Think this school policy is ridiculous

[sadbutdontknowwhy]

Secondary school
DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term.
Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment
However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it.
Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect
In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well!
Arghhhhh. Rant over.

For the people going on about safeguarding as a reason not to confiscate phones. What about the safeguarding of other kids and teachers. They don't want to be filmed in class and put the online. What about their rights? Don't they matter? The rule is simple, don't have your phone out in class.

You know nothing about my son outside of this post
He has clear career goals

They are obviously trying to inconvenience you just like they have been inconvenienced by having to deal with your son using his phone.

I think it is a good idea as it will stop him doing it.

Behaviour in schools is absolutely appalling. Little teaching gets done because teachers are too busy dealing with behaviour management and SEN issues. Schools really don’t have much power over deterring bad behaviour. Lots of children couldn’t care less because the school gets no support from their parents. Your child goes to school to learn, lots of children are unable to learn because of poor behaviour taking up the majority of the teachers time.

I think this policy is a good idea. Yes it’s unfortunate that it is a huge inconvenience for you, and I sympathise especially for single parents who have to leave work, other commitments etc but schools need some power to try to improve behaviour. This is a great learning opportunity for your son and it’s a real shame that you can’t see it that way. But default blame school attitude is always the way for some people isn’t it and that won’t change.

Then he needs to start following rules otherwise he will not have a career for long.

Of course they do
He books his gym via the app
He uses the bus app
He often cycles too and from the gym and lets me know he is safe
His banking app is on his phone

@IMustDoMoreExercise

Because you never played up or made a mistake as a teen?

So he knows this. Then why is he risking his phone getting confiscated in the first place? Just follow the rules.

This all seems like your sons problem though, he knows if he has his phone out in class it will be confiscated and he won’t have access to these things! But he did it anyway! You need to make this a great learning experience for your son. Stop blaming the school.

he needs it to access the gym straight after school

So he's learning about the ongoing consequences of his actions. It's a good lesson.

My teens know not to get their phones confiscated. It's really not that hard.

We've had a few posters on here saying that it's mixed messages saying you can use your phone in class, for example to take a quick photograph of the board or to do a bit of research, whilst not allowing phones to be used for anything else.

Well, I say to DS that he can use his xbox in the house. But not after a certain time. Oddly enough I've never heard him come downstairs at 3am to use it. So he can figure out the difference between being allowed to use the xbox and not using it just because it suits him.

And I'm fairly certain that most kids can do the same at home. They just choose not to follow the rules at school and act 'but it's so confusing' when they're caught. It is not confusing, your kids do it all the time at home. They know your rules and they know the consequences of disobeying those rules.

They also know the school rules and the consequences. If they say otherwise, they're playing people.

Not 3 times, no.

Our school does this. And twice I've had to go because her bus ticket is in an app, and she can't get home without it. Third time it happened it was a few days before the Xmas break and I was on annual leave so could collect her. BUT, I didn't collect the phone. I left it there all Christmas holidays. Strangely enough, she's not done it again.

😂😂😂😂😂

So pick up the phone, but don't tell your son you've picked it up.

Keep hold of it at home and if there's an urgent reason why he needs it, you can hand it over.

He was pissing about with his phone at school, he shouldn't have been. This is his third strike. You need to prevent him from doing it again.

Teachers having to deal with kids lack of concentration and focus because of smart phones is one of the many things harming our kids education.

Imagine the time it takes for teachers to stop their lessons and interact with children like your son and confiscate the phone and explain why etc; multiplied by the millions of kids in school each day in the UK.

All those wasted hours where 29 kids potentially want to learn and 1 kid in the class is fucking it up for all of them.

If this was a first time problem, maybe let it slide, but three is a pattern that needs breaking.

You are inconvenienced. You are mad. That’s what the policy is trying to do. It’s obviously worked. Now communicate this to ds.

I’d collect it purely because it’s Xmas. I’d be telling him that I’ve just done him a big favour purely because it’s Xmas, and next time it will be collected when it’s convenient to me.

we managed without phones before amazingly! Sure most of that stuff can be accessed in other ways ( bus timetable )
If it’s really that important he needs to be inconvenienced to remember the pain and not do it again. I try not to make excuses for my kids bad behaviour and let them experience the consequences, it normally nips repeats in the bud.

Ok people

What I've taken from the replies is
My son is an awful child who is going to grow up to be a feckless jobless adult
I'm a terrible parent
Everyone else is perfect and has perfect children

Having your phone confiscated 3 times in a term is not making a mistake.

No op, it’s just looking to your reaction and not blaming school. This is the important thing. It’s about focusing on your son’s behaviour and addressing it with consequences. The school is inconveniencing you to send the message something needs to be done

So you just shout your view louder when someone expresses a different view?
Ok.

My Dd's school policy is confiscate for 48 hours and then it has to be picked up by a parent. But they never ask them to use phones in lessons as have a strict no phones policy. You can bring a phone to school but need to hand it in to the office in the morning. I'm quite happy with this as it just means DD2 doesn't bother taking her phone to school.

@sadbutdontknowwhy I think the difference in your case is that the school tells them to use it in lessons which feels a bit contradictory. Then again if the policy is 3 strikes and it gets confiscated, I can understand why the school won't budge on it.

He can-the world won't end.

Not at all, but most people have said they agreed with the schools policy that inconveniencing you will make your son less likely to get his phone out again in class if there is a negative impact for him.

You've unfortunately seen this as the school being in the wrong and not your son though, which most people don't agree with.