Christmas ruined - what do I do?

[Mummytotwonow]

My 8yr old has hunted and found all the Christmas presents wrapped up for her and her brother. I have spent bloody weeks getting the presents, organising fun things to do, school admin, whilst juggling FT work and all the other mental load women have to do. This has just fking topped it off. What’s the bloody point. Do I just tell her there’s no father Xmas and ruin Xmas for her and her brother or do I re-wrap everything? I feel like fking walking away. I’ve had enough :(

If everyone just pauses and reads the mid section of ops post it might make sense...

She's overwhelmed right now and to work hard for your dc and then worry about the magic being gone isn't a nice feeling clearly and she's now said herself it was an overreaction. The last thing she needs is people taking the p* some need to remember to practise kindness and goodwill instead of trauma top trumps and belittling.

Tbf, if an 8 year old hasn’t twigged that Santa doesn’t bring the presents they must be a bit slow on the uptake. Your daughter has clearly twigged. We’ve never got around to wrapping presents till Christmas Eve, so no extra work if they sneak around. They’ll learn and get to the stage that it’s more fun not to know in advance.

Christmas isn't ruined. She's an excited child doing what excited children do. You're an exhausted mother who's worked hard to give your family the best Christmas you possibly can. Relax, the presents are there and wrapped, you've got loads of stuff sorted by the sounds of things, so spend some time just enjoying being with your children. It'll be fine.

It's not ruined. You are being a bit dramatic. Just wrap them in different paper or say the elves have same paper if you can't be arsed.

Christmas is more than just santa presents. It'll be fun!

😂

Why would you need to tell her there's no Father Xmas? (though if she's 8, she'll probably know in a year or two anyway, if she doesn't already). Father Xmas and his elves are efficient, and sometimes deliver the presents a a bit early! The very fact that she looked means that she knew that the presents might be here a bit early. It hasn't spoilt Christmas unless you let it.

You've made the right choice to wind it back a bit.

I looked at Christmas presents in advance at the same age. My mum went mad and it was awful and I still remember it like it was yesterday. Her going mad had no good effect whatsoever - it actually did a lot of damage. She was working FT too and was very busy and frazzled with a lot of stuff and it tipped her over the edge, but the blowout was extremely detrimental.

The best thing to do is completely ignore it. Just move the presents somewhere else and pretend it never happened. The kids will still be just as delighted on Christmas Day. I don't even remember what the presents were now, all I remember is her being so angry and carrying it on for a long time. Hardly the stuff of Christmas magic memories.

I’m our house we say that we send stuff to Santa, he keeps it until the ‘lists’ are out and if they’re on the nice list it all comes home.

Simples! And it protects against them finding wrapped presents

🙄

Why are people on here so sneery about all presents being from Santa? Maybe it’s more common in Scotland to do it this way but I don’t think I even realised some people did it other ways till I joined this site.

At school I don’t think the kids are saying ‘Santa brought me an orange and Mum and Dad got me a bike’. Certainly if anyone at school was doing Santa any differently to how my mum and dad were doing it, I didn’t notice. And anyway, why is it any better in the child’s eyes that it was their parents that got them less rather than Santa? Both would be disappointing.

Life isn’t fair. Christmas isn’t fair. People are selfish. People want their kids to have the magic of Santa bringing all the presents without really thinking about how in some houses Santa can’t afford to bring more than a couple of small gifts. Or it’s just how their parents did it and it didn’t occur to them to do it differently. We all just want our kids to have the best Christmas possible.

You sound fun! 😬

I don’t think she unwrapped them, just found them all wrapped up.
Unless I’m reading it wrong!

Just re wrap it'll be fine

If you can not one nee gift each ( from Santa )
Explain on Xmas day that she ruined the surprise by opening all
the Ones from you .
Domt te wrap buy a large present bag put them
all
in with her name on

It's really tough to juggle everything at this time of year especially when you also have birthdays to contend with ( I am only just done with the six close December birthdays I have). Other than My dd who's is also over the festive period.

She was not meaning to upset you.

Try and drop a few commitments where you can to enjoy the weekend.

If she’s 8 she probably already knows about Santa, she just isn’t admitting it. Don’t bother re-wrapping. The paper will be the confirmation she needs. It all has to end somehow, this way is as good as any, she still gets lovely presents.

Tell her the truth and make sure she doesn’t ruin it for her sibling, if that sibling is younger.

If she was hunting round for them, surely she has a clue about Santa?
You could always use this version of truth telling…
Such a sweet idea I saw on fb last week…

ATTENTION TO ALL PARENTS WHO NEED TO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA 🎅
Son: "Dad, I think I'm old enough now. Is there a Santa Claus?."
Dad: "Ok, I agree that your old enough. But before I tell you, I have a question for you. You see, the “truth” is a dangerous gift. Once you know something, you can't unknow it.
Once you know the truth about Santa Claus, you will never again understand and relate to him as you do now.
So my question is: Are you sure you want to know?"
Brief pause...
Son: "Yes, I want to know"
Dad: "Ok, I'll tell you: Yes there is a Santa Claus"
Son: "Really?"
Dad: Yes, really, but he's not an old man with a beard in a red suit. That's just what we tell kids. You see, kids are too young to understand the true nature of Santa Claus, so we explain it to them in a way that they can understand.
The truth about Santa Claus is that he's not a person at all; he's an idea.
Think of all those presents Santa gave you over the years.
I actually bought those myself.
I watched you open them.
And did it bother me that you didn't thank me?
Of course not!
In fact it gave me great pleasure.
You see, Santa Claus is THE IDEA OF GIVING FOR THE SAKE OF GIVING, without thought of thanks or acknowledgement.
When I saw that woman collapse on the subway last week and called for help, I knew that she'd never know that it was me that summoned the ambulance.
I was being Santa Claus when I did that."
Son: "Oh."
Dad: "So now that you know, you're part of it. You have to be Santa Claus too now. That means you can never tell a young kid the secret, and you have to help us select Santa presents for them, and most important, you have to look for opportunities to help people. Got it?"
Help each other this Christmas🎄🎅 and...be kind ❤

You've turned Christmas into a rod for your own back.

Women do not have to run ourselves ragged juggling work and an endless series of special outings and events for our children.

It's time to tell your daughter the truth about Santa Claus, and to swear her to silence.

Next year, don't exhaust yourself. Keep it low key.

I think a bit of perspective and some sleep is needed. Christmas isn’t ruined. She’s only 8 and there are some comments here that are seriously lacking in empathy for a child.

Also perhaps look at getting some support from others in your life if you’re feeling overwhelmed. I’m not clear what the relevance of including “I don’t ask for much” is, but it has a whiff of martyrdom. I grew up with a chronically stressed out mother and it made me dread any kind of holiday. I’m sure when she’s an adult, you’ll look back on this as a funny family story.

Your Christmas is not ruined! 8 years old seems to be when children start questioning Santa, it’s a shame you didn’t get one last Christmas of her believing but she was probably already questioning it. If you think she would tell her brother then I think you should tell her the truth to avoid this.

I stopped believing in Santa when I was around 8/9 but I didn’t tell my mum (or my siblings of course) I just went along with it. I remember I was around 12 and my mum telling my aunty that I still believed in Santa so she had no idea. Your son might not even believe in Santa anymore.

Also just because she doesn’t believe in Santa it won’t take away the excitement for Christmas / how magical it is. It’s still so exciting for children.

@HonoriaLucastaDelagardie

Families where all presents are from Santa, what about presents from Grandma, Aunties etc? Do the children think they come from Santa?

My parents said that all the presents to us (siblings and I) in our house were from Father Christmas (so the presents parents bought). Other presents were from other family members eg grandparents would write their names on the gift tag. We'd write thank you notes. Adults didn't get presents from Father Christmas so they bought each other presents.

Everyone I spoke to in primary school had the exact same set up. I'm in my 20s.

This is one of the reasons Santa only ever delivered one present off for each of my dc, it was never wrapped he just left them in front of the fireplace. As I told them Santa only had enough room in that sleigh for one gift per child to get round the whole world on Christmas Eve. All other wrapped gifts were for us and frends and family. I was lucky my next door neighbour always kept Santas gift in her house so I would get it after they had gone to sleep , it was always there big gift that he bought so quit a few bikes,scooters ,roller blades, and big Lego sets over the years.

OP is totally over-reacting. Old saying, "Life is what happens while you're making other plans." When the child is grown up, you will look back on this and hopefully laugh. Even better if you can laugh now, if you keep this up, the one ruining Christmas will be you, not your daughter. (BTW I told my children that just the xmas stockings were from Santa, they knew who their other presents were from.)

I think you’re being a bit dramatic. My sister and I used to hunt for Christmas presents ever year. It was part of the fun of Christmas. If we found any our parents just rolled their eyes. I think I found out that Santa didn’t exist at about 6 as my older sister told me. I don’t remember caring at all.