To feel like I want to go home, even though I'm already at home?

[WantToGoHomee]

I'm in my 20s still living with parents, with all of my siblings and my family dog. I'm at home, the same home that I've lived in my entire life. Yet I find myself saying to myself 'I want to go home' even when I'm sitting at home. Does anyone else experience this? There's this sad, mournful longing for 'home', but I'm already at home?

I think it's missing the security of home as a child, where there were parents to solve most problems. Maybe part of growing up? Bless you I feel for you.

Yep all the time. I find myself saying out loud “I want to go home” multiple times a day without meaning to or realising I was going to say it.

It's similar to my 90yo aunt who has dementia and asks to "go home" or wants her mum. She wants to have that feeling of comfort, support and love that she had as a child from her mum.

@Spinet I literally spat my tea out laughing! OP I used to get this feeling a lot not so much now I'm in my 50's.It's funny not uncommon but noone really talks about it. I wonder if it's a kind of sadness before you build your own life/home/family. Or that longing to feel safe or happy when you feel the opposite?x

I used to say this a lot when I was younger to my parents, even if I was at home
They thought it was something to do with a past life 😅

I know the feeling. Have you lost someone? My mother died in 2021 and I often feel homesick (even though I have lived in the same home now for 25 years). It’s a slightly different feeling to grief. But for me it’s related.

This time of year can be particularly bad for prompting melancholy and anxiety (though I do actually really like Christmas my pleasure in it has to make space for these other feelings too). There is a pining, yearning quality to a longing for home that can leave a person quite unsettled. As I have got older I have got better (don’t always succeed) at letting different feelings sit alongside each other and just ride out the less positive emotions. For you though it may be as simple as an indication you are ready to find a home of your own.

I find this too.

It's the hiraeth ❤️

A blend of homesickness, nostalgia and longing, "hiraeth" is a pull on the heart that conveys a distinct feeling of missing something irretrievably lost.

How is your relationship with your family? And how do you feel in yourself - anxious, sad, lonely?
I used to feel like this living with other people or in a place I just wasn’t happy. “Home” for me is completely my own space where everything is to my own liking. But for others it can be in a chaotic family house, or with a couple of friends they have a deep emotional connection with. I think you have a need that isn’t being met by your current life or living situation

When my granddaughter was very little she used to say this a lot. One day I said to her that she was already at home and she replied “ No, I mean home where I lived before I came out of mummy’s tummy where I used to play with angel babies!!!!

I’ve never heard of this!
I find it so strange!

My home is my complete safe space and I always feel like I want to go home if I am somewhere else but once I’m home I am completely satisfied.

It’s odd that so many people have the same feeling.

Do you suffer with anxiety?
Do you want your own space?

Omg that’s so weird!!

Yes, it’s exactly that @Whyhellodaffodil . I sometimes mutter it to myself when I’m tired and still have loads to do…I.e., my normal state. 😂 For me, it means going back to my childhood in an English village and my Mum being alive, instead of being a middle-aged adult and the emotional lynchpin of my family. It’s tiring being “there” for everyone!

There's a Welsh word specifically to describe this feeling - Hiraeth. A deep longing for 'home' - even if that 'home' never was.

This is me. Put me by the ocean in a village in a certain area and that’s it. Home. Doesn’t matter how long In between it’s always home nowhere else compares. Doesn’t need to be sunny and hot or anything. Could be huge storms and raining but it’s my place my comfort my home. Even though I’ve never lived there.

It’s also not about being off work and what not as I get the whole of the summer off if I want it to do as I want.

Oops missed that you already posted this - yours is a better explanation!

I am in my 50s, dealing with elderly relatives, kids, work etc and get this feeling when everything gets a bit much. It’s a reminder to count my blessings, take time for myself to be cosy with my husband and let the feeling pass.

This reminds me of when my dc started nursery school and when they were hurt or upset would cry for mum, even if I was right there hugging them.
I still say “mum’s here” comfortingly even though they’re strapping teens now and it seems to hit the spot for them.

I think there’s a big difference between a house and home - maybe something along the lines of the Danish hygge? Would a cup of tea and a sit on the sofa help d’you think?

I often feel like I'm home in certain places - often by the sea or , weirdly, in a grave yard.

You feel unsettled. Time to find somewhere you can settle.

Is there a reason you still live with your parents?

I'm not being judgemental btw, lots of young adults do but it's more 'normal' at 22 than it is at 28 so possibly something to do with that.

I often get a feeling of homesickness. When I was a child I sucked my fingers and the feeling went away. So maybe it's tiredness or anxiety.

Oh, OP! I had this for years. Ironically when I moved into my 'home' a few years ago, I started to view my parents house as 'home' and my own house as 'the place I live in.'

It's because although it is your 'home' and you grew up there and (I hope) had lovely memories there, you're no longer the person you were when you were growing up and it was the 'family home.' You've changed, but the place hasn't. So you're a bit disjointed/turned around by it.

If you're anything like me, the second you move out you'll wish you could move back in! (But maybe I am a bit of a weirdo).

I lived with my parents until I was 28. Most of my friends (early 30s) did as well. So I don't think you can say it's not normal or 'more normal' at 22 than 28.... And OPs post wasn't asking for judgement/questions over why she still lives at home and (quite frankly) it's got nothing to do with her post.

I'm 65, both parents died many years ago, the home I grew up in was sold over 20 years ago and is now a very fancy rental, I own my own home, and yes - sometimes I do just want to go home, and sometimes I just want my mum.