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AIBU?

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Original poster

Christmas ruined - what do I do?

390 replies

Mummytotwonow · 21/12/2023 21:58

My 8yr old has hunted and found all the Christmas presents wrapped up for her and her brother. I have spent bloody weeks getting the presents, organising fun things to do, school admin, whilst juggling FT work and all the other mental load women have to do. This has just fking topped it off. What’s the bloody point. Do I just tell her there’s no father Xmas and ruin Xmas for her and her brother or do I re-wrap everything? I feel like fking walking away. I’ve had enough :(

OP posts:
Iouis · 21/12/2023 23:36

Shes found WRAPPED presents that were obviously left somewhere easy to find. You're being a bit dramatic.

Circularargument · 21/12/2023 23:36

Charlingspont · 21/12/2023 22:02

Don't ruin it for her. She's 8 - she didn't know she was going to find Santa's presents - she probably just thought she might find yours.

Take a deep breath, and wrap again. When she's older, she'll figure it out and will love you for it. But if you ruin it for her out of anger, she won't forget.

Or she'll learn right now that Mum is an utter pushover and she gets to do what she likes with zero consequences.

Original poster
Mummytotwonow · 21/12/2023 23:36

Thank you for all your comments. I can see I’ve massively over reacted. I didn’t know any different until a couple of years ago that Santa only brings stocking presents and I had just copied what my parents did with me. It was then too late for me to change it. I would much rather get the credit.
Her brother is a year older, but still really believes.
After reading everyone’s posts, thank you for taking the time, I’m going to wake up in the morning and pretend it never happened. Hope that she doesn’t mention it and carryon as normal. Hopefully like others have said the excitement on the day might make her forget.

OP posts:
NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 21/12/2023 23:39

She won't mention it- she'll like joining in the pretend. Just like you do, and just like everyone else does.

All children find out, but they all pretend they haven't, in case the presents don't happen!

Circularargument · 21/12/2023 23:40

HonoriaLucastaDelagardie · 21/12/2023 23:09

I always did all presents front Santa. It didn't occur to me otherwise.

Families where all presents are from Santa, what about presents from Grandma, Aunties etc? Do the children think they come from Santa? Does that mean Grandma and Auntie never get a thank you from the children? And don't the children ever buy, or help to buy and wrap, presents from them to Grandma and Auntie?

One of the many reasons why lying to your kids is stupid as well as immoral. And a 9 year old still insisting they believe in Santa either hasn't been paying attention or is having you on.

ArabellaScott · 21/12/2023 23:41

OP honestly, I clicked this thread thinking something terrible had happened.

Thank god she just opened some presents.

Have a lovely christmas, all of you.

Iloveshoes123 · 21/12/2023 23:44

Mummytotwonow · 21/12/2023 21:58

My 8yr old has hunted and found all the Christmas presents wrapped up for her and her brother. I have spent bloody weeks getting the presents, organising fun things to do, school admin, whilst juggling FT work and all the other mental load women have to do. This has just fking topped it off. What’s the bloody point. Do I just tell her there’s no father Xmas and ruin Xmas for her and her brother or do I re-wrap everything? I feel like fking walking away. I’ve had enough :(

Say they were for friends at work/ people she doesn't know/to be donated (anything she will believe).
Get a couple of big Santa sacks, unwrap them and stick them all in there. Hopefully that will do the trick and saves you rewrapping everything.
It's a shame though, I would be gutted if I had wrapped mine and had to unwrap (not even started yet!).

determinedtomakethiswork · 21/12/2023 23:44

If she was looking for them, then, surely she doesn't believe in it anyway? So frustrating for you though.

parsely · 21/12/2023 23:44

The year my sister was knocked off her bicycle and ended on life support. That was Christmas ruined. She just saw the presents. Get your husband to re wrap them. You've already done it once.

And don't mention it all to her. She'll work it all out for herself. Every action has a consequence.

RedHelenB · 21/12/2023 23:47

Mummytotwonow · 21/12/2023 22:02

No, but one pile was all red colour for her and the other white all for my son. I’m so cross with her. I don’t ask for much. I know she’s a child but I like all other mothers give everything you have and this feel so bloody hurtful :(

Mine always went searching for presents, they've not ruined anything.

Didi93 · 21/12/2023 23:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SheSaidHummingbird · 21/12/2023 23:48

@SilkFloss Alright, tell her she fucked up Christmas and burn all the presents.

Ramalangadingdong · 21/12/2023 23:51

You’ll laugh about this one day. Try not to stress too much.

Onlinetherapist · 21/12/2023 23:52

I would say santa dropped them early as the elves made so many toys there wasn’t room for everything ….. but since they have been found and opened he is having them all back and he will see what he brings back.

Firefly2009 · 21/12/2023 23:52

Father Xmas came early
Re-wrap some and those can be from Father Xmas
Re-wrap everything
Tell them he isn't real

Something else creative

OrlandointheWilderness · 21/12/2023 23:52

Charlingspont · 21/12/2023 22:02

Don't ruin it for her. She's 8 - she didn't know she was going to find Santa's presents - she probably just thought she might find yours.

Take a deep breath, and wrap again. When she's older, she'll figure it out and will love you for it. But if you ruin it for her out of anger, she won't forget.

I'd probably do this. She's just a child, she didn't mean to do what she did.

Rollonfriday22 · 21/12/2023 23:53

Hurtful? That’s a bit dramatic OP! She’s not done it out of spite surely?

People are trying to be helpful but it’s not that easy to all of a sudden start giving presents from you and from Santa if it’s not how you usually do it.

If it was me I’d re-wrap I think.

headache · 21/12/2023 23:54

in our house Santa brings one present and a stocking the rest are from Mum and Dad.

This has reminded me of a story from about 4 years ago during covid that led to DS and his best friend falling out. It was during covid and we, as a family like many others, were having a rough year. DS had asked for a PS5 and that was the year they were in VERY short supply and it was very difficult to get one, he was 9 at the time still believing in Santa and he had said that he just knew Santa could get him one. Now we could have put him off about it but DH decided to buy him one and pay over the odds for it. DS was utterly delighted and went back into school and told everyone Santa had bought him a PS5 now his BF hadn’t got one and this must have caused hassle with his parents who told him DS was a show off and he wasn’t to play with DS anymore. Also this boy wanted a dog desperately and we have a lot of pets but the boys father is allergic and the parents had said pets are smelly and unhygienic and DS was also showing off about how many pets he had.

The thing was none of this was DS fault or choices, they were ours as his parents. I think the same thing about Santa really, I’ve already seen FB threads of piles and piles of presents under trees. Santa might bring lots of things or only a stocking. Santa has never brought clothing in our house because if you’re 5 years old opening clothing parcels would be ultra boring. But some DC only get clothes at Christmas. Everyone does Christmas slightly different.

Lovepeaceunderstanding · 21/12/2023 23:54

This happened to me when I was little (saw them in her wardrobe) but my mum didn’t wrap my Santa gifts so I could see them all. I had a conversation with her but she told me (she was a teacher) that they were all gifts for her class which I believed at the time. When I got my Santa sack and it’s contents were identical I knew.
In your situation I’d try to find some explanation. Good luck!

Nelly91 · 21/12/2023 23:54

WandaWonder · 21/12/2023 22:02

Annoying I get but ruined?, and what is the constant women martyr thing?

Nice @WandaWonder get a woman whilst she’s down!

Dillane · 21/12/2023 23:56

Mummytotwonow · 21/12/2023 22:02

No, but one pile was all red colour for her and the other white all for my son. I’m so cross with her. I don’t ask for much. I know she’s a child but I like all other mothers give everything you have and this feel so bloody hurtful :(

‘hurtful’? Give over, she’s a kid, get a grip OP it’s not a disaster.

BombaySamphire · 21/12/2023 23:57

Nelly91 · 21/12/2023 23:54

Nice @WandaWonder get a woman whilst she’s down!

Show quote history

Eh? Her dd found her (wrapped) presents. It’s hardly a major trauma.

Diaria · 22/12/2023 00:00

Just say Santa had covid or can’t eat all the mince pies in one night or is busy helping the homeless as they really need it or some other excuse as to why presents were dropped off early. And you hid them to help Santa out until Xmas.

Present the same presents on Xmas day, maybe throw in a surprise from Mum and Dad and hey presto you are done.

Pour yourself a drink, you’ve done great these things happen.

Undineimmor · 22/12/2023 00:02

Awe shes just excited. Pack them back up and put them under the tree

FucksSakeSusan · 22/12/2023 00:02

Mumsnet is wild.