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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking it's not ok to reveal your son's ASD diagnosis to 4million strangers on Instagram?

257 replies

Dabralor · 21/12/2023 09:46

Mrs Hunch - Instagram cleaning woman- has posted a pic with her little son. He's had an autism diagnosis confirmed.

How can it be justifiable to share his private medical information with all these random strangers? Wherever he goes now in his life, a quick Google search will reveal really personal information about him. This information is no longer his to possess.

If my parents had done this to me, I don't think I could ever forgive them. I feel really sorry for the kids of social media stars 😔.

OP posts:
CrumbleTree · 21/12/2023 12:12

@TeacherPlease

I do agree with you! It is an interesting debate : and I think more laws will come into place regarding data privacy. And it could be a minefield because there are many examples now of : things that were historically deemed acceptable and now criminalised.
I think it will ultimately come down to Instagram/Facebook etc allowing the content. I guess people/Mrs Hinch are posting within guidelines currently.

Hotchocolateand5marshmellows · 21/12/2023 12:14

I understand op's point however I've followed her for a while and it's fairly obvious that her child is autistic, she just didn't confirm it till now. And the way she talks about him is really lovely and positive.

Of course she could have kept her children off Instagram completely, but in the kindest way possible she couldn't have shared videos of her child without people really figuring out anyway.

So she had the choice to hide him away completely or be open and honest and proud of who he is and she chose the latter option.

CuriousityKilledThePussy · 21/12/2023 12:14

HairdryerMary · 21/12/2023 09:53

Also she made it seem so quick and easy. He's tiny so he can't have been on the waiting list for four years like we have.

I wouldn't call a four year old "tiny"

Purplegirly01 · 21/12/2023 12:16

I agree and I am really interested to see how all these influencers children turn out as adults when their whole life has been shared without their consent.

PeopleWillAlwaysNeedPlates · 21/12/2023 12:17

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 21/12/2023 12:08

You can get a private diagnosis within 6 weeks. That’s what we did and obviously what they did too.

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It’s incredibly difficult to find a reputable provider who will do a multidisciplinary assessment for a child under 7. If you have a recommendation I would be very grateful as we are struggling with this at the moment.

purplesky18 · 21/12/2023 12:17

Completely agree with a lot of the comments here regarding privacy and consent. My son is younger than 4 and has been diagnosed autistic, he is quite clearly autistic if you was to meet him but I don’t feel the need to spread it all over Facebook or instagram, it’s his diagnosis and I can’t imagine in 20 years time he’d thank me for blasting all his differences to strangers before they got a chance to meet him. It’s odd behaviour.

x2boys · 21/12/2023 12:22

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 21/12/2023 12:08

You can get a private diagnosis within 6 weeks. That’s what we did and obviously what they did too.

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Not necessarily again it depends on how the autism impacts someone
My son wss diagnosed through the NHS at three it wss blindingly obvious he was autistic and severely. Impacted

Believingin · 21/12/2023 12:22

PeopleWillAlwaysNeedPlates · 21/12/2023 12:17

It’s incredibly difficult to find a reputable provider who will do a multidisciplinary assessment for a child under 7. If you have a recommendation I would be very grateful as we are struggling with this at the moment.

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Most of my dc were diagnosed aged 2.5-3 years (we went private as waits were too long in our area)

PeopleWillAlwaysNeedPlates · 21/12/2023 12:26

Believingin · 21/12/2023 12:22

Most of my dc were diagnosed aged 2.5-3 years (we went private as waits were too long in our area)

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I don't need to be told that waits are too long. I'm asking for recommendations as we can't find a provider who will do a multidisciplinary assessment for our five year old.

SuzieBishop · 21/12/2023 12:28

I put on my facebook when my child was diagnosed so I could let my wider network of friends/family know. It's not really in depth medical information.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 21/12/2023 12:28

PeopleWillAlwaysNeedPlates · 21/12/2023 12:26

I don't need to be told that waits are too long. I'm asking for recommendations as we can't find a provider who will do a multidisciplinary assessment for our five year old.

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Provide wellbeing will do them from 2 years old.

Iwishiwasasilentnight · 21/12/2023 12:30

TomeTome · 21/12/2023 09:49

Would you feel the same about other diagnosis or is it just ASD? For example could she mention he was epileptic, diabetic, dyslexic or colour blind?

I would feel the same about all of these. It’s my child’s private info and if they want to tell people when they’re older that’s their choice.

Believingin · 21/12/2023 12:32

PeopleWillAlwaysNeedPlates · 21/12/2023 12:26

I don't need to be told that waits are too long. I'm asking for recommendations as we can't find a provider who will do a multidisciplinary assessment for our five year old.

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No need to be so rude. You could have just asked for a pm of who we used as they did a mdt assessment but I don’t feel inclined to disclose after being ‘snapped’ at

SuzieBishop · 21/12/2023 12:32

LittleMrsPretty · 21/12/2023 10:01

How else is awareness of ASD communicated? If people like Mrs Hinch (By that I mean people with influence) don't share it. I hope her posts help educate the ignorant people like you.

She may be many things but I don’t see how you can criticise this.

This

brunettemic · 21/12/2023 12:33

I honestly couldn’t care less, it’s up to her and it’s her kid. You’re all whining about her monetising it, stop following her then.

YourNameGoesHere · 21/12/2023 12:34

brunettemic · 21/12/2023 12:33

I honestly couldn’t care less, it’s up to her and it’s her kid. You’re all whining about her monetising it, stop following her then.

What makes you think most people on this thread follow her. I saw it when looking at the news earlier I don't even have Instagram...

VegeBurgers · 21/12/2023 12:36

All parents should stop sharing so much about their children on social media, bath pictures, showing their school uniforms, pictures of them being ill, medical information - it’s dangerous, but ‘celebrities’ with literally millions of followers should be especially careful.
On Reddit they have subreddits about Instagram influencers and often it’s revealed the children are talked about inappropriately, there have even been cases where the children have been seen on child sexual abuse websites.
I hope in the future that it’s against the law to share so much information about our children.

PeopleWillAlwaysNeedPlates · 21/12/2023 12:37

Believingin · 21/12/2023 12:32

No need to be so rude. You could have just asked for a pm of who we used as they did a mdt assessment but I don’t feel inclined to disclose after being ‘snapped’ at

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Congratulations on the most childish post on the thread. How nasty of you.

PeopleWillAlwaysNeedPlates · 21/12/2023 12:39

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 21/12/2023 12:28

Provide wellbeing will do them from 2 years old.

Edited
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Thank you Flowers. Looks like they are in Essex? I should have said that we are in the West Mids.

justasking111 · 21/12/2023 12:40

I know someone personally with hundreds of thousands of followers. Her children are never talked about. Their highs and lows are strictly only discussed within the family.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 21/12/2023 12:40

PeopleWillAlwaysNeedPlates · 21/12/2023 12:39

Thank you Flowers. Looks like they are in Essex? I should have said that we are in the West Mids.

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They do exist though so hopefully you can find one closer to you.

Anna8089 · 21/12/2023 12:42

I waited 7 years . Ridiculous. So I understand your frustration. It is so wrong.

Believingin · 21/12/2023 12:43

PeopleWillAlwaysNeedPlates · 21/12/2023 12:37

Congratulations on the most childish post on the thread. How nasty of you.

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Perhaps you’ll have a think about how you speak to people in future though

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 21/12/2023 12:44

Paddleboarder · 21/12/2023 11:41

The whole social media monetising thing is a grey concept because of course it's actually illegal to publish commercial photos of people taken in private settings without their consent.

Unfortunately many parents have the "my child, my rights" attitude Confused