Christmas ruined - what do I do?

[Mummytotwonow]

My 8yr old has hunted and found all the Christmas presents wrapped up for her and her brother. I have spent bloody weeks getting the presents, organising fun things to do, school admin, whilst juggling FT work and all the other mental load women have to do. This has just fking topped it off. What’s the bloody point. Do I just tell her there’s no father Xmas and ruin Xmas for her and her brother or do I re-wrap everything? I feel like fking walking away. I’ve had enough :(

Hurtful that an 8 year old went looking for presents? Seems a bit OTT OP.

Same! Also, at that age I knew full well Santa didnt exist but I pretended I still believed because I didnt want my parents to feel sad about it.

BTW, my children are all students, and Father Christmas still brings their presents. He still brings mine, too.

I have no idea why people are so po-faced about the whole Father Christmas thing. Most children know by the time they're about 7 that it's not true (and younger if they have older siblings), but playing along with it is all part of the fun.

It's perfectly normal behaviour. I used to do exactly the same thing at her age nearly 60 years ago. I was even worse because I would peel back a corner of the paper to see what was inside.
If my mum and dad ever noticed they were smart enough not to let on. Come Christmas Day I opened my presents , acted thrilled at the 'surprises' they contained and pretended I thought they were from Santa, just like my younger siblings and honour was satisfied all round. My memories of those Christmases are just as happy as the ones when I believed and the many more when none of us believed.

Your reaction to this is totally over the top. Take it easy on yourself. Leave this blip in the past. Put your feet up this evening, have a Bailey's and remember - Christmas doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

I always searched for presents. She’s hardly committed the crime of the century.

Do eight-year-olds really believe in Santa?

It's been a while since I had an eight-year-old but at that age, I am certain they can differentiate between make-believe and reality.

I didn't believe it at 8. I can remember pretending to believe because I had a genuine fear that my parents would stop buying me gifts if I ever admitted I knew it was a fairytale. They didn't buy each other gifts so in my mind Christmas gifts were for children who still believed.

I can't recall a time where I ever believed. I'm sure at some point I did but it was far enough back that I have no clear memory of it.

If the DD did not open the presents she will still be excited and looking forward to seeing what she got so I don't see how Christmas is ruined?

I was terrible for present hunting when I was a child - I still don't like suprises. I don't think it made Christmas any less exciting and special.
I am fairly certain that my Mum told me that people bought the presents and sent them to Santa and then he delivered them - which is why we got presents from Uncles and Aunties etc in our sack - to be fair this may have been because she knew I was a snooper!
Don't be too hard on your DD but definitely don't rewrap everything (who needs that extra work at this stage of the game) - she probably knows Santa is not real which is why she knows there are presents to find.

When I was a child all my presents were from Santa, and none were wrapped, they were just in a pillow case at the end of my bed! If you have a big Santa sack or stocking, just unwrap a few and put them in there and they can be the Santa presents, no need to rewrap them.

She is a naughty child. I wouldn't be pleased. Let her figure it out for herself. A stocking of small stuff from Father Christmas.

Oh yes, totally get Santa as the Courier! When my DC were little I told them that mum and dad sent the cash to Santa, they sent him the list, but Santa knew our budget 😂 so would choose what they were brought. The elves made the toys.

I ended up having to do this as I stupidly made all the gifts from Santa when DD1 was tiny. She realised that she had got presents that were from the whole family and then Santa, she asked if we had got her a gift! I realise that this makes her sound like a brat and she really wasn't/isn't but she was just confused.

When my husband was 7 ( now 61) he found his presents from his older brother hidden in a wardrobe. They were wrapped so he unwrapped them and , because he was 7, he glued part of the Airfix aeroplane model together and did some drawing with the Spirograph. Then he remembered that he shouldn't have found them and wrapped them back up ( very badly) and rehid them. His brother is 70 , my husband is 61. They still cry with laughter when the story is retold. Christmas isn't perfect. The ones you remember are the ones where something silly happened. The Christmasses of my childhood were free of the social media rubbish. I am so grateful for that.

IF she asks you if Santa exists, you can choose what to say, surely? And how long you want to prolong the faitytale.

I pestered my parents from about age 8 as I was becoming sceptical and eventually they told me the truth! (Although for years they had gone to a great extent to pretend he did- (soot on the hearth, nibbled carrots, mince pies and sherry all gone!)

I also hunted for presents but knew that Santa brought some, (in a stocking) and my parents brought some.

That's your answer- problem solved.

OR you could say that as Santa is SO busy this year, his elves had to deliver some early. :)

We also had the Santa as a courier. Mum and Dad buy the presents and put them in the magic (locked) cupboard where Santa's elves collect them, check they are working, and wrap them, and then Santa brings them all back in his sleigh on Christmas Eve.

When I questioned this I was told that we paid Santa for this service and he would use the money to make gifts for children whose parents couldn't afford to buy them things. If you were on the naughty list Santa would keep your presents and give them to poor children on the good list

The level of mental gymnastics my mother went through to explain why she was buying Christmas gifts from Argos was probably why I stopped believing so young. Both my parents worked full-time and my dad worked Saturdays so she had to take us Christmas shopping.

I Never say all presents are from santa, I always say santa brings stockings and we as family buy the big stuff as how would he fit all the big stuff in his sleigh and also wouldnt be fair if one person asked for a teddy and another asked for a car for example so he HAS to only do stockings of presents

Did your daughter open all the presents?

I always used to do this anyway, the stocking presents were from Santa and the ones under the tree were from me and other family and friends who bought gifts from my child. I think that it is round about 7 that children start to suss out that Santa isn't (whisper it low) real

I guess I would wrap them up again and tell her that Santa had asked op to look after them for him because he caught covid and had to drop the presents off early or something. Anything. Make up anything. It's all a bit of fun. It gets so stressful that we all forget that, don't we?

Still shocked at this from page 1, tbh. (And at the whole 'good list/naughty list' stuff).

Santa as a tool for punishment is just utterly horrible. The idea of equating 'Christmas' with this fragile and quite problematic 'belief' bothers me too.

We've always been very clear about Santa being a fun, make-believe game. My youngest is 8 and has decided to 'believe' this year. Fine, I'll play along as far as it goes. I love the power of her imagination. But she knows it isn't real. We find this approach lowers the stakes massively and makes Christmas less about the presents and the presents only.

If she went hunting, chances are she's worked out about father christmas, and wanted proof.
In my experience, most 8yo know the truth by then anyway.

I'd be shrugging this one off tbh. There's no need to be a martyr over it.

Don’t be ridiculous. Christmas is not ruined. Emotions are heightened at this time of year.

If she went hunting for presents it’s her lookout that she has ‘destroyed the magic’, but it’s still exciting to open a pile of presents so she’ll still have a good Christmas. And this way you can get the credit for all the lovely presents rather than giving it all to a made-up man in a red suit.

It's so exhausting being a mum at Christmas!

I would re-wrap them. It won't be long till she knows the truth about Santa, let her enjoy it till then.

She doesn't know how annoying it is for you that she found them! She didn't mean to add to the load.

I empathise though, I'm exhausted myself!

^This and I would do the note lol
If she’s actually unwrapped them that is very naughty.

All children hunt for presents though. Learn to be better op, hide them somewhere out of reach.

I found Mr Frosty once, my mum said “oooh that’s just the box so we can see what’s in it.” 🤣

Don’t be silly-surely she knows it’s make believe? Just tell her it was cheeky but not to make a big deal of it and that Santa is part of the fun. We label some presents from the cat with a big miaow and paw print on the label-not even the tiniest child really believes that our cat went Christmas shopping but they really don’t care-it’s part of the fun.

Like other posters, I’ve never understood this “presents from Santa” stuff. Father Christmas brings a stocking. Presents are from each other and teach us all a lot about giving and care and thought for each other.

Something a child of 8 is old enough to start to learn.