That this is getting on my tits?

[Grapefruitstars]

Work in a nice team. We get presents over Xmas. The usual chocolates etc. One member of the team has started saying I eat all the chocolate and have hidden some for myself. This isn't true. Literally everytime I get up out my chair this starts. Ohhh grapefruit has gone for the food, she's eaten all the goodies. It's getting on my fucking tits.

I think perhaps you’re a bit naive about the vastly varying office cultures out there.

In my current office, you couldn’t tell someone to fuck off - but equally, in my current office, nobody would be a tedious dickhead like the OP’s colleague is. That’s one of the reasons I like working there. People are nice to each other and nobody’s a weird neggy twat.

In my previous office, there were definitely heated arguments and people definitely, when pushed to their limits, would tell each other to fuck off.

You're kidding!?

Just a reminder from the OP:

One member of the team has started saying I eat all the chocolate and have hidden some for myself. This isn't true. Literally everytime I get up out my chair this starts. Ohhh grapefruit has gone for the food, she's eaten all the goodies.

It’s not actually that left-field to put this sort of behaviour down to malice. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m the first to give people the benefit of the doubt - life ticks along far more pleasantly if you don’t default to assuming the worst of people.

I’d have outwardly chortled (and inwardly rolled my eyes) the first couple of times it was said.

After that, I’d be annoyed. And wondering what she was getting out of persisting. Pretty much like the OP is.

I'd buy her a fuck load of chocolates and put a big note on her screen saying "Dear Gladys, I HAVEN'T eaten all the chocs, but you seem to feel like you are missing out - these are all for you you twat"

I'm assuming it's a woman. Maybe it's a bloke and he fancies you and it's some kind of Neanderthal flirting.

Well have you said something to them about it?

Yes I've told them it's boring but it continues.

I’d report them for workplace bullying. Not acceptable. Sending you a hug

Oh right. In any office I've worked in, if someone is going to have a biscuit/chocolate, the tin would be passed around everyone else as well. I've never had a situation where people just take them for themsleves whenever, so I presumed this is how it works in most workplaces.

I would go with "Oh gosh, Sandra, I think that's gone a bit stale now, don't you?" Then a slightly pitying look before you walk off.