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Original poster

Think this school policy is ridiculous

771 replies

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 11:50

Secondary school
DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term.
Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment
However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it.
Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect
In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well!
Arghhhhh. Rant over.

OP posts:
stomachameleon · 20/12/2023 16:40

@AnonnyMouseDave the cameras installed where I work are because children kick, punch, spit, throw things, slap, shove and very very occasionally might make an allegation that needs to be proved or disproved either way.

They are also there to monitor our behaviours and make sure we are going our jobs re the policies of the school. Every minute of my day is watched (bar the toilet IF I get a chance to go as my break is often cancelled)

I reserve the right to teach without being filmed and some of our kids are vulnerable and susceptible to bullying.

Don't be a d**k.

Callyem · 20/12/2023 16:43

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 16:39

Ah so the schools time is more important than mine? I'll be sure to tell my employer that

Nobody's time is more important than anyone else's. But I'm not in a position to drop everything to be at school at a certain time only

Show quote history

Then that is a conversation to be had with your son, not the school.

I think after 2 prior confiscations within one term is is fair enough expecting an adult to collect. It is clear some parents are not reinforcing the message at home when they are not inconvenienced by their child's inability to follow the rules.

stomachameleon · 20/12/2023 16:44

@sadbutdontknowwhy you Don't seem unreasonable and it has been a long term. I agree that third offence is probably why it needs to be collected.

Instead of being angry with the school I would be Angry with your son for inconveniencing you.

I am sorry he is having a hard time. School can be a nightmare at that age- I have had three teenage boys at school! Sounds like the gym is a positive thing. Mine enjoyed sport and that helped with sen.

Enjoy your break.

Qwerty556 · 20/12/2023 16:46

Christ...who'd be a teacher?

Grimpo · 20/12/2023 16:47

Tracker1234 · 20/12/2023 14:35

Anisette - that is very funny. Some people do live in their own little bubbles! Making the police lives a misery?? They will have a jolly good laugh over you and your claim. They cannot even come out to proper break ins. Why on earth would they listen to the rantings of someone about a mobile phone which is at school and you just cannot be bothered to pick up!

I don't think you're responding to the right person. It wasn't Anisette who was threatening to make police lives a misery.

Thementalloadisreal · 20/12/2023 16:47

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 16:39

Ah so the schools time is more important than mine? I'll be sure to tell my employer that

Nobody's time is more important than anyone else's. But I'm not in a position to drop everything to be at school at a certain time only

Show quote history

Yes of course the school staff’s time is more important than yours! They have hundreds of kids and issues to deal with.

does make me laugh when parents act like they’re the only one in the world with a job

Grimpo · 20/12/2023 16:52

cardibach · 20/12/2023 14:49

The shouting was to a particular poster who wasn’t listening.
It is clear it’s legal as many schools have the policy and the legal guidelines indicate the same.
It’s policy for phones not to be used. As with many things, someone in authority is allowed to vary the rules from time to time if it is to everyone’s advantage. You know, like work places finishing at lunch time in Christmas Eve, say, when policy is they close at 5.

Show quote history

The guidance quoted upthread requires, amongst other matters, that the policy be properly publicised. We don't know whether this has been: OP talks about the school having introduced a lot of changes just within the last term. Therefore you can't assume that it's a legal policy.

Original poster
sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 16:52

@Thementalloadisreal

I'm not the only one with a job and not do I think so

It is also a fact that schools believe parents should drop everything to speak to or see them, and it's just not possible

OP posts:
Maxus · 20/12/2023 16:52

Bromptotoo · 20/12/2023 15:26

The problem here is that phones are seen by the school as playthings. In reality they have many other functions too, in particular keeping a youngster in touch. Schools can be a long way from home and involve a journey where kids use buses and trains to cross whole cities.

When I was OP's lad's age in the mid seventies there were several payphones around the site and another three or four public call boxes within a few hundred yard. If the bus 'knocked' I'd ring my Mum at work and walk to meet her halfway. Same if I got in a scrape with kids from the 'other' school.

It was possession of a mobile and the capacity to track trains on the internet that allowed my daughter, in her mid teens, to travel alone to see a friend 150 miles away.

I doubt there are many if any payphones in the local rural comp now. Even the one down the road went 20 years ago. The kid's bus fare could be on his phone as well as emergency money for other stuff.

I think school needs a reality check.

Edited

I think the boy needs a reality check that his actions have consequences

Thementalloadisreal · 20/12/2023 16:54

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 16:52

@Thementalloadisreal

I'm not the only one with a job and not do I think so

It is also a fact that schools believe parents should drop everything to speak to or see them, and it's just not possible

Yes schools do expect parents to prioritise their children.

The problem arises when parents think their job is more important than the school staff’s jobs.

ThanksItHasPockets · 20/12/2023 16:55

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 16:52

@Thementalloadisreal

I'm not the only one with a job and not do I think so

It is also a fact that schools believe parents should drop everything to speak to or see them, and it's just not possible

It is the school’s intention to inconvenience you because this is supposed to be a deterrent. How can anyone make this clearer?

BombaySamphire · 20/12/2023 16:55

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 16:12

I pity you if there is no-one in your life for whom you see the need to keep in contact with to ensure they are safe travelling, Is that why you are so bitter?

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What an ugly response, shame on you.
Who in your life is only safe to travel if they’re in constant contact with you?
I’d suggest they’re not actually capable of travelling independently.

Original poster
sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 16:56

@Maxus

Back for another dig

Awesome

OP posts:
enchantedsquirrelwood · 20/12/2023 16:56

My son's school did this. I had to go to collect it a couple of times.

I don't see a problem with it as a policy. The kids know the rules.

Also - the parents can go and get it when it suits them. It's meant to be a disincentive for the kids.

Bromptotoo · 20/12/2023 16:57

Maxus · 20/12/2023 16:52

I think the boy needs a reality check that his actions have consequences

Show quote history

Absolutely, just not the way the school is applying it.

WearyAuldWumman · 20/12/2023 16:59

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 16:52

@Thementalloadisreal

I'm not the only one with a job and not do I think so

It is also a fact that schools believe parents should drop everything to speak to or see them, and it's just not possible

Unfortunately, when you have a child there are times when you simply have to to drop everything.

I used to be a middle manager in a school. We'd try our very best to accommodate parents, but there were times when we had no choice but to ask them to come in at a time that didn't suit their schedule.

I understand your frustration, OP, but - unless I'm misunderstanding - the school didn't specify that the phone had to be picked up at a specific time on a specific date?

Original poster
sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 17:01

Anyway

I'm out

Have a lovely evening one and all

OP posts:
AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:01

WearyAuldWumman · 20/12/2023 16:34

Are you comparing the use of CCTV cameras (installed for security and safety) to children using their phones to take pics for bullying purposes?

Show quote history

No, bullying is wrong. I am saying that it is important to realize that there is no human right not to be photographed.

hangingonfordearlife1 · 20/12/2023 17:01

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 11:59

To clarify, he's had it confiscated 3 times but this is the 1st time I've to collect

School have been awful this term with new standards and a lot of the kids are struggling

We do the same at our school and it's so that parents take responsibility for their child's behaviour. Inconveniencing parents usually kicks them into action.

Qwerty556 · 20/12/2023 17:02

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 16:52

@Thementalloadisreal

I'm not the only one with a job and not do I think so

It is also a fact that schools believe parents should drop everything to speak to or see them, and it's just not possible

Go at a time that is convenient to you.

No need to drop everything and rush; the phone's not going anywhere.

Maxus · 20/12/2023 17:03

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 16:56

@Maxus

Back for another dig

Awesome

No. Just giving my opinion

Fullofxmascbeer · 20/12/2023 17:03

You still don’t get it op, do you?

Next time you have to go in to fetch the phone, remember that if you’d supported the school today, you might not have been in the same situation again.
After all you were ok with him texting you about bus fare this time, so you’ll be ok with him texting you for dinner money/other made up reason next time, even though he could use the phone at a time actually allowed, that wouldn’t disrupt the teachers teaching. What’s the incentive for him to worry about you missing work again? You were fine this time so he’ll rightly think you’ll be fine about it next time, because it’s that silly schools fault for having such a silly rule.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 17:05

Thementalloadisreal · 20/12/2023 16:47

Yes of course the school staff’s time is more important than yours! They have hundreds of kids and issues to deal with.

does make me laugh when parents act like they’re the only one in the world with a job

Edited
Show quote history

You do realise that giving the phone to the child at the end of the school day would take no more time than giving it to the parent. The issue here is that the school has chosen to punish the parent as well as the child.

maltichi · 20/12/2023 17:06

I agree with you OP although it seems I'm in the minority. Some parents will be picking their children up anyway or live very close by so it's not a punishment that impacts everybody in the same way. Taking the phone away until the end of the day is punishment enough, if it's not working then they could easily issue other consequences detention, isolation etc. I don't see why they need to involve parents.

Just make something up and say your DC needs their phone for safety/medical reasons etc. and say you're unable to collect during school hours as you're unable to leave work.

hangingonfordearlife1 · 20/12/2023 17:06

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 12:01

Every time I hear about schools confiscating phones I wonder what legal right they actually have to take it? Taking it away from your son to stop him using it in class - ok, I suppose, though surely it being left in his bag/locker would be more appropriate than them stealing it? To not return it to him at the end of the day is even more ridiculous though - they should return it to him.

you agree to the school rules and behaviour management policies when you enrol your child. It's effectively a contract and so confiscating a phone is not illegal in any sense