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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Some people are so fucking selfish 🤬

127 replies

BlondeRaven · 19/12/2023 21:48

Who the fuck thinks it’s ok to send a 6yo into school with a tummy bug anytime let alone 4 days before everyone breaks up for Christmas!

Turns out the child was up throwing up all night but the parents didn’t want them missing out on Christmas activities so sent them in, only for the school to send them home 2 hours later after the child projectiled all over the classroom. The mum was pissed off as she was out shopping and is complaining about being called into school WTF!

So fucking stupid and selfish!

I had to walk away from her complaining at the school gate, I know I should have kicked off but I was afraid I’d just loose it. We have 2 immune compromised people in our house and planning on visiting elderly relatives this week, I’ve done all my shopping and avoiding crowded places to reduce risks so we can see them this year and the selfish bitch just sends her contagious child into school because otherwise it’s inconvenient for her 🤬🤬🤬🤬

OP posts:
instantick · 19/12/2023 22:32

I have 3 under 10 and there attendance is awful but I keep them off with any type of illness as I know how awful I feel poorly my eldest loves school but when his bad he tells me and he don't want to go in. People are so different and selfish

Christmascountdownpanic · 19/12/2023 22:32

Of course you are not being unreasonable. Some parents are useless. Poor child throwing up needs rest and fluids and other people don't need to catch the bug.

The immunosuppression is another concern you have up top.

The parent going shopping and being annoyed shows how useless and selfish she is.

mogsrus · 19/12/2023 22:33

Mother kicked off because it got in the way of her going into town. She was hoping someone else would pick up the slack

stayathomer · 19/12/2023 22:34

Yanbu but for everyone who gives out about people sending kids in sick, last year ds had a series of horrendous ear infections. We were dealing with specialists and in and out of doctors and hospitals (and had notes from doctors for every one) and we got a letter to say if he was out again a letter had to be sent to the department of education. He was out again anyway and we got the scariest letter saying that someone from social services would be interviewing us. They ended up not but just if you see kids in that seem like they shouldn’t, maybe they’re on some form of a warning. (I know this isn’t the case here)

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 19/12/2023 22:34

DragonMama3 · 19/12/2023 22:08

Don't you think the attendance rules push attendance - all these 100 pc attendance awards?

That's part of the problem. Another part (of the wider "sick kids in school" problem, not this specific case) is working parents struggling to take time off to care for a sick child. Like it or not, school acts as daycare for working parents.

Bootskates · 19/12/2023 22:36

Agree with pps, poor kid would have felt like crap, I think it's cruel to deliberately send them in that state.

And yes, selfish to risk so many others health at Christmas in the same stroke. What a cow.

SmileyClare · 19/12/2023 22:38

It sounds as though some of your info is playground gossip- the child “vomiting all night” the mum moaning her shopping trip was interrupted.

Kicking off at the school gates is daft. As is “losing it”. Calm down and be more adult.

Someone throwing up at school is always a big drama for the kids but I’d expect the parents to be a bit more adult about it.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 19/12/2023 22:40

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 19/12/2023 22:26

Forget the attendance rules if it means the whole class could be ill.

Show quote history

The point is that attendance awards create a perverse incentive for a parent to send their sick child in when that child should be at home.

momonpurpose · 19/12/2023 22:43

We had one of those at my daughter's school. SAHM who would send the boy in feverish snot everywhere because she needed a break. Kid miserable and my immune compromised kid catching it. We were all so glad when he left the school but felt sorry for him too

PhulNana · 19/12/2023 22:47

FlyingCherub · 19/12/2023 21:50

People like that need calling out on their shitty behaviour.

Poor kid.

Some people are just thick, shame I know, but there it is.

Crumpleton · 19/12/2023 22:50

*Did she disclose the fact the child had been vomiting all night when collecting the child?

How strange...*

You'd be surprised.
I worked in a school at lunchtime and it wasn't unusual when dropping my DC off in the morning to be asked to keep an eye on "little one as they've been poorly all night and I've got to pop to xyz"

The only place little one needs to be is tucked up at home..

Simpleblessingsxx · 19/12/2023 22:53

Sorry, no words other than Teachers should feel free to assess every child in respect of bugs then call parents immediately if they have concerns.

Katbum · 19/12/2023 22:54

Since covid the blame attached to contagion is out of control. Kids in school pass bugs and colds and viruses back and forth non stop, especially at this time of year. If you want to make sure your DC is definitely healthy for Christmas you’d need to isolate them. I agree a vomiting kid should be kept home, but where do you draw the line, and what are the boundaries? What if you have 4 DC and one is vomiting but others are fine. Do you send them to school? They could also be contagious. What if neighbour child is sick? Or your baby came into contact with someone with foot and mouth at playgroup last week? Sickness is part of having kids, unless you want to remove them from the risk.

Moonwatcher1234 · 19/12/2023 22:55

Goodlard · 19/12/2023 22:02

Did she disclose the fact the child had been vomiting all night when collecting the child?

How strange...

Show quote history

Also, how did you hear her complain at the school gates if she had to pick the kid up 2 hours into the school day?

bellamountain · 19/12/2023 22:56

I think if parents were fined for sending in sick kids, there would be a lot less illness all round. People are selfish though, it's cruel to your own child to send them in when they aren't well and cruel to other children (many of whom will be more vulnerable).

whyamiawakestill · 19/12/2023 22:56

whatdidshedotogetahillnamedafterher · 19/12/2023 21:51

You are a much better person than me OP . I would have gone to town on this stupid mother who has no common sense.

Also the fathers or other parents issue.

Original poster
BlondeRaven · 19/12/2023 22:57

SmileyClare · 19/12/2023 22:38

It sounds as though some of your info is playground gossip- the child “vomiting all night” the mum moaning her shopping trip was interrupted.

Kicking off at the school gates is daft. As is “losing it”. Calm down and be more adult.

Someone throwing up at school is always a big drama for the kids but I’d expect the parents to be a bit more adult about it.

How is it playground gossip? I was literally stood there as she moaned to her friend that she got called into school when she was out shopping, she said the words the child had been throwing up all night but not in the morning.

The adult thing would be not to send a sick child into school risking the health of everyone else.

OP posts:
Fionaville · 19/12/2023 22:58

It pisses me off when people knowingly spread their/their childs illnesses at the best of times, but the week leading up to Christmas is selfishness of the highest order. They are saying "I don't give a shit if your Christmas is ruined. Have it!"

SamPoodle123 · 19/12/2023 22:58

Goodlard · 19/12/2023 22:02

Did she disclose the fact the child had been vomiting all night when collecting the child?

How strange...

Show quote history

Most kids disclose this information.....and if the dc was sick in class, I would believe what the dc said....

Kittylala · 19/12/2023 22:58

Why were you afraid of loosing it? Shouldn't she have been called out?

loopyloopyloopy1 · 19/12/2023 22:58

I feel like I could've wrote this, it's so fucking selfish! I wrote, "if your child is ill - keep them at home ffs" on the group chat yesterday, I had enough of it.

My daughter in reception has had 4 different illnesses in 4 weeks. She first had hand foot and mouth, then a really bad cough. Her brother caught it, and he had to have steroids 😔 she literally just got over the sickness bug (had a week off), was back a week, and had to have yesterday off cos she was coughing her guts up - she ended up being sick everywhere. Selfish, lazy parents. They cbb to take care of their sick kids.

Original poster
BlondeRaven · 19/12/2023 22:59

Moonwatcher1234 · 19/12/2023 22:55

Also, how did you hear her complain at the school gates if she had to pick the kid up 2 hours into the school day?

Show quote history

🙄 because people don’t have more than one child 🤔 She actually has 2 other children in the school.

OP posts:
SamPoodle123 · 19/12/2023 23:02

bellamountain · 19/12/2023 22:56

I think if parents were fined for sending in sick kids, there would be a lot less illness all round. People are selfish though, it's cruel to your own child to send them in when they aren't well and cruel to other children (many of whom will be more vulnerable).

Yes, they should 100 do this. But people would still get away with it, as sometimes they still carry the germs, but are not visibly sick with tummy bugs. I was furious with one mum years ago when she sent her dd in knowing she had a tummy bug (her entire family had it and she was the last one to fall ill....). She sent her in very next day. The girl was not sick at school, but managed to spread it to half the class....including to my dd...who ended up being so sick (more then 10 times in the night!!!). It was terrible. I was FURIOuS. Hate people like this.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 19/12/2023 23:02

YANBU OP. But as a PP said, the ridiculous and unachievable attendance targets are part of the problem. It encourages a mindset of presenteeism and makes people think that going in with an illness is "the right thing to do" and "not letting the team down" instead of actually being the wrong thing to do and shitting on the team. If we could get actual adult managers at workplaces to understand that, change would come from the top down.

I think it all started with the bollocks in the mid-2000s when suddenly every job seemed to have a "2 absences in 6 months triggers a meeting with a manager" policy. And this is where it leads. I was rather hoping Covid would be the end of presenteeism but it hasn't been.

SmileyClare · 19/12/2023 23:04

Katbum · 19/12/2023 22:54

Since covid the blame attached to contagion is out of control. Kids in school pass bugs and colds and viruses back and forth non stop, especially at this time of year. If you want to make sure your DC is definitely healthy for Christmas you’d need to isolate them. I agree a vomiting kid should be kept home, but where do you draw the line, and what are the boundaries? What if you have 4 DC and one is vomiting but others are fine. Do you send them to school? They could also be contagious. What if neighbour child is sick? Or your baby came into contact with someone with foot and mouth at playgroup last week? Sickness is part of having kids, unless you want to remove them from the risk.

I agree.

I doubt the girl projectile vomited “all over the classroom”

This sounds like mothers in the playground whipping each other up into furious rage to round on one mother who they’ve decided is a “selfish fucking bitch” based on something they heard from a friend of hers.

The chances are your child will be fine for Christmas and there wasn’t in fact projectile vomit sprayed all over the room.

Have a plan B for Christmas if they are ill. In my experience raising 3dc, there was often one of the dc with a bug at this time of year.

No point effing and blinding and pointing fingers.