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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Some people are so fucking selfish 🤬

127 replies

BlondeRaven · 19/12/2023 21:48

Who the fuck thinks it’s ok to send a 6yo into school with a tummy bug anytime let alone 4 days before everyone breaks up for Christmas!

Turns out the child was up throwing up all night but the parents didn’t want them missing out on Christmas activities so sent them in, only for the school to send them home 2 hours later after the child projectiled all over the classroom. The mum was pissed off as she was out shopping and is complaining about being called into school WTF!

So fucking stupid and selfish!

I had to walk away from her complaining at the school gate, I know I should have kicked off but I was afraid I’d just loose it. We have 2 immune compromised people in our house and planning on visiting elderly relatives this week, I’ve done all my shopping and avoiding crowded places to reduce risks so we can see them this year and the selfish bitch just sends her contagious child into school because otherwise it’s inconvenient for her 🤬🤬🤬🤬

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/12/2023 23:05

My ds has just been off for two days, missing all the Christmas performances. It was really sad but that’s life. Thing is, he was ill so would have felt crappy at school. And there will be other performances.

I had to work with him here but that’s just life too.

And he wasn’t vomiting or contagious just unwell. If he had been it would have been an additional reason of course, but I can’t believe they send these children in if only because they must lack empathy for their own child!

TheUsualChaos · 19/12/2023 23:06

The teachers will be just as furious as you are. She's potentially ruined their break as well.

There was a spell of parents doing this at our school and the bug was just going round and round as no one was keeping their kids off long enough. I asked school to put a message about 48hour rule on newsletter which they did but I imagine the kind of people that do this are fully aware of the rule, just don't give a shit.

Poor kid too, imagine being shoved into school feeling that poorly, should be at home being looked after by a parent 😔

LostPurpleKipper · 19/12/2023 23:06

Agree - anything nasty, stay home for 48 hours after last chunder. School rule here and good on them.

[Only occasion I have wavered was when my then 5 year old DC went through a phase of downing milk too quickly at breakfast (against everybody's sage advice) and then burp it back up. Technically a spew, but a non-viral one. If we'd followed the 48 hour rule per usual on that, DC would have been permanently home and entirely healthy.]

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 19/12/2023 23:08

There’s a massive kick off in the year below one of my DDs as someone knowingly sent their child in with chicken pox for several days last week as the child “felt fine”. Their teacher is about to go on maternity leave…

People have got much more blasé and selfish about illness since the lockdowns.

LeggyLegsEleven · 19/12/2023 23:09

I knew someone who sent her DD for a full week when she had puked every night/morning. She never puked during the day so that was fine apparently.

School spoke to her on the Friday as they were worried her DD looked so unwell. They also told her that some kids had started coming down with a sickness bug, wonder why!

goodkidsmaadhouse · 19/12/2023 23:09

@Twicemother I wouldn’t keep a coughing child off unless they were obviously unwell with it. Just teach them to cough into their elbows! It’s always lovely when I get a pupil coughing right into my face 😂

SisterHyster · 19/12/2023 23:09

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 19/12/2023 22:34

That's part of the problem. Another part (of the wider "sick kids in school" problem, not this specific case) is working parents struggling to take time off to care for a sick child. Like it or not, school acts as daycare for working parents.

Edited
Show quote history

Yup. I get one emergency childcare day per year. So does my partner. I can’t just take holidays either, since I’m a teacher and don’t get any. My partner and I take turns; but with two kids it’s really difficult.

My kid has been unwell for three weeks now. In the past three weeks; she’s been at school for 2 and a half days. She’s seen a doctor who said we can send her to school if she feels well enough; we really are stuck between a rock and a hard place with childcare and keeping her off.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/12/2023 23:09

stayathomer · 19/12/2023 22:34

Yanbu but for everyone who gives out about people sending kids in sick, last year ds had a series of horrendous ear infections. We were dealing with specialists and in and out of doctors and hospitals (and had notes from doctors for every one) and we got a letter to say if he was out again a letter had to be sent to the department of education. He was out again anyway and we got the scariest letter saying that someone from social services would be interviewing us. They ended up not but just if you see kids in that seem like they shouldn’t, maybe they’re on some form of a warning. (I know this isn’t the case here)

This is the flip side. I keep my children off when I think it’s the right and responsible decision - a lot of which has been the 48 rule, plus a couple of ADHD/ dyslexia assessments that we’ve had to arrange privately due to waiting times. Then a bug or two and your under 90%.

I’ve also had a shitty letter re attendance which did upset me, as I’m doing my best and really hate having sick kids off who I basically have to ignore whilst I work (popping in on them between meetings, and bringing things up etc). Just after that a suspected broken arm meaning hospital visits. But what can you do?

UnAutreNom · 19/12/2023 23:10

whatdidshedotogetahillnamedafterher · 19/12/2023 21:51

You are a much better person than me OP . I would have gone to town on this stupid mother who has no common sense.

Not the stupid father hey?

SisterHyster · 19/12/2023 23:12

LostPurpleKipper · 19/12/2023 23:06

Agree - anything nasty, stay home for 48 hours after last chunder. School rule here and good on them.

[Only occasion I have wavered was when my then 5 year old DC went through a phase of downing milk too quickly at breakfast (against everybody's sage advice) and then burp it back up. Technically a spew, but a non-viral one. If we'd followed the 48 hour rule per usual on that, DC would have been permanently home and entirely healthy.]

My kids both get travel sick and are in the car for up to an hour before drop offs. Also one of them has a dairy allergy and frequently “forgets” so we do have a lot of non contagious vomming going on. We play it by ear.

endlessdarkness · 19/12/2023 23:16

Plenty of selfish people around. You just have to read the threads with people who don't care if they spread their Covid (or anything else) around.

BeaPolski · 19/12/2023 23:19

YANBU.

My DD (4) was absolutely fine when she went to school this morning but came over ill on the way home, vomiting. I suspect noro virus. There's no way I'm sending her in. It beggers belief that anybody would.

I'd be pissed off if I found out another parent had knowingly sent their child in with D&V. They probably did. Arseholes.

Isitautumnyet23 · 19/12/2023 23:20

What a ridiculous comment.

How would any parent know their child had Covid (its a mild cold/cough/sore throat for most people, no testing is required even in the NHS these days) and all the kids are coughing/sneezing at school in the Autumn/Winter terms from any number of bugs. I’d say its probably gone round every class in every school this term, you’re just unlucky to get it close to Christmas. We wouldn’t have any teaching staff if they had to stay home everytime their own kids had a cold or cough.

Big difference to the OP’s point where a child with an obvious sickness bug has completely ignored the 48 hour rule and also the poor child must have been feeling rubbish.

Ponoka7 · 19/12/2023 23:27

Catsbreakfast · 19/12/2023 21:58

Are you for real? A kid on antibiotics vomiting should still not be in school.

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You can't keep children off who are on antibiotics. After 48 hours if it was for a chest infection they wouldn't be contagious. However my GC is waiting for surgical removal of a inbeded grommet. She has become immune to amoxicillin, thanks to delays caused by lock down and now needs harsher antibiotics. These cause constipation and the combination of them and laxatives caused one episode of vomiting.

BoredofBlonde · 19/12/2023 23:28

UnAutreNom · 19/12/2023 23:10

Not the stupid father hey?

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Oh fgs, put your women's rights banner away.

It was the MOTHER that was there, not the father so of course she is talking about the mother. She is hardly going to find out where the father is and hunt him down is she 🙄

takemehomecountryroads · 19/12/2023 23:35

That is appalling! I say this as someone with a relative who knowingly visited a hospital ward when they had gastroenteritis. They (and their kids) passed it onto the patient they visited and it went around the ward like wildfire. So bloody selfish.

UnAutreNom · 19/12/2023 23:36

BoredofBlonde · 19/12/2023 23:28

Oh fgs, put your women's rights banner away.

It was the MOTHER that was there, not the father so of course she is talking about the mother. She is hardly going to find out where the father is and hunt him down is she 🙄

Show quote history

Not quite. The responsibility for deciding to send the poorly kid to school is not solely the mother’s. Internet strangers berating the mother and only the mother for a decision that should have been an equal part one made by the father is what is strange. But nope - let’s not mention the dad at all - what an evil cow bitch the mother is.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 19/12/2023 23:37

Ponoka7 · 19/12/2023 21:55

My GC vomited in school today, but it was because of the antibiotics combined with the laxatives that they are on. Not all vomiting is bug related.

What's your point?

MrsSkylerWhite · 19/12/2023 23:38

Really hope yours are ok.

Whatafustercluck · 19/12/2023 23:38

That's not just selfish, it's neglectful. A child who feels like that should be snuggled up at home on the sofa with a pillow, duvet, bowl and a bottle of water.

Dd had this bug end of last week. She said the only kids who had been off were only.off for.one day, which is the minimum according to school policy - and clearly insufficient. 🙄

IvysMum12 · 19/12/2023 23:39

Some years ago there was a serious outbreak of Norovirus. This woman sent her ill ten year old son in to school. He couldn't even hold his head up.
Mother was called in to take him home, which she did with very bad grace.
Sent him back in the next day, still very poorly.
Said she couldn't have him at home, as she had patients to see. She was a Child Psychiatrist.
Every child in the class was infected. At an important exam time.
She was nearly lynched in the playground!

96waystobehappy · 19/12/2023 23:40

I can’t speak for people who are “immune compromised” because I don’t have that issue in my immediate family or friendship group, so may feel different if this was the case.
My family have never been afraid of “germs”. It just isn’t a thing in our family, not sure why but guessing those beliefs happened to run through both my mum and dads side. I will happily go and sit on the bedside with someone with a sickness bug. Sit on a sofa next to someone with the flu etc. It’s just not on my radar to believe it will transfer to me. I just think to myself, if my immune system is low, I’ll pick something up from ANYWHERE but if it’s not a won’t pick anything up. And from doing this I can tell you this is exactly how it works.
I have worked with people with viruses / Covid / flu / sickness bugs / c.diff, pretty much everything for years. Rarely get ill.
I would be suprised if 27 in that class of about 30, are not sick at all over Xmas . And if 2 are, how can you proove it’s from that student if 27 were not sick!?
Don’t fear getting sick.. it makes you sick.

Simpleblessingsxx · 19/12/2023 23:42

BlondeRaven · 19/12/2023 22:57

How is it playground gossip? I was literally stood there as she moaned to her friend that she got called into school when she was out shopping, she said the words the child had been throwing up all night but not in the morning.

The adult thing would be not to send a sick child into school risking the health of everyone else.

Show quote history

About to reply then read this so my reply is this 100%

96waystobehappy · 19/12/2023 23:45

And just to add. I am very close to my sister and we look after each others children. If our children are sick we would mention it “btw, child one has strep / chicken pox / bug etc” to give the other person a chance to not put children around it but I can’t actually think of a single time where we haven’t gone ahead with mixing them. I also can’t think of a time where they have passed things between them that were important or dramatic enough for us to discuss

Scarletttulips · 19/12/2023 23:45

is working parents struggling to take time off to care for a sick child. Like it or not, school acts as daycare for working parents.

I don’t like it.

You should lobby the government for better conditions for working parents or you could raise awareness of the issues surrounding sick children and day care - there is more than one way of dealing with these issues.

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