To ask about your good men?

[Imonanotherdiet]

I know this will sound a bit 'men are trash'. Of course there are many good ones, I'm just losing faith.
I'd love to meet some that aren't primarily thinking about getting laid, that aren't scared of commitment and being 'tied down', that don't leave their dirty underpants all over the floor.
Ones who don't have those too close for comfort 'friends' that they clearly fancy, who are honest, kind, and contribute fairly.
I'm not bothered about a 6-pack, 6ft3 and 6 figure salary at all, just someone with the above who's decent and wants commitment.
Would be great to hear your positive stories!

I have one of these men. Some might consider him 'boring' because he isn't charismatic nor a conversationalist but he's good and solid, and he does his share. He loves his family and he's there for us in the ways that really matter.

The women I know that choose men that seem more flashy on the surface often end up complaining once the novelty of their big personalities wear off. They felt that 'spark' they had been chasing at the beginning of their relationship but it often flickers out when the lazy fucker can't even put his washing in a bloody basket!

He sounds great, good for you !

How old are you?
There are numerous good men in my family.
They're all pretty boring. We're ignored by many women when they were in their late teens, early twenties but when they did meet the right women they married and became excellent husbands and fathers.

They get little or no attention from other women. Men like that go under the radar. There are probably many, many men like that but they are invisible to large numbers of women so many women feel there 'are no good men'.

I am 32! It's a shame to hear they were largely ignored. I feel like a lot of people buy into the whole 'too nice' thing still. Often they're mistaking being nice for being too passive and lacking in opinion.

My husband is a really good man, he's reliable, does more housework than me, doesn't need a list or to be asked, kind, adores me.

I'd say most of the men I know are like this- including DH, our fathers, brothers, nephews and son. Most of my friends are married or with good men as well. There are definitely a few not so good ones around but on the whole they're good!

I have one of those. He's been there for me through good times and bad for the past 35 years since we got together. Right now I'm going through a bit of a tough time and he's being such a support. He holds me when I need a hug, brings me cups of tea, listens when I need to talk... he's my rock. He's always done his fair share at home and he's a brilliant dad. He's amazing and I am very lucky.

You've described mine to a T.

I think many will been feel under pressure to have a relationship, to not be an 'old maid', as if that red reflected badly on them. Certainly I was on the reverting end of a lot of unwanted pity. I'm very happy that I was so fussy.

I too have one of these men now, but it has taken some commitment on both our parts
We've been together 19 years and married 17. I already had a DC when we met.
In the early days he worked full time and I worked PT till the kids started primary. I automatically picked up all the home stuff as well, which I didn't mind.
When the final kid started primary 10 years ago we swapped roles , I went f/t in a role that had bizarre hours and he became 'mum'. He's far better than me at the whole parenting thing
Fast forward to now... I have changed career but he still supports me 100%. He cooks, cleans, does the laundry and takes me anywhere I need to go

But most importantly, he loves me for me. He doesn't give a shit that I've now got diabetes, have to take blood thinners, am peri, and the hair that isn't falling out is grey.... in return I don't give a flying fuck he's gained a little bit of weight, and snores like a mother fucker
They are out there OP... I promise

My husband is one of these men. When I met him I knew this was it for me. He's reliable, caring, affectionate, does his fair share of housework, house admin and kid stuff.
He's a great dad to our children, and extremely thoughtful about what I might need too.
On top of all that he's gorgeous, hilarious and successful in his chosen career as well!
Does he get on my tits sometimes? Of course, he does and I'm sure I piss him off as well.
But I wouldn't be without him for a second.

Interestingly, he was also a bit of a late bloomer - didn't have his first girlfriend until he was 19.

I've been married for 21 years and with my husband for 23 years. He does all the cooking, washing and ironing. He never loses his temper. Is always kind and has been a great dad. He's very affectionate and always makes time to cuddle and kiss. We've had spells of virtually no sex and he's never hassled me - he was aware of things that hapenned in my previous marriage and was careful not to make me ever feel pressured.

He is my second husband and someone that a lot of women overlooked because he was average looking and too 'nice'. He's actually aged really well and now people probably wonder what he sees in me!! The only criticism I would have is that he's not great with emotions and sometimes that drives me nuts. But I am an emotional person so he's often the calm against my hormonal madness!!

Didn't find mine until I was 46 - will be 15 years next year. Adores me, does everything with 'us' in mind and can turn his hand to anything, except get dirty plates from sink to dishwasher 😂

I dont think there are any tbh the expectations of a person dont work. Some good attributes can also be rubbish, i dont think there will ever be a perfect balance..think it ends up more being how two people can compliment eachother and make up for which part each other lacks.

Ie. I am awful at social interaction, shy and a people pleaser..my DH is extrovert and assertive. I do the professional polite bits of initial convo he then takes over to do the more lighthearted fun part, also calls people out when they are rude which i can never do.

But the bad part is people think that is me being a weak doormat others i am charming, polite and in some circumstances he is taken as being arrogant.for an example how good personality points can go sour depending on context and perspective.

I know some men are diabolical, like the abusers, child abandoning type. But the perfect chap isnt possible...if they seem like it initially they are more likely to be scamming you to trap you later on 😅

I have one. For one thing, he totally looked after me when I was ill.

I made the mistake of praising him for it on here and I got loads of nasty remarks such as, 'why is your bar so low,' and 'what 's so special about that, it's what he should be doing,' etc.

He is tidy, he cooks, he loves his children and grandchildren, he is basically a kind man.

I have one. He's the only boyfriend I had who I was friends with first. There was that foundation and it grew from there when we realised there was more.

When I was first introduced to him, my first thought was, "He looks kind" and indeed, he is. We've been together for 19 years, married 13.

My husband is a great man. He’s the kindest person I’ve ever met, his thoughtfulness frequently strikes me. He does far more than his share of the housework, all of the cooking, goes out of his way for me and my family, respects me, we have interesting conversations, he supports my choices, when we have disagreements we talk them out and have never gone to bed angry at each other.

I’ve been at work today while he’s already ended for Christmas and he’s done all my packing for me as I’ve been feeling ill (we go away tomorrow).

I feel endlessly lucky to have him.

I have one!

There was a lot of frog kissing before we got together in my mid thirties and I knew him through work for a year or so before.

He went under the radar for a while as he is quiet and unassuming. Even after the first official date I wasn't sure if he was my type but it became clear within a short while that he was the person that I'd been missing all along. He's absolutely solid as a rock and loves me for who I am. He's got good strong family values and sees us very much as a team. He pulls his weight at home and I am not scared of growing old with him as I know he would look after me if something dreadful happened.

The upside of all of this is that DH has improved with age in terms of confidence and looks. He's got a really good job and is well liked by colleagues.

What changed before I met him? Well, I got clear on what I wanted from a partner and made a conscious decision to hold out for that person. I decided that I would stay single if that person didn't come along and just get on/enjoy life on my terms. I also became much more observant of potential suitors and went out on lots of dates with men I wouldn't have previously considered. I also considered what other people thought about them and how they treated other people. DH is probably a better catch than I am if I am completely honest.

I have one. Almost 35 years in. Many would think him a bit of a serious and boring fart though. DD has a similar one. My dil however has one who is more rakish.

I met one online. Shocker!

He is great. I wish I’d met him 25 years ago (we’re a lot older than you).

He’s kind, thoughtful, caring, funny, sexy and sweet. He’s reliable and dependable. He’s a good dad and brilliant with my kids. I love the very bones of him. For the first time ever I feel safe, secure and totally loved.

I used to pick arseholes, and was worried this guy would be boring. I’ve finally realised he’s definitely not boring, he is just solid.

Consider if he will look after you if you become ill and demented because that's important. If you read lots of threads on here you'll realise that lots of men treat women like domestic appliances. God forbid if that appliance breaks!

Maybe try this Facebook group www.ladbible.com/lifestyle/woman-boyfriend-facebook-dating-dull-547942-20231216 definitely is appealing to me!

(And to be clear, I don't think 'lovely man' equals 'dull', I think the word is used in the sense of 'not a bad boy')

My DH is one of the good ones. We have been together 20 years, together we have raised 2 DC (our eldest is from my first marriage but he has never treated her anything other than his own), he does more cooking than me, nothing I ever too much trouble. He doesn’t always do thing proactively but he never grumbles if something is pointed out. He would literally do anything for me and our family unit.

My DH is one of the good ones so much so that my DM his MIL has said he has made her a better person. He is quiet though and introverted so I think when dating he would have been seen as boring. I wasn't sure about him after on early dates but he is a great husband and father. And our DS is showing exactly the same emotional intelligence his father has.

I have one.

We were older when we met, he had stayed at home and looked after his elderly mum instead of leaving home etc. He hasn't been married before, he is my number 3 😳.

He does all of the washing, a good part of the cleaning but if left to him to do the cooking we would live on things on toast and meat. We play to our strengths!

I became paralysed at the beginning of the year and he did everything for me , all the bum wiping etc. And did with love, care and the right amount of humour. He always considers'how will this affect ColinRobinson' when he needs to make a decision.

i have two adult kids who were in their teens when we met. he takes the job of step dad seriously and they usually approach him first if they need help as I can be a bit 'emotional'.

He is the grandpa of the hipsters - slim, long hair and beard. He is oblivious to any interest from women ( he is popular with women of a certain age!)
He is a boring old fart - even though he is a biker, he says he is getting too old to piss about. We now have a caravan as we can't get on and off an airbed in a tent.

He tells me everyday he loves me and I am the best thing that ever happened to him.

Please don’t give up hope. I spent my teens and twenties in a string of relationships with men who juat weren’t good enough but I kept given chances to because they said they loved me and would change etc.

fast forward to now at the age of 34 and I am engaged to be married next year to an amazing man I met on tinder of all places. The one thing that was new with him was he followed through with everything he said to me and his actions matched his words which I had never experienced before as in the past I’d be promised something and was just waiting to be let down.

please don’t give up hope, life can literally change over night. I found that after really working on myself and getting to a place of loving myself and having great self worth, a man who matched the level of respect and love I had for myself came along.