Page 4 | To feel like I want to go home, even though I'm already at home?

Bigcoatweather · 21/12/2023 20:45

I sometimes feel this, but I think it’s more a yearning to go home to the life I wish I’d created, if that makes sense - it might not as it’s hard to describe.
Not that I have any big regrets, just I would have perhaps loved to have lived in a different time or in a different way. A simpler life.

HamBone · 21/12/2023 21:05

Given how young you are, @WantToGoHomee , could it be an indication that you want to make some changes in your life? You still have your original family/home and you’re not old enough for regrets like we older ones!

Perhaps have a think about what you’d like to do next year.

Tandora · 21/12/2023 21:07

Oh my gosh my toddler says this sometimes and it confuses / upsets me so much as I don’t understand it. What does it mean?

Butchyrestingface · 21/12/2023 21:09

Roseyposeypie · 21/12/2023 12:33

I often have this feeling too. The Welsh actually have a word for it - hiraeth - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiraeth

I was going to say this but someone beat me to it. 😂

Tandora · 21/12/2023 21:09

Picklewicklepickle · 21/12/2023 16:19

My 3 year old says this sometimes when she gets upset, even when we are at home, I think it’s a comfort thing.

Mine too. I’m so glad I’m not the only one! 🥺.

This thread has been so enlightening

ssd · 21/12/2023 21:18

I feel this way too

passiveaggressivenonsense · 21/12/2023 21:19

Ive felt this but it's a feeling if homesickness for a life beyond this life, that I knew before I was born and that I'll return to after I die. I'm not religious and don't necessarily believe in an afterlife, but I've always had this sense of wanting to return to my true home in another life.

MuchTooTired · 21/12/2023 21:23

I do this. Generally when I’m overwhelmed and/or in a state of great emotional upset, I just repeat ‘I want to go home’ to myself, even if I’m at home. For me, it’s a wish to return to a place of calm and happiness, where I feel loved and secure and nothing can get me. The person I yearn for is my auntie, but she’s died so I can never go back there.

It’s a weird feeling.

Coffeeebean · 21/12/2023 21:26

Gosh this has taken me back. I had this exact feeling when i was suffering with anxiety and depression. I was also 20's and living at home at the time. I remember laying in my childhood bed sobbing that i want to go home, even though that was the only home id ever known

There is a word for it...i forget what is it

I am late 20s and live away from home now. My mental health is vastly improved and i never feel that way anymore.

Perhaps a chat with the GP is needed?

Please do DM me if you want to chat or rant etc.

Picklewicklepickle · 21/12/2023 21:29

Mummyratbag · 21/12/2023 18:34

We recently went on holiday and as a last minute decision, went to somewhere we had never really thought about before. It was very different to anywhere I'd been and we have travelled a fair bit. I find myself checking the weather there now and webcams and feel a strange longing. I think it's down to having had a stressful year and the holiday was a good break/distraction.

This is interesting, I feel like this about a place we went on holiday a few years ago. I was going through some rough stuff but we had such a lovely time as a family that I long to go back and nearly cried recently when I realised we probably can’t go next year

I also feel like this about the area we had all our childhood holidays, even though I haven’t been back as an adult, there’s just something special and comforting about it.

Mummyratbag · 21/12/2023 21:32

@Picklewicklepickle interesting it was a similar situation! I hope you get back there one day.

Dmsandfloatydress · 21/12/2023 21:36

I used to feel the same but it was a deep longing for Southern Africa. I had never been but I met someone from South Africa when I was 19 and its like a light bulb went off and I had this deep homesickness for Southern Africa. When i finally managed to get there I experienced a deep sense of home coming, peace and familiarity. I literally danced with joy and smelled the earth. I have since returned many times and it's my happy place. This experience has convinced me of past lives as its so very strange as I have no prior connection to the place at all in this life.

ireallycantthinkofaname · 21/12/2023 21:47

NRFT but yeah.
I've always had it as a feeling though, right from being tiny (think 3-4).
SImilar situation to you now though - 22 with parents and animals - feel like a lodger who pays her way by cooking and cleaning. Not a child living in 'the family home'.

HellsBells67 · 24/12/2023 19:18

I used to get that feeling often as a child/teenager, called it my 'drink of water' feeling as though it was similar to thirst but wasn't quenched by drinking. I very occasionally get it still and it's usually a feeling of missing the past in some undefined way. Or maybe a longing for God or the spiritual home? No idea. It unsettles me for sure.

cestlavielife · 24/12/2023 19:19

Move out and make your own home

Ohnobiowwkw · 24/12/2023 19:33

I've felt like this my entire life, in every house I've lived in, even as a child. None have ever been "home"

WishingOnAStar86 · 24/12/2023 19:58

Dissociation..

Dissociation is a mental process of disconnecting from one's thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity. The dissociative disorders that need professional treatment include dissociative amnesia, depersonalisation disorder and dissociative identity disorder.

I had severe antenatal depression with my first and suddenly my home didn't feel like my home anymore. My bedroom felt foreign. I didn't belong there and do desperately wanted to feel "home" again.. I remember looking up the feeling and yeah, dissociation..

Left · 24/12/2023 19:59

I’ve often felt like this - I didn’t realise it was so common. Thanks OP - this is been strangely comforting to know I’m not alone in this.

Sometimes I go to a place that feels so “homely” and welcoming that it makes me wonder how my parents managed to make my childhood homes so cold and unwelcoming. In contrast I actually feel “at home” in my current house - it needs to go on the market but I’m struggling with letting go of it and losing that “at home” feeling.

Kazzybingbong · 24/12/2023 22:59

WantToGoHomee · 21/12/2023 12:22

I'm in my 20s still living with parents, with all of my siblings and my family dog. I'm at home, the same home that I've lived in my entire life. Yet I find myself saying to myself 'I want to go home' even when I'm sitting at home. Does anyone else experience this? There's this sad, mournful longing for 'home', but I'm already at home?

I have had this feeling since I was a child. IMO, it's nothing to do with wanting your own house- I have one and still get it.

I am aware it's extremely common in autistic people and is linked to anxiety. I'm not diagnosed, but I could very well be autistic.

I just want to go home and be mothered. It was worse when I was pregnant and for some reason, assembly in school used to trigger it all the time, both as a child and when I was a teacher. I find it really unsettling.

TickTickTock · 25/12/2023 07:58

WantToGoHomee · 21/12/2023 18:03

I don't think that it's related to wanting my own home, it's not even really about the house itself, just a feeling. I remember thinking and saying the same thing as a child.

I resonate with this. I felt (and sometimes now feel) a longing for home, but I think it's more about wanting to feel safe and cared for. Could it be about your relationships and/or the pressures of adulthood?

Grumblevision · 25/12/2023 09:45

A thing for sure. I think I've realised lately that it comes from a place of needing to connect with people who understand you. When people talk about joining clubs and stuff I think this is what makes them feel right. I've been lucky to find it in a couple of places in the past couple of years. Sort of connected (and related to being busy and not having much time) I had a feeling yesterday looking at my car as I took the dog out, that soon I'd have to 'go back to my other life' and that I'd have to leave the car behind when I was summoned away. I don't have another life - just this one! - but I think when I've been overwhelmed for a sustained period of time it can feel like I've been somewhere like an institution and I want to get back to... something but I don't know what, or where it is. There's only ever forwards, can't go back, and that feeling of getting further and further away from something you've forgotten haunts me sometimes.

Grumblevision · 25/12/2023 09:48

Oh and I Def had this when I was about uni age. I felt like I'd been pushed out of the nest by time and circumstance and had nowhere I belonged. Home felt physically small, my home town felt like the sky was too low. It still feels very oppressive when I go back there. My parents don't live there, it's just that I outgrew it. We had to think about moving back there a while ago and I was so gloomy; it feels like being squashed when I think about it.

thinslicedham · 25/12/2023 10:24

I get this, too, more often ever since my maternal grandmother passed away unexpectedly of a heart attack several years ago. One of my first thoughts as I was reeling from the shock was that nothing would ever be the same again, and I was right... That was the first real loss of someone I felt very close to, with no warning, and life changed forever after that.

mantyzer · 26/12/2023 03:35

I think it is really about wanting to feel safe, loved and comforted as you might have as a very small child. A "home" where a cuddle from your mum can make everything all right again and all your problems will disappear.

bobotothegogo · 26/12/2023 11:46

I frequently say to myself, 'I want my mum', despite being in my 40s with a family of my own and my mum only living 5 mins away.

For me, it's a primal need for being soothed and comforted during times of stress or sadness.