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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people don't care about covid anymore?

246 replies

MumofLandD · 19/12/2023 10:57

That really. Quick straw poll on that.
DS (13) tested positive this morning after I had a very faint positive this morning. I tested because I had a sore throat all night and 6 days til Christmas I wanted to check. We have Xmas dinner at the ex's families planned and 3 others going are vulnerable.
I also test when feeling unwell as I am a front line health care worker and work with cancer patients and other vulnerable people. Although my hospitals policy is if you test positive and feel well enough to come to work then you are allowed to work, I morally disagree with this.
I co parent with ex partner, he is due to have DS tomorrow for the rest of the week and he thinks DS can go to school tomorrow if he feels better whereas I disagree. DS's best friend is spending Xmas with his 90 year old grandmother and I would hate for him to pass it on to her. Plus who else will he come in contact with at school who have plans like that? Ex partner is of the opinion that vunerable people are fine if they are vaccinated but I don't believe so. Not sure if I am still traumatised by the sights I saw in the first wave.
Interestingly when I asked XP if he was happy for our son to sit next to his mother at the table, if he was still positive, who is vulnerable but vaccinated he said no. 🙄

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/12/2023 21:40

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 19/12/2023 21:35

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow no not condemning them to loneliness. Encouraging them to ask people who they're seeing to check that it's safe for them.

It's like people with nut alleggies need to check with their host what's in the food not expect everyone to not eat nuts in case there's an allergic person around.

No it isn’t. I’ve got really severe long Covid. I darent go anywhere in case l catch Covid on top of it.

But I’m really fucking isolated and bored. And l darent go anywhere. Because it’s just a cold and doesn’t affect people any more does it?

Ive had Covid twice, first time no issues. And now this hell. And the hell is perpetuated by isolation.

Benibidibici · 19/12/2023 21:44

Precovid my toddler DC's runny nose landed my prem baby dc on a ventilator.

There have always been people vulnerable to illnesses most of us tolerate mildly - RSV & adenoviruses can be lethal, as can flu.

As a population we can't eliminate covid, we have to be exposed to it and allow our immunity to continue developing.

Penguinfeet24 · 19/12/2023 21:46

I had COVID last week so I stayed home away from people, didn't visit my mum who is immunocompromised and avoided everyone on the school run. A week on and I'm just back to normal today. I stayed away the same as I would if I had flu/cold, because I'd rather not spread it if I can help it but I didn't go to any greater lengths than that.

healthadvice123 · 19/12/2023 21:49

@endlessdarkness i think the vast majority are with people they know, but going out and about in public its people they don’t know and if having fo go to work they need to be on public transport etc
my household all has/ had covid just me who is sitting waiting to get it. We have isolated from each other as much as possible but we have one bathroom and a small house. Ds had symptoms sat but no test in the house until arrived sunday and positive, he is due to go on train on friday so by guidelines should be on day 5 after test but day 6 after symptoms so what guidelines does he choose? If had not tested as is advised, advice is stay home until no temp , which was by the Monday.
he has stayed home unpaid and will until friday but test in morning and if negative travel as that to us seems a fair compromise as if we had tests on sat then sure he would of been positive then. Or in future best not to test and just stay home with symptoms, he doesn’t have a single sympton now.
I am lucky and can wfh so will do this week incase i come down with it but due to go out sat and if i feel well still then will as otgers in house will all be passed day 5.

Cupcakekiller · 19/12/2023 21:51

Test and take precautions if you wish but you can't expect others to do so or for your employer to comply with your personal view. It doesn't matter what your moral judgement is of others, there is no legal compulsion so people are free to do as they wish. 🤷🏻‍♀️

TheKeatingFive · 19/12/2023 22:08

Are they testing? A lot of people are catching Covid and not realising that it is actually Covid, because they are not testing.

Probably not, no. But I don't know of anyone who got Covid twice a year consistently during the point of peak testing either.

Ultimately if people are getting it that often without even realising, I understand why they wouldn't be taking it that seriously.

AfraidToRun · 19/12/2023 22:14

NHS is still fucked, and it's not even really winter. We should be protecting each other.

Death is the worst outcome of covid, but there are other poor outcomes.

110APiccadilly · 19/12/2023 22:43

TheKeatingFive · 19/12/2023 22:08

Are they testing? A lot of people are catching Covid and not realising that it is actually Covid, because they are not testing.

Probably not, no. But I don't know of anyone who got Covid twice a year consistently during the point of peak testing either.

Ultimately if people are getting it that often without even realising, I understand why they wouldn't be taking it that seriously.

I had COVID when I should have had my 20 week scan with DD2, and again at 36 weeks when I went into hospital to have her. (First time mild cold symptoms, I tested just in case because I didn't want to spread COVID round a hospital, second time asymptomatic, tested on admission.)

So goodness knows how many times I've actually had it, which, yes, makes it pretty hard to take seriously tbh.

Though personally if I'm ill (with anything, I don't test for COVID any more) and due to see someone I know or suspect might have an issue with seeing me, I just ask them and let them decide.

Mamabear04 · 19/12/2023 22:47

DH has an autoimmune disease and only tests if he feels unwell AND we we are ue to visit a very elderly relative (95 years old) as don't want to pass it on. Otherwis DH only tests to incase he needs antivirals. We stayed home when we had covid last month even though restrictions had lifted because we didn't want to pass it on to anyone. I understand testing for work and I think it's honorable but I personally think it's OK to follow NHS guidelines. You wouldn't test for other respiratory illnesses such as RSV or the flu. Life has to go on after the pandemic.

Daisydoor12 · 19/12/2023 23:42

I thought the general consensus was just carry on as you would if you were unwell with any other virus eg stay home if you have a temperature/don’t feel well. Interestingly today a letter from the gp surgery reinstating masks for face to face appointments (if you’re lucky enough to get one) due to high covid infection levels. I hope this isn’t an indication of where we are heading.

AndThatWasNY · 19/12/2023 23:45

Fulshaw · 19/12/2023 11:25

Well, morally you do according to your morals. Other people have different morals and would make different decisions.

Show quote history

Morally I wouldn't knowingly pass on any virus. Surely only selfish gits go to work/crowded places with hideous viral infections be they flu/colds or COVID?

DonnaBanana · 20/12/2023 00:09

Not worried about it. It’s run through the population a few times now and anyone predisposed to suffer from it in any bad way will know by now. We seem to have assimilated it like other bugs

HangingOver · 20/12/2023 00:43

Lol at the not caring one up man ship

"I don't really think about it"
"I don't care about it much"
"I don't care about COVID at all"
"I've NEVER cared about it"

"I didn't even NOTICE covid!!! I made my children lick door handles of public buildings to prove how much I DON'T CARE, I'm a renegade me!!!"

biscuitnut · 20/12/2023 00:50

I haven’t tested for 2 years. If I get ill I do what I have always done and that is to do my utmost to avoid others and stay at home if possible. I think that’s all any of us can do.

96waystobehappy · 20/12/2023 01:04

“No it isn’t. I’ve got really severe long Covid. I darent go anywhere in case l catch Covid on top of it.

But I’m really fucking isolated and bored. And l darent go anywhere. Because it’s just a cold and doesn’t affect people any more does it?

Ive had Covid twice, first time no issues. And now this hell. And the hell is perpetuated by isolation.”

Dont want to pass you off but what do you feel is the solution to this situation then? Is there some magic way to stop it? Locking down, masking up etc doesn’t stop it so what actually are the options?

Do you just want everyone to stay at home if they get a cold? What about the days before they had the cold when they would have been spreading it?
We have never found a way to completely stop viruses. I don’t understand what you want to happen. This is the only way we can go on?

HangingOver · 20/12/2023 01:24

Dont want to pass you off but what do you feel is the solution to this situation then? Is there some magic way to stop it?

Take a test, and if it's positive avoid other people if you can for a few days. It won't stop it but judging by this thread a lot of people don't give it a second thought, in fact they treat not caring about COVID like some weird badge of honour

96waystobehappy · 20/12/2023 01:31

@HangingOver

Well it’s not feasible because people don’t get paid to be off work, that can’t be a long term plan.

However, if it was, and everyone took tests and isolated if they were positive do you feel that you would then go out into the community with gusto and never get Covid? You know that virus’s don’t necessarily wait to spread until you have symptoms.

What about all the other viruses? Surely you are vulnerable to them?

If I isolated everyone time I had a cough or a cold this year I’d have lost about 1.5 months of my life. People won’t live like that. That’s never been the way and will never be the way.

There are so many “immune suppressed” people out there who are back to living their lives now. They’ve made a choice of what will be will be. You have chosen not to do that but you can’t expect the world to stop for you. You need to get outside and get over it or except the isolation. Realistically there’s no other options.

TempestTost · 20/12/2023 01:31

I think for a lot of people, they care, or don't care, in a similar way to other illnesses they might pass on.

That is, if they are in fact sick with something, they won't treat it particularly differently if it is covid vs something else. For most people that means they will make a judgement call based on how ill they feel and what is going on in their life.

In my experience almost everyone thinks in an ideal world sick people could stay home, but the fact is that people can't always stay home for mild illness. Or conversely, if they are someone else is more vulnerable to illness, they might be more careful than they would be otherwise (assuming the vulnerable people want to be treated that way.)

TempestTost · 20/12/2023 01:39

HangingOver · 20/12/2023 01:24

Dont want to pass you off but what do you feel is the solution to this situation then? Is there some magic way to stop it?

Take a test, and if it's positive avoid other people if you can for a few days. It won't stop it but judging by this thread a lot of people don't give it a second thought, in fact they treat not caring about COVID like some weird badge of honour

Covid is here to stay. You are suggesting that people live like this for decades or longer.

People get used to the risk level that exists around them. They have to, or they couldn't function psychologically, or as a society.

Greezynogreasy · 20/12/2023 01:42

No, don’t think about it anymore.
My mum ( late 80’s) also got it but was ok.

Weirdly, nhs staff don’t have to test for it if unwell but patients with symptoms get tested and isolated so as not to infect other patients 🙄

MollyPuddingBowl · 20/12/2023 01:42

I still care. A family member has been off work for 3 months because of it. Hope you feel better soon.

endlessdarkness · 20/12/2023 02:06

96waystobehappy · 20/12/2023 01:31

@HangingOver

Well it’s not feasible because people don’t get paid to be off work, that can’t be a long term plan.

However, if it was, and everyone took tests and isolated if they were positive do you feel that you would then go out into the community with gusto and never get Covid? You know that virus’s don’t necessarily wait to spread until you have symptoms.

What about all the other viruses? Surely you are vulnerable to them?

If I isolated everyone time I had a cough or a cold this year I’d have lost about 1.5 months of my life. People won’t live like that. That’s never been the way and will never be the way.

There are so many “immune suppressed” people out there who are back to living their lives now. They’ve made a choice of what will be will be. You have chosen not to do that but you can’t expect the world to stop for you. You need to get outside and get over it or except the isolation. Realistically there’s no other options.

You've said in another thread that you don't know anyone who is immune compromised, so you have no idea how they are living their life. I assure you they are not going around without care. They never did before Covid was even a thing.

The normal and sensible solution is for people to be considerate and try to keep their germs to themselves. Wear a mask if sick and absolutely must go out. Tell people in social contexts they are sick and give them the option to back out of meeting with them.

It's impossible to avoid completely, people are contagious before they know they are sick anyway, but we can reduce the number of times we catch something. Work is problematic because we all have to work and have limited sick leave, so you just do your best and find the balance between caution and living. We are doing our best knowing that an infection will inevitably come around at some stage. It's a bonus if we can avoid the one that we could have encountered this month though.

In turn, the people complaining about the long waits in A and E won't have to wait so long if there are less immune compromised people that end up there. My son gets priority often and that pushes everyone else back. If anyone who 'doesn't care' has been on one of the threads complaining about lack of ambulances and NHS wait times, think about your contribution to the problem.

x2boys · 20/12/2023 07:42

endlessdarkness · 19/12/2023 21:15

Maybe when someone in your family gets cancer or your child develops an autoimmune condition that results in them having low immunity, you'll get it. Odds are one of those eventually affects every family. Then don't complain if others are inconsiderate about their life.

Show quote history

I have two Diabetic,s in my house and my son was critically ill.in February which led him to.being diagnosed with Diabetes
Unfortunately we sill have no choice but on get on with our lives ,we can't just stay at home and isolate etc .

Workworkandmoreworknow · 20/12/2023 07:43

We care about it but we have a type 1.diabetic in the family so it matters

Tessisme · 20/12/2023 08:01

I have a DS who is on immunosuppressants and most definitely do care about Covid. I had Covid about three months ago and it was very very mild. I only tested because DP was very unwell and did a test, which was positive. But just because my Covid was mild doesn't mean it wouldn't be very severe for DS. I think everyone could do with being a bit more considerate when it comes to all viruses, not just Covid. You don't have to shut yourself away, but maintaining a decent bit of hand hygiene and not coughing and snotting all over people would be a good start. I hate the blasé attitude of people who don't have anyone vulnerable to consider.