Think this school policy is ridiculous

[sadbutdontknowwhy]

Secondary school
DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term.
Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment
However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it.
Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect
In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well!
Arghhhhh. Rant over.

There’s quite an easy solution though - something about teaching your kid to respect school rules. If the child hasn’t learnt by the third strike I’m not sure you can really blame the school

what do you do if any of your children are ill I'm assuming you have another emergency contact if this happened to any of your children at secondary then they could contact them to pick up the hypothetical confiscated phone .

Well then you ensure your child abides by the rules then.

@cardibach I agree.

Oh come off it. It isn't 'so dangerous'.
They can ask a friend / passerby to phone for them.
They can go into a local shop.
They can change what they normally do after school if doing that without a phone is too hard.

Kids survived for decades without their own mobile phones, they should have backup strategies for if phone is accidentally lost/broken/no battery anyway.

Why not?

Is the world going to stop if he misses his gym for 2 weeks?
If he latches on that taking his phone out in school means he may have to go without the gym for a period - he may think twice about it.

You are pandering to him and he knows you will go get it anyway so what difference if he gets it confiscated or not.

He should be inconvenienced by his actions. not you

I doubt that the phone has been confiscated because the pupil checked their timetable in the corridor.

Usually it's because a pupil has been using the phone to game or send messages in class.

I wouldn’t go out of my way to collect the phone. My DD would have to do without it until it is convenient for me to pick it up, which wouldn’t be until mid-January.

Knowing the school I bet they’ve had to put in new standards as kids don’t listen and misbehave generally as the old standards were too lax.

The kids are struggling because they’ve been let off things in the past and rightly new standards have been put in place.

I hope his phone has a lovely Christmas holiday in a drawer at school. Ah well. Never mind.

Leave it there until January. Download the gym app to your own phone and make the bookings for him until then.

Then don’t send your child to this school, or any other which has the policy.

@HormonalHairyPoppins the school I teach at does that. Except they are super high tech plastic polly pockets :)
It's a PRU so everything is handed in at the door and we wand them too. You would be surprised how many vapes and phones 'accidentally' end up in their socks.
Everything returned at the end of the day.

Then teach your kids to keep their phones off at the bottom of their bags when at school. And not to go picking fights or bullying other kids after school (are you thinking they need their phones to film that?)

Or pick a school where kids are allowed to fuck around on their phones all day. Because if you pick a school with this policy they won't give a shit how massive your complaint is.

I do think its different this week with them breaking up from school, if it was a regular week I would wait until Friday - but with him now being off for two weeks I would do the same as you, even if I didn't give it back to him straight away, I wouldn't leave it at school.

I think your son is definitely in the wrong here, and it is him, not the school that have inconvenienced you. I would be mindful of badmouthing the policy around him, as he will know he can get around it next time.

You say he has had a bad term behavior wise, is it worth going for a walk, or a coffee and having a chat with him to make sure that there is nothing else going on? I would also calmly explain to him that you've had to leave work and go and get his phone, and that was a pain in the arse for you, and you would like it if you didn't have to do it again - communication is key.

Exactly. Remove your son from this school send him to a school with less rules and consequences and watch his behaviour get worse.

Go and get it at a time more convenient for you. Your son can go one day without gym, it's not like his muscles are going to fall off

I'm in agreement with you.

I normally would back schools as I do think teachers have a really tough time

However, with the rise in academies and imho, often piss-poor leadership I think many, many policies are ridiculous and do nothing to foster a good relationship between staff and pupils and staff and parents. That's assuming that the ones that DO benefit pupils are followed

I think the school has the right idea to be honest. However, inconveniencing a working parent is very frustrating, so at the end of term the child should be able to bring it home rather than forcing the parent to come in. If it's not the end of term then kids should have to wait until the Friday to pick it up.

Students will have to find a way to navigate without a phone until it can be collected.

If they need an app for something like, for example, accessing the gym then they should make alternative arrangements such as borrowing a parent's phone or printing out a QR code. Bus timetables are printed at bus stops and school timetables can be written down.

We can't stop this policy from massively inconveniencing you, but I'm glad that something is being done to tackle phone use in school.

They probably are but were just not seen by a member of staff.

It's illogical to make everyone use their phone but punish them for using their phone.

Either have everything on paper and say phones need to be put away during the day, or embrace the use of phones at school if you want everything to be paperless.

Something in between is too unclear.

It's the second time at our school. Lots of teachers will remind them first. Not all.

He could, of course, have taken the detention for refusing to hand it over. That risks not going to prom or on trips at the end of the year though and your school might put him in isolation instead...

OP I think you should try this.
Very curious to see how it would play out.

And here lies the problem.

They just have to learn the rules. Consequences will support that. I mean, real consequences, like missing the gym or their parent being angry with them that they had to leave work early,

It’s like when they learn that if they don’t do their homework they get a detention after school (and miss the gym etc etc).

If you don’t reinforce this rule and blame the school, he’ll do it again and you’ll be the one leaving work to come and get it again.

Personally, I’d collect it when it was convenient to me and hand it back to him when I felt like it with a strong message that if it happens again, you won’t be collecting it again. He’ll learn.

Good for the school, inconvenienced parents may make sure their child does as they are told in future !