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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Christmas ruined - what do I do?

390 replies

Mummytotwonow · 21/12/2023 21:58

My 8yr old has hunted and found all the Christmas presents wrapped up for her and her brother. I have spent bloody weeks getting the presents, organising fun things to do, school admin, whilst juggling FT work and all the other mental load women have to do. This has just fking topped it off. What’s the bloody point. Do I just tell her there’s no father Xmas and ruin Xmas for her and her brother or do I re-wrap everything? I feel like fking walking away. I’ve had enough :(

OP posts:

sprigatito · 21/12/2023 22:06

Dacadactyl · 21/12/2023 22:03

I'd make her wrap the presents for her brother by herself.

And I wouldn't rewrap hers.

Bloody hell, that's a bit much.

Dacadactyl · 21/12/2023 22:06

Charlingspont · 21/12/2023 22:05

Ah yes, how to ruin Christmas for everyone but the brother. Perfect.

Show quote history

Don't get what you mean by this?

AuntMarch · 21/12/2023 22:07

She can't have thought that she'd find presents from father christmas, as she wouldn't have thought they'd be in the house... are they the ones she found?

You seem to be taking it like some sort of personal attack on Christmas. It really isn't. She's just excited. I remember hunting for presents around that age. (I didn't open them though, I just liked trying to guess and the anticipation of finding out.)

What did she say/do when she found them? If it has convinced her the big man isn't real, so be it. Can you trust her to pretend for her brother and be part of the magic for him?

AuntMarch · 21/12/2023 22:08

beanontoast · 21/12/2023 22:06

Tell her those are the presents from you, and now she won’t get any extra presents from Santa because she’s done a bad deed

That seems unnecessarily mean.

Rawroink · 21/12/2023 22:08

Christmas isn’t ruined…she’s an excited child, I would be pissed off but not thinking that’s it it’s cancelled what’s the point

carry on as planned

IcedupTulip · 21/12/2023 22:08

Could you say Santa dropped them off early?

shewithnoname · 21/12/2023 22:08

If she went looking... she knows theres no Santa! if she's gone looking and found them and unwrapped them, you can bet your bottom dollar she's already told her brother theres no Santa... and once that cat is out of the bag theres no stuffing it back in!

accept that that bit of christmas magic is now gone.. just tidy up as best you can.. its 4 days to go and she can have her pressies... its her own fault there will be no surprises..

christmas isn't ruined...

Crooklodge · 21/12/2023 22:09

Any box or wrapped gift a child sees in this house in the run up to Christmas are told "oh that's uncle G's present" etc and that's that. No drama.

autienotnaughty · 21/12/2023 22:09

This is not deliberate it's just an accident. I'd tell her Santa gets one or two presents and parents get the rest. Don't make her feel bad and next year hide better!!

BobnLen · 21/12/2023 22:10

So she just found the presents, time to tell her about Santa then, though she probably already knows, I wouldn't wrap them all up again

SaturdayGiraffe · 21/12/2023 22:10

In other circumstances her curiosity and tenacity would be lauded. Perhaps she can make amends with some Christmas tasks that will help your workload? Christmas unwrapping clean up/recycling, or some (supervised) food prep.

Rainbowshit · 21/12/2023 22:10

Agree with PP. tell her Santa is struggling to cope with demand so dropped the presents off early.

mummabubs · 21/12/2023 22:11

I do feel for you OP. Have to say I'm not sure what I'd do in your position, but this 100% validates to me why in our house Father Christmas just brings small bits in a stocking and everything under the tree comes from us. (DH grew up with all presents coming from santa so he tried to push this as our way of doing it). So glad I stuck to my guns on that one. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Scampuss · 21/12/2023 22:11

Christmas is not ruined at all!

Just carry on as usual.

I went looking for and finding my presents every year as a child, trying to shake and sneak a peak, and work out what everything was, it just added more excitement to it all. I'm sure my mum knew, but she never said.

HiCandles · 21/12/2023 22:11

I'd leave all the wrapping as is, tell her the truth about Father Christmas and explain that this is a lesson that when you go looking for something you've got to be prepared for what you might find. And I'd be extremely clear that if she breathes a word of anything to her brother there'll be hell to pay.

Gnomegnomegnome · 21/12/2023 22:11

Hurtful?

She’s excited! Didn’t you look for presents as a child?

Carry on as normal, do the things that you have planned and if she questions the presents say that you helped Father Christmas wrap them because he’s really busy this year. I doubt she will question it because she will be too excited!

Original poster

Mummytotwonow · 21/12/2023 22:12

It’s always been all presents for Santa. Her birthday is on the NYE so I think she might have been hunting to see presents for that. I know it’s not the end of the world, but it just feel so crap. It’s knocked any excitement or Xmas spirit out of me.

OP posts:

ThePoshUns · 21/12/2023 22:13

Just carry on as normal. Don't say anything more. Do the normal Santa thing Xmas eve and either she believes or she doesn't. If she asks tell her if you don't believe he might not bring you anything.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 21/12/2023 22:13

I can't really see how it's ruined? It's still a surprise if she didn't open them.

You could maybe re wrap one or two to say they're from Santa but it's not a big deal.

HiCandles · 21/12/2023 22:14

mummabubs · 21/12/2023 22:11

Likewise with DH and I having different backgrounds. I was amazed when he told me how his family did it. I said did you never wonder why your parents didn't get you anything yet they got something for grandma etc? Or aunts and uncles not want to be thanked for getting you presents? Santa got ALL the credit?! Just weird IMO. Here we do like you, small bits in a stocking from Santa otherwise all presents are from the people they're actually from.

cestlavielife · 21/12/2023 22:14

But it isnt ruined at all
If she says something just say yes santa delivered them early .
If she is the older one and now knows you take her to side and tell her she needs to keep pretending for her brother . Now she is bug and grown up she has to keep the secret

"Ruined" is something different eg your house burned down....

Try to breathe

AdoraBell · 21/12/2023 22:14

I would play dumb and say maybe the elves left them in your house. Then put something like ribbons/bows when she’s in bed on Christmas Eve. Christmas morning “oh look, someone-elves/Santa has returned and put these ribbons on your presents”

JudyGemstone · 21/12/2023 22:16

Don’t spend any more money and time on this - put them in the stockings as is. If she catches on about Santa then so be it, she’s about the right age for finding out anyway.

my son woke in the early hours one Xmas morning and unwrapped all his Santa presents and went back to sleep, I was fuming! Couldn’t tell him off obviously though.

inappropriateraspberry · 21/12/2023 22:16

You tell her that those are gifts from you, and then Santa brings a stocking with small bits - hair stuff, fidget toy, other random crap!
This is how we do it - stocking from Santa, gifts under the tree from us and family/friends. Much easier.

cestlavielife · 21/12/2023 22:17

Get more anggry with your dp or dh for not supporting you.
Make that change next year
Dont blame a small child

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