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AIBU?

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Original poster

Think this school policy is ridiculous

771 replies

sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 11:50

Secondary school
DS15 has had his phone confiscated for the 3rd time this term.
Absolutely fine, he shouldn't have had it out so deserves the punishment
However, they won't give it back to him at 3.15. A parent has to go and collect it.
Tried to explain that 1, it means one of us leaving work, and 2, he needs it to access the gym straight after school, and 3, it his property but they won't budge. It stays with school until a parent can collect
In no way am I kicking off about the confiscation, but I'm fuming I'm also being punished as well!
Arghhhhh. Rant over.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 20/12/2023 13:38

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 13:34

I do not care, I would be doing EVERYTHING in my power to make the head's life an absolute misery, and same for the police if they didn't take the theft seriously

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😂 making the police's life a misery.

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 13:38

ReadingSoManyThreads · 20/12/2023 13:27

I cannot believe the amount of people who are ok with this.

The law states that they must act in a reasonable manner, and keeping the phone after 3.15pm, and overnight for however many nights until a parent can collect would be seen as unreasonable here. Schools have a duty for the health, safety and well-being of their pupils, and it could be argued here that they are failing in the duty by not returning his phone when leaving school.

I have heard of other parents contacting the police as the school are acting unreasonably, it's essentially theft now if they refuse to give it back to him when he leaves school that day.

@sadbutdontknowwhy I would be reminding the school in no uncertain terms of the laws, (others have provided helpful links), that they must be acting reasonably and that they have a duty to protect their pupils for health, safety and well-being, and that failing to return his phone when he leaves school that day is them failing in their duty to do so, and that you'll be making formal complaints and reporting them to the police for theft (you can do this quickly and easily online).

I'm a former teacher, and I do think the school is being unreasonable. Stand up to them and remind them of their legal duties. That usually works.

Thank you. Surely many kids need their phone to make arrangements for getting home, or in case they start getting followed on their way home.

cardibach · 20/12/2023 13:38

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 13:32

I am not 'on a wind up' - what are folk not getting about the policy being to keep them in lockers (if they have one) or in bags under the desk? My son's school seem to manage to do this!
Also, as already stated above (quoted exactly to save scrolling back) - Also, this has been raised already but worth saying again - some schools expect children to have a phone use in some subjects (eg they play kahoot games as a class or they look up info etc) but also penalise them for glancing at said phone. It is a mixed message.

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Are my post invisible?
IT. IS. PERFECTLY. CLEAR. THAT. THE. POLICY. IS. FOR. PHONES. TO. BE. IN. BAGS. THE. OP’S. SON. KEEPS. BREAKING. THIS. POLICY. AND. TAKING. IT. OUT.
Out of interest, are you suggesting nobody in your son’s school ever breaks this rule/policy? If so, sign me up. A school full of teenagers who stick to all the policies? It’s a bloody miracle.

Nanny0gg · 20/12/2023 13:38

Appleass · 20/12/2023 13:14

Good for the school, inconvenienced parents may make sure their child does as they are told in future !

Really?

You think it's that easy?

Tracker1234 · 20/12/2023 13:39

God another parent who thinks their little darling can do what they want with no consequences. Welcome to the real world. Maybe next time he will think twice.

He seems to be running rings around you. How on earth did we all manage without phones in the past?

Tell him to grow up and take the consequences of his actions. Oh wait - they are now yours because he couldnt be bothered....

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 13:39

Maxus · 20/12/2023 13:35

They have confiscated it, not taken it.they havent refused to return it, they are returning it to the parents. Dear god.

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What exactly do you think confiscated means?
Also, they are not returning it to the child, and are also making it quite inconvenient for the parent to collect it.
Again, they have no right to do this.

VickyEadieofThigh · 20/12/2023 13:39

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 13:34

I do not care, I would be doing EVERYTHING in my power to make the head's life an absolute misery, and same for the police if they didn't take the theft seriously

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🤣

cardibach · 20/12/2023 13:39

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 13:33

(fairy god)
This isn't the policy, they have taken something that they have no right to take, then refused to return it without being obtuse.
Edit - also, why mention porn? Lots of things can be used to waste time, by adults and kids, no need to mention porn.

Edited
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IT IS THE POLICY!
THE BOY IS SUPPOSED TO KEEP HIS PHONE IN HIS BAG.
HE DOESN’T.
THAT’S WHY HES HAD IT CONFISCATED.
How are you not getting this?
I mention porn as a potential unauthorised use of a phone by a teenager. Or an adult at work.

Nanny0gg · 20/12/2023 13:40

NuffSaidSam · 20/12/2023 13:22

You're quite wrong.

As has been explained and linked to up thread teachers/schools have the legal right to confiscate things from pupils.

Call the police and accuse the headteacher of theft, I'd imagine they need a laugh sometimes.

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Have they got the right to keep them indefinitely though?

What if the OP was a doctor/nurse/teacher(!) and couldn't get away in time?

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 13:40

@Tracker1234 'How did we all manage without x/y/z in the past?' Well, because the world wasn't geared around to most people having x/y/z.
I take it you wrote your text on a scroll and it somehow magicked itself on to our screens?

VickyEadieofThigh · 20/12/2023 13:40

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 13:39

What exactly do you think confiscated means?
Also, they are not returning it to the child, and are also making it quite inconvenient for the parent to collect it.
Again, they have no right to do this.

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The law says differently. What you think it should say and what it dies are not the same.

But here's the thing- if parents actually supported schools and disciplined their kids, wouldn't life be better?

NuffSaidSam · 20/12/2023 13:41

cardibach · 20/12/2023 13:39

IT IS THE POLICY!
THE BOY IS SUPPOSED TO KEEP HIS PHONE IN HIS BAG.
HE DOESN’T.
THAT’S WHY HES HAD IT CONFISCATED.
How are you not getting this?
I mention porn as a potential unauthorised use of a phone by a teenager. Or an adult at work.

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They're winding you up!

Of course they get it! No-one on earth is that stupid!

BigandBeefy · 20/12/2023 13:41

Honestly OP just be chill about it and let your ds learn his lesson. When it happened to dd we didn't punish her, we didn't say anything other than oh dear, we won't be able to collect it until x day because of work/school opening times. We were calm and factual. She did the crime and this is just how it goes, we don't have any control over the school. It was annoying for her, we sympathised with her but our hands were tied. Don't turn this into your battle, it isn't.

MikeRafone · 20/12/2023 13:41

Teachers are at school until much later than 3.15 why can’t you collect it later than that time?

EarthlyNightshade · 20/12/2023 13:41

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 13:34

I do not care, I would be doing EVERYTHING in my power to make the head's life an absolute misery, and same for the police if they didn't take the theft seriously

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Perhaps you could ask a member of the police force to pick up the phone at 315 if you are too busy?

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 13:41

cardibach · 20/12/2023 13:33

Not necessarily. And the school are only keeping it overnight if a parent doesn’t collect. There’s an opportunity to get it back. Having a phone or not isn’t a health and safety issue.

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So when you walk back from somewhere in the dark - or need your phone to arrange being picked up - not having your phone makes no different to your safety? Bullshit!

Christmasbrie · 20/12/2023 13:41

But here's the thing- if parents actually supported schools and disciplined their kids, wouldn't life be better?

I'd consider returning to teaching if this happened, it won't though.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 20/12/2023 13:41

cardibach · 20/12/2023 13:35

The word ‘arguably’ is doing a lot of heavy lifting there.
You are arguing it. I don’t see any actual reason for anyone to agree with your argument though.

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I state "arguably", as with many things, they are open to interpretation, such as "unreasonable", it all comes down to who can successfully argue their case.

Original poster
sadbutdontknowwhy · 20/12/2023 13:42

Epidote · 20/12/2023 13:27

I think the policy is spot on. It is your kid making fun of your working time not the school.

Don't go to collect it until next Friday see if he catch the purpose of it.

School is shut next week

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 20/12/2023 13:42

cardibach · 20/12/2023 13:39

IT IS THE POLICY!
THE BOY IS SUPPOSED TO KEEP HIS PHONE IN HIS BAG.
HE DOESN’T.
THAT’S WHY HES HAD IT CONFISCATED.
How are you not getting this?
I mention porn as a potential unauthorised use of a phone by a teenager. Or an adult at work.

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Confiscating is fine. Not returning is not.

<wonders if the school has a 6th form and how that plays out with 17/18 year-olds>

AND SOME SCHOOL POLICIES ARE STUPID`

Tracker1234 · 20/12/2023 13:42

Perhaps - the young lad clearly cannot follow simple instructions. What he is going to be like in the world of work?

Balloonhearts · 20/12/2023 13:42

That's the point. If it inconveniences the parent, they're more likely to come down harder on their child behaviour.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 13:42

cardibach · 20/12/2023 13:39

IT IS THE POLICY!
THE BOY IS SUPPOSED TO KEEP HIS PHONE IN HIS BAG.
HE DOESN’T.
THAT’S WHY HES HAD IT CONFISCATED.
How are you not getting this?
I mention porn as a potential unauthorised use of a phone by a teenager. Or an adult at work.

Edited
Show quote history

Your replies are getting more ridiculous.
I have wasted enough time explaining to you a different view point than yours, yet, as per MN, there's isn't such a thing.

Maxus · 20/12/2023 13:42

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 20/12/2023 13:39

What exactly do you think confiscated means?
Also, they are not returning it to the child, and are also making it quite inconvenient for the parent to collect it.
Again, they have no right to do this.

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School policy, my kids school do the same. Thankfully my kids understand this rule and have never had their phone confiscated. No they are not returning it to the child, they are returning it to a parent so hopefully the parent will you know parent their child for once. And no confiscating is not taking something away it's removing it so the child will stop being a bloody pain with it in class.

SomersetLevels · 20/12/2023 13:42

AnonnyMouseDave · 20/12/2023 13:34

I do not care, I would be doing EVERYTHING in my power to make the head's life an absolute misery, and same for the police if they didn't take the theft seriously

Show quote history

What a productive and fulfilling life you must lead