Page 5 | To look nice for husband?

macaronsandtea · 2023-12-20T12:03:13+00:00

I am a full time mummy to a toddler and a newborn, my husband works full time and I take care of the home, I mostly lounge around the house in sportswear or pyjamas unless I'm going somewhere but just before my husband gets home I like to get dressed and do my hair and sometimes makeup, we are from the travelling community and have been raised to have very male/female roles in the home, my husband doesn't mind what I look like when he gets home as long as we are all healthy and happy, does anyone else just feel better and more confident if they look nice for their husband?

StaunchMomma · 28/12/2023 17:43

I couldn't be arsed with this at all.

It does sound like your DH doesn't expect it, though - you're doing it more for yourself - and that's a much better position to be in.

It's nice to know that when you're ill or ridiculously busy that he's not going to expect you to doll yourself up for him.

Crack on if you're happy, OP.

SALWARP2023 · 28/12/2023 17:49

Sorry no PJs. You don't have to go over the tip but I think it's lovely that you want to make an effort.

biedronka6 · 28/12/2023 17:50

SouthLondonMum22 · 28/12/2023 17:41

As long as it works both ways.

The pressure is very one sided.

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Most cultural traditions believe in gender differences. In traveller culture, gender roles are very clearly delineated. Such traditions are precious to individuals and trying to erase them is a form of Western cultural colonialism. I imagine he will try to please her in a way that is culturally appropriate to his sex. And that's absolutely fine. We need to be ok with such differences and leave people alone to enjoy their familial traditions in peace.

SouthLondonMum22 · 28/12/2023 18:02

biedronka6 · 28/12/2023 17:50

Most cultural traditions believe in gender differences. In traveller culture, gender roles are very clearly delineated. Such traditions are precious to individuals and trying to erase them is a form of Western cultural colonialism. I imagine he will try to please her in a way that is culturally appropriate to his sex. And that's absolutely fine. We need to be ok with such differences and leave people alone to enjoy their familial traditions in peace.

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I will never be ok with sexism and inequality.

This is also AIBU, if OP didn't want opinions then she was free not to open herself up to them.

Snowdogsmitten · 28/12/2023 18:12

That wouldn’t work for me.

HappyBusman · 28/12/2023 18:15

biedronka6 · 28/12/2023 17:50

Most cultural traditions believe in gender differences. In traveller culture, gender roles are very clearly delineated. Such traditions are precious to individuals and trying to erase them is a form of Western cultural colonialism. I imagine he will try to please her in a way that is culturally appropriate to his sex. And that's absolutely fine. We need to be ok with such differences and leave people alone to enjoy their familial traditions in peace.

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Travellers are as ‘western’ as anyone else, and their ‘familial traditions’, as well as the stigmatisation to which they are subjected, mean that Traveller suicide rates here are six times higher than the rest of the population, infant mortality far higher, Traveller men die 15 years earlier and Traveller women 11 years earlier on average than the rest of the population. Their mental and physical health is worse, and 7 out of 10 Traveller children live in homes where the mother has either no formal education or primary school only. Hardly benign.

SwordToFlamethrower · 28/12/2023 18:17

I dress up/make up when I can be arsed or if he is taking me out, which is hardly ever.

BigFatLiar · 28/12/2023 22:14

SwordToFlamethrower · 28/12/2023 18:17

I dress up/make up when I can be arsed or if he is taking me out, which is hardly ever.

Similar, though I do dress nicely sometimes just because I think I'd rather get the use of the nice clothes than have them languishing in the wardrobe unworn.

We tend to use 'best' now rather than put them away for another day.

Wooloohooloo · 28/12/2023 23:02

@Char65 when I'm on the school run I'm trying to dash away to get to work, not flouncing around the headmistress 🤣 Why would you care if she thinks you're well dressed?

Char65 · 29/12/2023 11:23

Wooloohooloo · 28/12/2023 23:02

@Char65 when I'm on the school run I'm trying to dash away to get to work, not flouncing around the headmistress 🤣 Why would you care if she thinks you're well dressed?

I don't - I just like to be well groomed when I leave the house - the school run days have long gone.

Nomagicflute · 29/12/2023 11:27

I think there's a big difference between looking nice for your husband and not wearing pj's.

Personally I prefer to wear clothes like jeans or leggings. But that's because I go out every day to the park or shops or just feel better wearing clothes. Maybe just try something different and see what you prefer.

Catswillbecats · 29/12/2023 11:28

My mum was the same as you. As soon as it was near to my dad's home time she would do her hair and makeup, spray perfume and be ready for him. They were a very happy couple

Char65 · 02/01/2024 16:01

Further to this on NYE we held a small party (or soiree!) at out house with all our children and their partners and some others like my brother and a few friends and quite a few stayed over. It was our youngest’s birthday too! Then yesterday when everyone had left and we’d cleared up about midday DH suggested we went out for a meal so I changed into an ankle length black leather skirt, knee high boots, a white jumper and long black puffer coat and we walked about mile to a hotel in the town where we lived, arm in arm, and it was a really lovely afternoon and I know DH appreciated me making the effort.😀Sometimes the marriage has been rocky but when you get nice days it makes up for it.

CeriB82 · 02/01/2024 17:06

For my own sanity, I’d never stay in my pyjamas all day.

get up, get dressed, Vaseline on my lips and my hair in a ponytail. Basics.