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Original poster

Christmas ruined - what do I do?

390 replies

Mummytotwonow · 21/12/2023 21:58

My 8yr old has hunted and found all the Christmas presents wrapped up for her and her brother. I have spent bloody weeks getting the presents, organising fun things to do, school admin, whilst juggling FT work and all the other mental load women have to do. This has just fking topped it off. What’s the bloody point. Do I just tell her there’s no father Xmas and ruin Xmas for her and her brother or do I re-wrap everything? I feel like fking walking away. I’ve had enough :(

OP posts:
Thedogscollar · 22/12/2023 07:28

Katbum · 21/12/2023 22:41

I would have been in so much trouble for this, and if it were my own DC, they would be getting majorly punished for this. At the very least several presents taken away and additional chores! Really bratty behaviour. Horrid.

If you are being at all serious then this post is very troubling and sad.

Gabriella83 · 22/12/2023 07:34

When our kids were little it was a struggle to juggle work and present buying without them noticing. Especially when you're exchanging presents with friends and family. We always used to say that santa can't bring them all. The ones we buy get put under the tree and if santa thinks you've been good he'll leave them there when he drops off the others.

RampantIvy · 22/12/2023 07:35

When DD was young I used to hide all her presents in the loft until Christmas Eve.

Palegreentoast · 22/12/2023 07:36

Verbena17 · 22/12/2023 01:39

If she was hunting round for them, surely she has a clue about Santa?
You could always use this version of truth telling…
Such a sweet idea I saw on fb last week…

ATTENTION TO ALL PARENTS WHO NEED TO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA 🎅
Son: "Dad, I think I'm old enough now. Is there a Santa Claus?."
Dad: "Ok, I agree that your old enough. But before I tell you, I have a question for you. You see, the “truth” is a dangerous gift. Once you know something, you can't unknow it.
Once you know the truth about Santa Claus, you will never again understand and relate to him as you do now.
So my question is: Are you sure you want to know?"
Brief pause...
Son: "Yes, I want to know"
Dad: "Ok, I'll tell you: Yes there is a Santa Claus"
Son: "Really?"
Dad: Yes, really, but he's not an old man with a beard in a red suit. That's just what we tell kids. You see, kids are too young to understand the true nature of Santa Claus, so we explain it to them in a way that they can understand.
The truth about Santa Claus is that he's not a person at all; he's an idea.
Think of all those presents Santa gave you over the years.
I actually bought those myself.
I watched you open them.
And did it bother me that you didn't thank me?
Of course not!
In fact it gave me great pleasure.
You see, Santa Claus is THE IDEA OF GIVING FOR THE SAKE OF GIVING, without thought of thanks or acknowledgement.
When I saw that woman collapse on the subway last week and called for help, I knew that she'd never know that it was me that summoned the ambulance.
I was being Santa Claus when I did that."
Son: "Oh."
Dad: "So now that you know, you're part of it. You have to be Santa Claus too now. That means you can never tell a young kid the secret, and you have to help us select Santa presents for them, and most important, you have to look for opportunities to help people. Got it?"
Help each other this Christmas🎄🎅 and...be kind ❤

This is lovely.

grumpycow1 · 22/12/2023 07:37

I have spent bloody weeks getting the presents, organising fun things to do, school admin, whilst juggling FT work and all the other mental load women have to do.

where’s your partner in all this? no wonder you feel burnt out and over reacted :(

Sunnydays1974 · 22/12/2023 07:44

I think you're over reacting a bit here...like other posters have said she is an excited 8 year old child. Did she go looking for the presents or stumble across them? And did she open them?

You're the parent here so don't ruin the Christmas magic for her and just re-wrap them and go back go enjoying the Christmas build up with her. No ham done

BingoMarieHeeler · 22/12/2023 07:46

I’m looking at all our presents under the tree right now, 3 children sat right next to the tree 😵‍💫 ‘Santa’ pressies are wrapped and hidden but only v small things, or unwrapped to go inside stocking.

Wafflesandcrepes · 22/12/2023 07:46

It really isn’t the end of the world and is part of a child’s developmental process. You should be happy and proud to have a clever and inquisitive little girl. You don’t need to tell her anything. If she tells you that’s she’s seen presents around the house, just feign ignorance.

hookiewookie29 · 22/12/2023 07:55

Chill. Nothing you can do about it now.Just give them to her as you were going to on Christmas day. All this advice on here about unwrapping them, rewrapping them, sending them back and replacing with others.....who the hell has the time and energy for that 3 days before Christmas?? She doesn't know what's in them, and if she questions whether Santa is real, then deal with it. If she doesn't, then don't even mention him.

sashh · 22/12/2023 07:58

Did she unwrap them?

If not tell her one of santa's elves was visiting to see if there was enough room for all the presents.

Santa can't just bring random presents.

They were not actual presents but empty boxes. They have gone back to Santa now to be filled.

Winterknights · 22/12/2023 08:00

Just wanted to say when I was a kid I knew where my Mum kept the presents and would sneak in to look at them every year ( my mum never knew!) That was a part of my Christmas ‘magic’ and ritual.

It never ruined Christmas for me. I was just as excited on Christmas Day. And loved all the presents just as much.

It’ll be fine.

Have a brilliant Christmas! : )

Winterknights · 22/12/2023 08:02

Ps the presents I saw were unwrapped too, so I knew exactly what I was getting. And still loved Christmas just as much.

commonsense61 · 22/12/2023 08:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Howbizzare22 · 22/12/2023 08:06

Christmas is not ruined- she’s excited! Just say some are from mummy some from Santa. Keep it positive OP this is not the end of the world- could be far far far worse! Just laugh it off- a story to tell when they’re older! Stop stressing about it- it’s not a big deal. Be kind to yourself, relax and have a great Christmas xxx

Wellhellooooodear · 22/12/2023 08:09

I think if she was hunting for presents she probably doesn't believe in Santa. Just put them out as normal and say nothing, if she mentions the wrapping paper just say what a coincidence that you and santa have the same wrapping paper. She'll be so excited by the presents I doubt she'll even say anything.

TroysMammy · 22/12/2023 08:10

She needs to be a bit more savvy in future. I did the same but was a bit older. A dressmaking pin to score the sellotape, careful opening, a quick peep and a bit of sellotape to cover over the original sellotape. No ripping of paper at all. Mother will never know.

My Mother had stopped buying at that point and I knew what was inside before I opened my presents on Christmas Day. It didn't ruin my Christmas as the excitement was still there.

I'm 55 now and my Mother still doesn't know what I did.

CaroleSinger · 22/12/2023 08:11

So you're still lying to her about father Christmas to satisfy your own magical fantasies, but your cross with her? She's 8. At what age were you thinking of telling her there's no father Christmas, 30? Clearly she's not buying the stories if she specifically went hunting to find presents. Why do parents put themselves through this charade? What do they actually get from filling kids heads with this old tosh?, I just don't get it. What's so dreadful about just being honest from the start about who bought them presents at Christmas?

Scottymom · 22/12/2023 08:12

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

StopStartStop · 22/12/2023 08:16

OP, I mean this kindly - stop being such a baby.

Presents don't have to be secret. Children can be expected to seek them out - I did, sixty years ago, and children haven't changed much.

Nothing about Christmas is 'ruined' - except possibly the unreasonable expectations you've created for yourself and possibly for others.

Take some deep breaths. Have a luxury coffee. If you were mean to your child, apologise.

Then carry on, and have a wonderful Christmas. You are a great mum, you do so much. Cut yourself some slack, and remember 'honesty is the best policy', and that includes Christmas.

Wellhellooooodear · 22/12/2023 08:18

Katbum · 21/12/2023 22:41

I would have been in so much trouble for this, and if it were my own DC, they would be getting majorly punished for this. At the very least several presents taken away and additional chores! Really bratty behaviour. Horrid.

This is a really sad post and a stark reminder how a shitty childhood can fuck you up as an adult.

IVbumble · 22/12/2023 08:19

I did this when I was about your DD's age but my mum didn't find out about it & and I never did it again because Christmas Day was nowhere near as exciting as it usually was.

Please let go of the idea that Christmas is ruined & embrace the idea that DD has undertaken a massive learning experience.

runningpram · 22/12/2023 08:22

This thread is making me feel terribly disorganised- i haven’t wrapped any presents yet or spent hours on Christmassy labours! I have however, for the first time ever, made a Christmas cake, which I’m very impressed by!

Pluviophile1 · 22/12/2023 08:23

Mummytotwonow · 21/12/2023 22:02

No, but one pile was all red colour for her and the other white all for my son. I’m so cross with her. I don’t ask for much. I know she’s a child but I like all other mothers give everything you have and this feel so bloody hurtful :(

It's annoying, yes but there wasn't any malice behind it, she was excited. Christmas isn't 'ruined'. As PP have said, maybe rewrap a couple and say they are from Santa.

Morechocmorechoc · 22/12/2023 08:23

I'd do a letter from father christmas which says he had to deliver them early as one of his reindeers is injured, so he is doing them over a few days to the parents to look after. I'd also say he expects children not to hunt for their presents and they aren't do to it ever again or will get coal.

NonPlayerCharacter · 22/12/2023 08:24

Wellhellooooodear · 22/12/2023 08:18

This is a really sad post and a stark reminder how a shitty childhood can fuck you up as an adult.

Show quote history

Agreed. The point of kids' Christmas presents isn't to exert control and sustain your own self image. Kids get super excited about presents and can't control themselves; that's not "bratty" and it isn't all about the adult.