Page 7 | In thinking it's not ok to reveal your son's ASD diagnosis to 4million strangers on Instagram?

ChateauDuMont · 21/12/2023 11:35

They so it to get more likes and attention.

The same as that Christine McGuiness woman.

Allthingsdecember · 21/12/2023 11:36

I’m not sure that children should be used as content by influencer parents in general… but I don’t think an autism diagnosis should be hidden away either.

My child wears hearing aids. My social media accounts are relatively private, but I’d never consider hiding the fact that he wears them even if it wasn’t.

Hiding any disability gives the impression that it’s a negative. I don’t want my child growing up ashamed of any part of himself, and I don’t want that for children with autism either.

YeahIsaidit · 21/12/2023 11:36

TenorMachine · 21/12/2023 11:29

Agree. I have thought this for some time. If nothing else, it could lead to a fracture of relationships between parents and child.

I have never posted photos of my kids and they have now left home. I can understand people posting the odd photo of birthdays etc. But to document private moments, or to post photos of almost every day of their lives? Nope, too much.

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I admit I have posted a handful of pics of my dc, just pics of the two of us on a day out or laughing at something we were enjoying but to my own private FB page with only close friends and family on it. Nothing insane like photos of them in hospital or on the pot or (as some seem to think is fine) evidence of bad behaviour etc. I wouldn't want someone to do that to me so why would I do it to my child?

pillof · 21/12/2023 11:37

I think this obsession with sharing everything is coming from a weird idea that we must all be 'activists' for everything.

Depending on your peer group, there is a fair bit of pressure to share all about our menopauses/periods, mental health etc, especially on social media. That you must do it to raise awareness and help others.

I don't agree. The average person is better served by confiding in trusted, in-real-life friendships and/or professional support. 'Vulnerability' is not always a good thing. It can leave us exposed, at risk from others.

I really think (hope) there will be a huge backlash to the 'vulnerability in public' culture.

banjocat · 21/12/2023 11:37

BungleandGeorge · 21/12/2023 11:31

I agree about not putting children’s lives on the internet for everyone to see. What I’m uncomfortable with is singling out the ASD diagnosis as something ‘really personal’ that will ‘follow him’ when he’s older. Being autistic is not something to be ashamed of or something that needs to be hidden and you are insinuating that by singling that particular aspect out above all the info being put on the internet about that child.

I don't agree with any medical information about children being shared online (as per my post above).

But I think it is understandable to be particularly upset about things like ASD, other types of neurodiversity etc., because the reality is that there is still stigma, misconceptions and misunderstandings about these in the general population.

Many people do not understand and it is utterly naive to say otherwise.

It's not about shame, it's about the necessity of sharing, and that information belongs to the child.

I would be extremely upset if a family member shared private medical information about me on social media - not because I'm ashamed, but because it's simply not their information to share.

I would not want the first thing someone knows about me to be that I am autistic. I would want them to get to know me and then tell them in my own time, if at all.

Children should have that same perogative.

Letsgotitans · 21/12/2023 11:37

HairdryerMary · 21/12/2023 09:53

Also she made it seem so quick and easy. He's tiny so he can't have been on the waiting list for four years like we have.

Well it's pot luck how quickly you get a diagnosis. I know children younger than him to have got a diagnosis through the NHS. She of course will have had the money to go private.

Believingin · 21/12/2023 11:38

She is raising awareness, plus had been asked multiple times and she felt able to answer - there’s nothing wrong with that. Do you think those with autism should hide away and not talk about it??

marychristmas22 · 21/12/2023 11:40

Totally agree. Nobody's medical conditions of any kind should be broadcast online without their consent, especially when you have millions of followers. A relative of mine constantly complains about her autistic child's meltdowns on Facebook- "we can't even do X now because it's too upsetting for X" that sort of thing. She's probably looking for sympathy or support but failing to see that once these posts are out there that's it. Who's to say her dc won't come across it in years to come?

Anyway Yanbu and I think it's shocking that influencers cash in like this at the expense of their kids privacy.

Mills86 · 21/12/2023 11:40

Workway · 21/12/2023 11:32

You are very very naive to believe that.

If you don't understand the judgement and stigma that still exists towards people with learning difficulties, mental health or autism/ADHD etc then all I can say is the ignorance you live in must be bliss.

Due to the associated stigma and potential for discrimination in the future e.g with employment - it should be down to the child when their an adult to decide how much they wish to share.

It is not the same as diabetes and to compare it to a broken leg......is ridiculous.

Just because lots of celebrities over share - doesn't make it ok. Lots of men used to slap the arses of women in the workplace - that was 'normal' back then - again didn't make it ok.

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Not to mention that some autistic people (believe this is actually the correct term…) remain non-verbal. It’s obviously a spectrum and that comes with many unknowns for parents.

MotherOfHouseplants · 21/12/2023 11:40

I knew this thread would be derailed by the fact that the dx is for autism. The last one was too. The issue is around private medical diagnoses of any type.

TenorMachine · 21/12/2023 11:40

YeahIsaidit · 21/12/2023 11:36

I admit I have posted a handful of pics of my dc, just pics of the two of us on a day out or laughing at something we were enjoying but to my own private FB page with only close friends and family on it. Nothing insane like photos of them in hospital or on the pot or (as some seem to think is fine) evidence of bad behaviour etc. I wouldn't want someone to do that to me so why would I do it to my child?

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Exactly. I am not even talking about celebs or influencers. I don’t follow them and they aren’t part of my world.

I am talking about some of the parents of young kids I know. Whose faces are plastered daily on instagram with these fixed smiles. It’s like everything they do has to be shown to the world. Poor kids.

YeahIsaidit · 21/12/2023 11:40

Believingin · 21/12/2023 11:38

She is raising awareness, plus had been asked multiple times and she felt able to answer - there’s nothing wrong with that. Do you think those with autism should hide away and not talk about it??

There's a big difference between hiding something and choosing not to broadcast it to millions of people you don't even know

YourNameGoesHere · 21/12/2023 11:40

Believingin · 21/12/2023 11:38

She is raising awareness, plus had been asked multiple times and she felt able to answer - there’s nothing wrong with that. Do you think those with autism should hide away and not talk about it??

Not one person has said it should be hidden away like some dirty secret so I don't see why people keep using that argument??

It's not complicated. Sharing it with people close to the child like teachers, family and support staff when necessary is fine. Sharing it with 4 million strangers for content is not.

Paddleboarder · 21/12/2023 11:41

The whole social media monetising thing is a grey concept because of course it's actually illegal to publish commercial photos of people taken in private settings without their consent.

WhichOneGoes · 21/12/2023 11:42

I agree with you OP.

toomuchfaff · 21/12/2023 11:42

HairdryerMary · 21/12/2023 09:53

Also she made it seem so quick and easy. He's tiny so he can't have been on the waiting list for four years like we have.

probably gone privately for diagnosis, a colleague did the same rather than wait years

Believingin · 21/12/2023 11:43

YeahIsaidit · 21/12/2023 11:40

There's a big difference between hiding something and choosing not to broadcast it to millions of people you don't even know

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What has she actually said though ? That he has autism - is that it? It’s a word a diagnosis- that isn’t violating his rights. If she started showing videos of meltdowns or details about personal care then yes that’s crossing a line but that’s the same for any condition. Eg a child is diabetic - you wouldn’t show them having a hypo seizure, a child has Tourette’s - you wouldn’t post videos of tics / swearing.

Believingin · 21/12/2023 11:44

YourNameGoesHere · 21/12/2023 11:40

Not one person has said it should be hidden away like some dirty secret so I don't see why people keep using that argument??

It's not complicated. Sharing it with people close to the child like teachers, family and support staff when necessary is fine. Sharing it with 4 million strangers for content is not.

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The internet has huge potential as a support network - that is why she has done this - for herself and for others , I applaud her.

Buttercup176 · 21/12/2023 11:45

Eugh, she should definitely brush this under the carpet and hope for a diagnosis that is more acceptable to other people.

x2boys · 21/12/2023 11:45

Believingin · 21/12/2023 11:38

She is raising awareness, plus had been asked multiple times and she felt able to answer - there’s nothing wrong with that. Do you think those with autism should hide away and not talk about it??

She's not though is she?
She's raising awareness of how autism affects her child and that's it .
As this thread clearly shows most people don't seem to have any idea how vast the spectrum is

PinkyU · 21/12/2023 11:46

x2boys · 21/12/2023 11:26

The child is three to.get an autism diagnosis at three he must be quite impacted by his autism at the moment
Why are people assuming that he will be able to understand what his mother has done when he's older ?
My son wss diagnosed with autism at three and at 13 is severely autistic and non verbal, he would have no clue if I divulged this on social media or had any understanding that he's autistic
The spectrum is huge and
Mrs Hinch s child may make huge strides ,but it can't be assumed .

I so agree with this.

It’s great that so many posters DC can make the decision not to share their diagnoses or that they don’t have to, as it isn’t particularly obvious what their needs are.

Some parents don’t have that, dare I say, privilege. It’s pretty obvious to all that my own DC has significant needs, both physically and developmentally, it’s not really something I, or she can get away with deciding not to “share”.

I have no idea who this parent is we’re all discussing but if her sons needs are such that there is no discussion to be found in not sharing them, what is she to do, pretend that he doesn’t have obviously profound or significant needs? Pretend that their family life is not very different from the typical?

YourNameGoesHere · 21/12/2023 11:46

Believingin · 21/12/2023 11:44

The internet has huge potential as a support network - that is why she has done this - for herself and for others , I applaud her.

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That you think someone known for using everything in her life for content has done this because she wants support is very naive. If she had wanted support why not just use her own diagnosis? Why bring her small child into it...

Cerealkiller4U · 21/12/2023 11:47

Dabralor · 21/12/2023 09:46

Mrs Hunch - Instagram cleaning woman- has posted a pic with her little son. He's had an autism diagnosis confirmed.

How can it be justifiable to share his private medical information with all these random strangers? Wherever he goes now in his life, a quick Google search will reveal really personal information about him. This information is no longer his to possess.

If my parents had done this to me, I don't think I could ever forgive them. I feel really sorry for the kids of social media stars 😔.

USA are bringing out a new law about revealing information about your child and if they benefit money wise off their child the money will go to the old etc.

i 100% back this new law. It shouldn’t be ok to share information. People forget the internet is forever!!! That information is there even if it gets deleted. Like a shadow forever in time.

Mrsjayy · 21/12/2023 11:47

YourNameGoesHere · 21/12/2023 11:11

It's all over the internet and on the news. One mumsnet thread isn't making a jot of difference. The op isn't in the wrong here she wouldn't have been able to share anything about this child if his own mother valued his privacy.

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of course it makes a jot of difference I had no idea probably a lot of people didn't know, but the op and many many many posters on this thread think it's fine to share and talk about a known child's medical diagnosis on the Internet. if "you" really had concern for a child's medical information and well being "you" wouldn't be naming the parent/influencer "you" would taking about it in an anonymous fashion but people love the drama and gossip about certain instagrammers because that's what this thread is really about!

Believingin · 21/12/2023 11:47

x2boys · 21/12/2023 11:45

She's not though is she?
She's raising awareness of how autism affects her child and that's it .
As this thread clearly shows most people don't seem to have any idea how vast the spectrum is

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I have a large family and all my dc are autistic, I am too. I don’t even have fb and have IG just to look not to post so I do the opposite to her but I can absolutely understand why she has chosen to do this . She has a platform and is using it - it’s her prerogative