen years. There's a sense of total desperation as it increases day by day that I don't remember before.

I also volunteer with a charity that redistributes surplus food to local community projects (including 150 schools) and we have a waiting list now of over 700 that we can't support yet. It's mind boggling.

This is very similar to what I'm seeing. And feeling that sense of it rapidly keeps getting worse.

OP posts:
feellikeanalien · 22/12/2023 22:59

There's a lot of hidden poverty and despair aside from the obvious signs such as street homelessness. I was talking to one of the TAs at DDs school the other day and she was almost in tears because her landlord wanted to increase her rent so that it would take up almost 2/3 of her salary. She has two kids to support.

She does a fantastic job working with kids with SN but quite clearly society doesn't value her enough to pay her a living wage.

To quote Pink Floyd "Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way".

Rainallnight · 22/12/2023 23:00

gainsopho · 22/12/2023 22:50

I see homeless people daily as I live in a city centre area where they tend to congregate. I moved here last year so I don't know how much it has increased - the tents are certainly more visible. They aren't in despair when I see them but they are often sleeping or socialising with other people.

But there is a lot of affluence too. I'm in a bubble as my dcs go to private school and none of the families are struggling there. We go to lots of theatre shows over Christmas and they are all fully booked.

I’m sorry, but how on Earth can you look at people who live on the streets and say they’re not in despair? You make it sound like it’s a party.

Candycurrantbun · 22/12/2023 23:00

So because some of you live in ivory towers and shop in packed Waitrose shops you don't think there is poverty? And we don't all live in bloody London or the affluent home counties either.

Catslovenip · 22/12/2023 23:05

No obvious COL crisis in our commuter town. Restaurants are always fully booked even chains. We are in the minority in that we’ve not gone abroad this Christmas, most families have. We do however have far more homeless people in tents in our town centre and parks. There is a really obvious divide between the financially comfortable and the struggling.

malificent7 · 22/12/2023 23:05

Well the majority of this country voted for this shower of cunts and are happy to blame it on the boats . But yanbu op.

1offnamechange · 22/12/2023 23:06

Candycurrantbun · 22/12/2023 23:00

So because some of you live in ivory towers and shop in packed Waitrose shops you don't think there is poverty? And we don't all live in bloody London or the affluent home counties either.

please quote the posters who have said "I don't believe there is poverty anywhere" rather than a variation of "I don't see much poverty where I am" (which is the actual question OP asked?)

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 22/12/2023 23:06

Catslovenip · 22/12/2023 23:05

No obvious COL crisis in our commuter town. Restaurants are always fully booked even chains. We are in the minority in that we’ve not gone abroad this Christmas, most families have. We do however have far more homeless people in tents in our town centre and parks. There is a really obvious divide between the financially comfortable and the struggling.

"Most" families in your town have gone abroad for Xmas? Really?!?

Or just most of your social circle?

PropertyManager · 22/12/2023 23:06

Candycurrantbun · 22/12/2023 23:00

So because some of you live in ivory towers and shop in packed Waitrose shops you don't think there is poverty? And we don't all live in bloody London or the affluent home counties either.

Not denying there is, just not here, I'm out and about in town often very late with my work, sometimes working through the night - never seen a rough sleeper.

I suspect a previous poster hit the nail on the head, the councils in small home counties towns make it very uncomfortable to be homeless and therefore they are not here, instead likely I suspect just down the road in Southampton where there are probably services for them (soup kitchens, food banks, shelters etc)

The OPs question was whether we had noticed any signs of COL / deprivation, and the honest answer HERE is no, but clearly, its out there.

DragonMama3 · 22/12/2023 23:06

I donate my primary aged kids outgrown stuff to a local NW seaside resort - the poverty is shocking. The Head asks for ANYTHING - when my children outgrow shoes etc - I'd rather help a child in need.

ForgotTheBiscuits · 22/12/2023 23:08

@scoobydoo1971
Thank you for looking after this cat, I hope he earns his (considerable) keep with lots of purrs and cuddles. Good karma in the bank for you ❤️

Houseplanter · 22/12/2023 23:08

Average town near Birmingham. No evidence of COL crisis at all. Would be easy to think it was all made up tbh.

MidnightMeltdown · 22/12/2023 23:09

No, but I live in a suburb and don't go into the city centre regularly.

I think this is something that you mostly only experience if you work in a relevant field (teaching, housing, volunteering etc) or live in a major city or deprived area.

Original poster
whereisitgoing · 22/12/2023 23:13

MidnightMeltdown · 22/12/2023 23:09

No, but I live in a suburb and don't go into the city centre regularly.

I think this is something that you mostly only experience if you work in a relevant field (teaching, housing, volunteering etc) or live in a major city or deprived area.

I don't know, there are going to be children from families suffering from deprivation in many schools, going to school alongside the kids that are from families doing ok or doing great. Surely?

Obviously not at private schools though.

OP posts:
TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 22/12/2023 23:14

MidnightMeltdown · 22/12/2023 23:09

No, but I live in a suburb and don't go into the city centre regularly.

I think this is something that you mostly only experience if you work in a relevant field (teaching, housing, volunteering etc) or live in a major city or deprived area.

I don't fall into those groups, but I do work in a city.

The increase in poverty is visible to anyone who simply has their eyes open when they visit a major city. Surely plenty of MNers, with their "big jobs" and six figure salaries, must visit city centres occasionally?

raspberrybeeret · 22/12/2023 23:15

Factually, it's a poor time economically and the cost of living crisis is biting hard.
That said, I think you're projecting a bit and should stand down the volunteering this year in case you seem overly pitying.

raspberrybeeret · 22/12/2023 23:17

And if there are lots of volunteers and it won't make any difference (?) is there something else you could do that's a better use of your resources?

Bigcat25 · 22/12/2023 23:18

I'm in Canada and it's the same. Covid, mass numbers of immigration, foreign students, and "temp" foreign workers means our population has increased by around a million a year, and housing can't keep up.

My province hadn't built any new subsidized housing since the nineties (although recently announced a new project.) Developers are often highly taxed on their projects, and my city has a less than one percent vacancy rate.