To ask about your good men?

[Imonanotherdiet]

I know this will sound a bit 'men are trash'. Of course there are many good ones, I'm just losing faith.
I'd love to meet some that aren't primarily thinking about getting laid, that aren't scared of commitment and being 'tied down', that don't leave their dirty underpants all over the floor.
Ones who don't have those too close for comfort 'friends' that they clearly fancy, who are honest, kind, and contribute fairly.
I'm not bothered about a 6-pack, 6ft3 and 6 figure salary at all, just someone with the above who's decent and wants commitment.
Would be great to hear your positive stories!

I have a good man. We've been together since we were 19/20 and married 29 years this year.

Of course we've had our issues over all that time but it was mainly when the kids were tinies and we were freaking out about bedtimes. Yes bedtime was hard and working out about cleaning the house and cooking tea. We got a mother's help when the kids were small and so the cleaning was taken care of (we're still in contact with the wonderful Isobel!)

My uncles. Humorous, family men, the lot.
My dad, not so much. Charismatic, funny, easily bored.
Dh, for all his flaws, is a good one. But I know I have many flaws too.
Ambitious, hard working, does his share of the physical load at home if not the emotional.
Always been great with my friends and family. Share my values. Personable, although went through a bout of middle aged depression which turned him into a miserable fucker until he got medicated.
V good at the practical side of being a father. Could do better at the emotional.
Looks after me, if I want him to. Accepting when I need my space.

I have one. Been together since uni, married 26 years. He's just a decent solid man, who treats people with respect and kindness. He does his share of housework, I do more because I work less but he'll still acknowledge and say thank you for things he notices I've done. He's a great Dad, we both did bath times and read stories at bedtime. Now older the children will go to him for advice and a chat as much as me. We've always had a joint bank account and although he's a vastly higher earner he's never implied that I'm less entitled to spend it. As PP's have said he may seem boring to others, he's not the light of the party but he's bloody amazing. He's also not boring, has many interests and talks about world events etc, he's just quiet in big groups.

I wonder if our husbands think they've got good ones or if they're bitching about us on Dadsnet

The key is to not waste any time on the shit ones. Time spent on arseholes is time not spent founding the right guy. Be ruthless and picky.

My guy is great, helpful, patient, equal partner in all respects. I love him and respect him so much. He's not perfect but they're small annoyances not big things at all (and he is VERY patient with me hahaa).

My DH is this man.

He's wonderful. He looks after me, looks after our relationship, would do anything for his family. He's intelligent, kind, generous, thoughtful, makes me laugh every day, tidy, does his share, earns a decent salary through hard work, and I really don't know what I'd do without him. He's a calming, grounding force in my life.

He's so civilised, doesn't go on nights out other than pub trips with pals but is home by 11 🥰😆

When I read women on here who are so down about men, it makes me sad that they don't have and haven't experienced what I have.

He wouldn't be the typical man the typical woman would go for, not so much in looks but he's quite quiet and shy in a normal social setting.

I have one but he'd tell you himself that he could be a bit of an arse when he was younger (before I met him). Like me, life experience has provided him with a perspective that made him a much nicer human being.

Most people are basically decent but many are capable of being selfish or thoughtless in a long term relationship when complacency sets in. Women are no exception but differences in female and male socialisation mean we see it more in men. There are so many out there who'd never steal from anyone, never hit anyone, will help old ladies across the street etc but morph into the type that leave their wet towels on the floor once comfortable in a relationship or start getting grumpy about a lack of sex even though they'd never dream of forcing their partners. Male socialisation has a lot to answer for!

I say this as someone who had a lovely dad and grandad, have lovely male relatives still living, great male friends and a wonderful husband. So yes, I believe there are good men out there and plenty of them. Unfortunately, I also believe the number of good men who are single are dwarfed by the arseholes who are single for a very good reason. You can find them but you need a good screening strategy or a fair amount of luck!

My DH is a good one. Not perfect but right for me. He lived on his own for several years before we started 'walking out'. I'd been brought into my brothers group of friends to get me out the house, he was one of the friends. Took a while to get together, we'd been out together on our own a couple of times before someone asked if we were courting. Hadn't even occurred to us, we were friends.

He helped me change careers. He does the cooking, the washing and ironing. I do the dusting and hoovering and lots of the other tasks. When we had children he did a lot if the childcare as I had s job that took me away a lot.

When I was seriously ill he cared for me. We have our grumps but nothing serious, can't even think of a serious row. As far as I'm concerned he may be a bit boring to many but he's fine for me. (Married to a nerd who loves sci-fi, trains, old plains, steam engines, piers and seaside towns)

Every person on the planet has good and bad things about them, even women as hard as it seems to believe on here.

My husband is great but has his annoyances same as me but it has been working for 25 years, I am not a martyr if it wasn't working I would not be with him.

I guess I think people will treat you the way you accept, sure it's easy to say person A should not treat person b badly but if they accept it it will continue

Then they have children and the children learn by their parents what is acceptable and not and the cycle continues

I've been with my good man DH for 20+ years. When I met him he was a really good son and brother to his younger siblings (but not a mommas boy!) Early on his friend told me what a great family man my (then bf) was and was singing his praises. Its proved true because he's a great husband and I couldn't have wished for a better dad for our kids.

I thankfully have one of those men you are describing. After years on and off dating apps and thinking I would either be alone forever or end up with settling for someone I found my soulmate. He pulls his weight around the house, brings me flowers, insisted on sharing finances even though he earns much more than me. He also makes sure that I’m his priority, makes me laugh like no other and I fancy the pants off him. Hang I there, I honestly thought that what I have would always be out of my reach but great men do exist.

My brother in law is one - my sister would def tell me if I’d got it totally wrong! Together for 48 years now, from 16 year olds. Kind, patient, caring, useful(!), hardworking, totally immersed in family life with children and grandchildren, reliable, interested in his extended family and so on.
I had false starts but found mine in my mid 40’s so 20 years together.

Mine is absolutely one of the best. Ten years and he’s never shown me a hint of temper, grumpiness, rudeness or disinterest. He is the warmest, kindest, gentlest, most loving man. He would do anything for me and our son. He’s the most involved dad and a completely equal parent. He’s clever and funny and hard working and thoughtful. He has never let me down and I can’t imagine a world where he ever would.

Same ^^

DH isn't what I thought I'd go for - we met as teens and he was 5ft5 and stick thin and very baby faced. He is a football mad guy and very simple tastes. Not what I thought was my type at all. I remember being told to give him a chance and went on a 'date' and my god he made me laugh. I was a bit emo and morose and no one was ever really able to make me laugh.

Still together 13 years later, married, DC. We've had ups and downs but still no one can make me laugh like he does and he has had a 'glow up'. He grew loads one summer when we were 17 and got facial hair and a bit of weight on him, settled into his face and is generally considered cheeky/ handsome looking. The sex is also fabulous, not to lower the tone but my god...
He does his share of housework and is supportive of me and my family, very much a big part of it. He is an amazing and patient dad. He is doing much more than I am at the moment (house/child) due to me being back in education. V.Decent career and wage. He's still got simple tastes. He's great but many would dismiss because he wouldn't plan a fancy date or dress well.

I still hate football though!

I have one. He’s brilliant. We share the load - not in a “make a list” way - in a we both see what needs doing and do it way. He’s kind, a great dad, considerate, wants the best for all our family. He supports me, tells me he’s proud of me, and generally acts like an all round excellent human being.

Dh isn’t 6’3” but otherwise fits the bill.

I'm 5 months into dating a good one - after a very abusive relationship I took myself out for a couple of years to heal and he's the first one I've been serious with.
I'm constantly on the hunt for red flags but none are appearing - he has his flaws (as we all do) but no red flags.
He's absolutely gorgeous and is the male version of me personality wise.

My good egg was an OLD find. He was in the navy when we first met, our first date was 2 days after we started talking, the day after he went back to the Caribbean for 3 months. Not long after, he handed in his notice because he wanted a civvy lifestyle for starting a family. Worked his year notice then we bought a flat together just after our first anniversary. 2 years later we have my DS (previous relationship) and our DD and are looking forward to buying a house! When the market allows 😬

He's shorter than me, he's stubborn and headstrong, he's the tidy one and I am the complete opposite, he can't do laundry for shit but he'll clean the kitchen and the bathroom. There is so much give and take. Everything is easy. We've had maybe 3 arguments in 3.5 years and most importantly he makes me feel like I'm home. I can't ask for any more than that 🥰 except popping the question but house comes first because weddings are Hella expensive

He's not 'mine', but I do know a particularly lovely man who works with animals in a specific area and he treats them with such understanding and kindness it's amazing.
I'm also very good friends with a male colleague who is the most gentle person you could ever meet.
There are good ones out there, I just haven't found one for me yet.

My DH is a good man. Kind, thoughtful, funny and steadfast. My father was too and so is my brother.

Sounds like my dh. Took me 40 years to find him but we've been married 7 years, together for 10 and barely had a cross word. But when we do, he's still respectful, never swears or shouts at me. Equally he also makes me belly laugh and there's no one I'd rather spend my time with.

My husband is absolutely phenomenal, i would probably admit i want to pop him in the bin sometimes but how he is with our daughter his work ethics his kindness his warm general being everything about him i adore.

Don't tell him i said that though ;-)

Interestingly, both my dad and my brother are these good men types. Both super lovely, amazing hands on fathers, devoted to their families, equal share in housework etc.

and yet I always end up with rubbish, emotionally unavailable, cheating men! I thought the theory was that women end up with someone with the same character as their fathers. So I don’t know what’s going wrong here! 🤣🤦‍♀️

My husband is amazing. We've been married 3 years, second time round for both of us. He adores me, does his fair share around the house, constantly has my back, is kind and loving to my son and family. He makes me laugh all the time, feel loved and safe and I constantly pinch myself I've met him.

He feels the same about me 🥰

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