Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like I want to go home, even though I'm already at home?

108 replies

WantToGoHomee · 21/12/2023 12:22

I'm in my 20s still living with parents, with all of my siblings and my family dog. I'm at home, the same home that I've lived in my entire life. Yet I find myself saying to myself 'I want to go home' even when I'm sitting at home. Does anyone else experience this? There's this sad, mournful longing for 'home', but I'm already at home?

OP posts:
brickastley · 21/12/2023 14:12

@Baffledandalarmed

I lived with my parents until I was 28. Most of my friends (early 30s) did as well. So I don't think you can say it's not normal or 'more normal' at 22 than 28.... And OPs post wasn't asking for judgement/questions over why she still lives at home and (quite frankly) it's got nothing to do with her post.

Ok first of all calm down!

I said I wasn't being judgmental and I meant it, if OP is feeling like they want to go home it absolutely Could be indicative of having 'outgrown' home.

I wasn't saying it's wrong, I suppose normal was the wrong word but it's definitely more common to still live at home in your early 20s than your late 20s - i didn't say, that it was wrong. OP was wonder about her feeling re home, I just suggested, as I did others, it could be because she doesn't have her own

Benibidibici · 21/12/2023 14:14

Its probably the feeling of wanting your own home and your parents house no longer feeling like it. I remember being about 24 and going "home" to my parents house for christmas and realising my rented flat with my boyfriend (now DH) felt like home now.

Benibidibici · 21/12/2023 14:15

Btw that's not a judgement on anyone living with parents. More a reflection, for much of human history women in particular would have been forming their own households and having kids by their twenties.

Gnomegnomegnome · 21/12/2023 14:17

I used to feel this a lot as a child. For me I think that it was anxiety and wanting to be safe.
I wanted comfort, security and a sense of belonging. None of which I had growing up.

Ahwhatthehell · 21/12/2023 14:54

I think you’re maybe missing being cared for and comforted the same way you were as a child. You’re possibly yearning to feel that again?

Knackeredhamster · 21/12/2023 15:08

I very much get what you mean op.

Does anyone else ever get that feeling when they see a place they don't know at all.

Sometimes I do, it can be in a photo or seeing a house that looks if not hugely cosy just somehow welcoming.

I sometimes get this huge feeling of safety if I see a house with lights on and imagine how enclosed or peaceful it must be in there.

It's sort of a grounding feeling mixed with being outside myself momentarily.

X

notanothernana · 21/12/2023 15:42

I want to go home when I am stressed and overwhelmed. It's that I want to be little and looked after again, someone to parent me and make it all better. Unfortunately that's my job now.

rockinginarockingchair · 21/12/2023 15:44

Greedybilly · 21/12/2023 13:41

I often feel like I'm home in certain places - often by the sea or , weirdly, in a grave yard.

im very at peace in a grave yard love the the places old and new.

Sirian · 21/12/2023 16:08

The Portuguese call it “saudade”. It’s a melancholic longing for another time or place or person, a feeling of homesickness. I get it a lot. I want to go back to my childhood home - but I can never go back, because not only is it not the same, I’m not the same person.

Picklewicklepickle · 21/12/2023 16:19

My 3 year old says this sometimes when she gets upset, even when we are at home, I think it’s a comfort thing.

KimberleyClark · 21/12/2023 16:25

Roseyposeypie · 21/12/2023 12:33

I often have this feeling too. The Welsh actually have a word for it - hiraeth - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiraeth

Hiraeth is usually a longing for something specific though - a person you have lost, a place you used to live, a time in your past. I am not sure you can have non specific hiraeth.

Original poster
WantToGoHomee · 21/12/2023 18:03

I don't think that it's related to wanting my own home, it's not even really about the house itself, just a feeling. I remember thinking and saying the same thing as a child.

OP posts:
Terfenheimerama · 21/12/2023 18:15

Some people say death is like going home for the holidays.

WingsofRain · 21/12/2023 18:17

I’m nearly 60 and I’ve felt like this all my life. I hope that one day I’ll eventually feel at home somewhere.

Goatymum · 21/12/2023 18:17

My DD says this when I’ll/v stressed. Was more when she was younger, but says she feels it still sometimes.

flowerchild2000 · 21/12/2023 18:23

Yes, but for me being a long time single mother, it's longing for the days it wasn't my responsibility to provide stability. It's also the need to return to a place where I can relax and be creative and spend most of my time reading. I'm actively changing my life around so I can focus on my creativity. If my inner child is languishing my outer adult person will too. For you it could be wanting your own home, or a longing for something from childhood. There's nothing wrong with responding to your inner child. Figure out what it is you want from that 'home' and get it for yourself :)

Mummyratbag · 21/12/2023 18:34

We recently went on holiday and as a last minute decision, went to somewhere we had never really thought about before. It was very different to anywhere I'd been and we have travelled a fair bit. I find myself checking the weather there now and webcams and feel a strange longing. I think it's down to having had a stressful year and the holiday was a good break/distraction.

itsastrangetime · 21/12/2023 18:48

The theologian C.S Lewis (author of the Narnia books) once said 'If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.'

Maybe it's something spiritual you're craving, OP?

MissyB1 · 21/12/2023 18:57

WingsofRain · 21/12/2023 18:17

I’m nearly 60 and I’ve felt like this all my life. I hope that one day I’ll eventually feel at home somewhere.

Yes I’m 55 and it’s always been the same for me. I’ve often wondered if it was to do with my birth, I was an unwanted pregnancy and my mum had PND, there were definitely attachment issues.

Cheeseplantalltheway · 21/12/2023 19:51

I experienced this throughout my childhood. Was usually when I didn't feel loved.

crazycatladie · 21/12/2023 20:01

I feel like this if I'm stressed, I think it's when I wish I was a child living at home with no responsibilities.

Margaritasandmojitos · 21/12/2023 20:24

I feel like this too sometimes. I want my husband back. I want my parents back. I want someone to hold me and comfort me and say everything will be ok. I want to go home.

Sugarfish · 21/12/2023 20:25

I think this sometimes if I’m feeling a bit tired and anxious. I think it’s more of a longing to want to go back to a time when you were looked after, like back to your childhood, a sort of comfort thing.

givemethetea · 21/12/2023 20:27

I used to feel this a child, then when I got in to my twenties and still felt it I realised what I was actually feeling was anxiety

Whatsmynameagainhuh · 21/12/2023 20:31

Yes!! I get this feeling a few times a year - a sudden feeling of homesickness even though I'm already at home.

I sometimes wonder if the home I want to be at is my childhood home (which I visit 2-3 times a week anyway) or if its just a feeling of unease.

But I'm glad some people feel the same!

Swipe left for the next trending thread