That people (mostly men) underestimate my intelligence?

[Merryandbright1170]

Was at a work Christmas party. I work in education and got speaking to a male teacher who's also head of year. I'm new to the school and starting off as a teaching assistant. Hoping to progress and get a doctorate in education eventually. Previously I was training in a professional career eg. Lawyer, accountant, surveyor that kind of thing and did my exams. I wanted to switch career to something that was more fulfilling though.
In this conversation with this teacher I told him all this and my career path. He surprisingly said "oh wow you're actually quite intelligent" I laughed and said yes I guess so. I was a bit dumbfounded at him being so surprised.
This is not the first time, when I was younger and dated, men would seem put off that I was in a professional career. My mum said to me I think they don't like that fact you're smart. I also hate when you give an idea but they don't want to hear it but then a man will suggest the same and they get a massive pat on the back.

Why is it that men think you're dumb. I'm also a single parent so I have that stigma attached to me aswell. People seem to have this perception of me that I'm a bit dumb. I would say I'm average looking, slightly above (not a brag) too so don't know if that feeds into stereotypes.

Just sick of always being underestimated.

I’m still bemused as to what job the op did before this one with a psychology degree. Law, surveying and accountancy were mentioned at a professional level. So which is it?

Amen to that!
Software/infrastructure engineer here.
I'm also the youngest and only woman on my team. But because I dress well 'stupid until proven smart' seems to be people's motto. That, or people assume I'm a project manager/HR/<insert non-technical female dominated role here> and couldn't possibly know what I'm talking about.
Never mind the fact that I've worked on tech underpinning our core financial systems and am a major open source contributor.

External networking events are so difficult, people go to great lengths to 'test' me but will happily listen to 'career changers' fresh out of bootcamps who know nothing. Usually loud, confident men who know very little but can theorise, even if it's all nonsense.

Also @Benibidibici it's very easy to avoid making assumptions. Don't judge anybody based on what they look like. Wait for them to actually open their mouths.
It's that simple.

It was a professional one, i dont want to be too specific due to outing myself. I quit my job early pandemic and then went to university to get my degree in psychology as this had always interested me. Plus as I mentioned I wanted a job more fulfilling to help others.

‘More intelligent than you, mate,’ is the answer to that one.

I love that we are breaking people's stereotypes, although we shouldn't need to!
Yes thankfully I haven't had to network for quite a few years now since leaving my old career behind

I have the same problem.

The worst was when I had to do the whole corporate wife thing. I gave up in the end.

Doesn't help that I look younger than I am and achieved earlier. Not in a glamorous way, more a spotty way but I've learned to have fun with it. A few times I've listened to the mansplaining then requested their linked in profile so they can read my credentials at their leisure.

It definitely feeds the imposter syndrome.

Depends what you call “professional”. Many lawyers help others as do surveyors. So I guess it wasn’t these. Why is a job outing from 4 years ago? Who knows you on here? Unless you are Royalty!

External networking events are so difficult, people go to great lengths to 'test' me but will happily listen to 'career changers' fresh out of bootcamps who know nothing. Usually loud, confident men who know very little but can theorise, even if it's all nonsense.

I feel your pain! Except for me it's older male, career academics. They've never had a job outside of academia but will tell me they know more about my industry despite never having worked in it or even researched/taught my subject!

Try being in a wheelchair! People don’t even credit me with the intelligence to know which spaces my chair will or won’t fit into.

Ive had “did YOU actually GO to university?” from my own cousin who really ought to remember.

(I did- I have a masters and professional qualifications)

Sounds like he was joking...

Why is everyone so easily offended?

You must be a very unpleasant person. Or extremely bad at jokes if your idea of a 'joke' is to imply that you thought someone couldn't possibly be intelligent!

I didn't make the comment but iwouldn't be offended by it. I would just think it was a bit of a crass comment. Some folk are just crap at small talk

I used to think about this sort of patronisation when younger, now I don’t care, too busy getting done what needs to be done with eyes on the main goal.

And if anyone is foolish enough to do this, then I don’t mind using it to my advantage, such men never really figure out what just happened.

Pity them and go on about your fine work and studies.

Females outperform males at every stage of formal education ( just an fyi lol). Perhaps the comment was in relation to the role you currently do rather than the fact you’re female? TA’s don’t need much in the way of formal education. I’d be surprised if someone working in a shop told me they used to be a physicist. This would be irrespective of whether they were male or female. So it’s not necessarily a gender thing.

That's outrageous!

And if anyone is foolish enough to do this, then I don’t mind using it to my advantage, such men never really figure out what just happened.

I watched a documentary once about 2 Australian women who had owned a chain of brothels in Australia, got a bit of money to set themselves up and moved to England and became con artists. They did really well for a while in the upper echelons of society-

When they were interviewed for the documentary one of them said exactly this- that being a woman, and a ‘colonial’ woman at that made it really easy for her to con men out of a lot of money because they all presumed she was a bit thick and thought they were getting one over on her.

If they did eventually twig to what was going on 9 out of 10 times they didn’t cause a fuss because they were embarrassed to have been conned by a woman.

She said she never went looking for female marks because they were less taken in by the act.

I’m afraid I agree with this, OP.

You’re giving this WAY too much headspace. What’s that saying, ‘you would worry less about what people think of you if you realise how little they do’?

Also, I’m incredibly confused about the professional career you had before you went to university. Lawyers, accountants etc. typically have degrees before they get their professional qualifications. I assume it wasn’t a traditional profession?

It can be common but in my experience being underestimated has very much worked in my favour.

This is an indicator of the shit management of some schools.
Some schools build up everyone and encourage communication and friendship.
Poor management makes sure that everyone is pushed apart so that people are easier to control.

I also find it amusing that on a thread about stereotypes being wrong, posters (and the OP) are quite quick to stereotype men.

Yup

This happens to me all the time

It's like they expect me to like Mariah Carey or something

I honestly wouldn’t worry about what others think of you. It doesn’t t really matter does it?

A lot of people say things in conversation, they don’t necessarily mean, or have thought deeply into the words they use.

Don’t think so in depth about it. Just concentrate on your own goals or whatever

Emotional intelligence outweighs academic success.
I work in a supermarket, yet years previously l used to work in a Crown Court for many years, alongside top barristers and high ranking police.
I couldn't give a stuff what men think of my intelligence, l know my own worth and if you knew yours this wouldn't be an issue.

@Creational
I'm an EP and the work is very rewarding. II'm extremely privileged to do my job. I think you have a narrow view of what EP's do. I've worked in an LA with a LAC specialism, a hospital in a neuropsychology team and now in an NHS neurodevelopmental team completing ASD/ADHD assessments and interventions. I also work independently 1- 2 days per week. It's a flexible job and as we're so in demand roles are easy to come by. I insisted on working TTO. Working 4 days a week TTO I earn £70-80k.

Op go for the training. Being a TA is a common job pre doctorate and excellent experience, if you make the most of it and your employers give you opportunities for interventions etc.

People are often surprised when I tell them what I do. I have a northern accent and am very friendly. I am also quite 'glam'. I rarely tell people (unless asked specifically) that I have a teaching degree (Russell group uni), a masters from oxbridge and a doctorate from the most regarded university for EP training.

My professional career did not need a degree. But the exams equated to degree level by the end anyway.