Page 19 | To think some romance scam victims are simply stupid?

TheAverageJoanne · 2023-12-19T10:38:22+00:00

At home today and have the TV on with For Love or Money about romance fraud. One victim is an international business development manager but gave £113000 to scammers, persuading her mother and sister to part with their savings How far the love of Christ would you trust someone with a responsible job when they do this sort of thing and judgement flies out of the window? I get there are people who are lonely and vulnerable but this one took me by total surprise. How could she have been so stupid? She received an email while waiting for him at the airport, showed it to airport staff who confirmed it was fake but still sent another £30000 to prevent airport staff at the other side from killing him. Jesus Christ.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/12/2023 14:59

Christmascountdownpanic · 27/12/2023 14:31

Some people are very vulnerable to catfish. It's awful, I've seen how upset they are when they find out the person isn't real and i using fake pictures etc.

The ones on the BBC programme just seen to ignore advice though. Told the facts and still don't listen.

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It’s what they want to believe. I remember a woman on TV, evidently not thick, only early 40s, who not only sent all her savings to the bastard, but then also took out a bank loan of IIRC £10k to send him, too.

Bank staff had asked her what she wanted it for, and she told them. They warned her fairly forcefully that it was almost certainly a scam, but she chose to ignore them.

SomeCatFromJapan · 27/12/2023 15:06

@TheYearOfSmallThings I hadn't heard of the case and just read up on it. It's one of the worst things I've read, that poor poor woman and her beautiful baby girl. Her poor family who clearly loved her deeply. Evil, pathetic loser that killed her, and I'm delighted to see that his appeal to have his sentence reduced failed. I hope he dies in misery in prison.

peakygold · 27/12/2023 15:09

I could do with a few quid. Perhaps scamming stupid people is the way forward 🤔

tuvamoodyson · 27/12/2023 15:24

Tiredalwaystired · 19/12/2023 11:56

AIBU to think that some romance scam victims are extremely vulnerable?

There, fixed it for you.

Edited

To be fair, if you’re 70 years old eg, and no local 25 year old lad is beating down your door to take you out, why would you believe some 25 year old Turkish ( other nationalities are available) fella would find you so devastatingly attractive, that they’ve fallen in love with you at the end of a week’s holiday? I’m assuming you didn’t turn into Brigitte Bardot circa 1960 on the plane over?? 🤷‍♀️ foolish at best in my opinion…

Hereforaglance · 28/12/2023 10:16

Wayched that tinder swindler airhead central the girls were so annoying and hilarious they def not victims they just greedy n seen what they thought was a rich man zerp sympathy for anyone who sees pound signs ur women who watched beauty n the beast came across as such a manipulative gold dogger was hilarious and painful to listen to

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 28/12/2023 10:36

Yalta · 26/12/2023 10:29

The problem is 65 year old Doris from Wigan forgets she is 65 year old Doris from Wigan. Or thinks that being 65 years old Doris from Wigan makes her such a catch and when friends tell her she is being scammed it is just their jealousy of her relationship with this “good looking man” and they want her to be the same as them. Single and old.

The problem is that if 65 year old Doris is recently widowed or divorced, the last time she was on the dating scene was probably when she was 20 year old Doris, a 'hot property' - she is not necessarily going to realise that her 'worth' in that market has so significantly declined.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 28/12/2023 10:44

Re non-romance scams, I found out after our neighbour was a victim that there are so-called ‘suckers’ lists’, that are passed around, or rather sold on.

I’m convinced that our neighbour was targeted because she was addicted to those Wordsearch ‘competitions’, where you very conveniently phone in all your details at around £7 a minute.

Anyone spending a lot on those (as she undoubtedly did) was going to be seen as a likely ‘sucker’, for sure.

So anyone with a relative keen on them, please be aware!

SamW98 · 28/12/2023 10:48

Another thing worth pointing out is anyone who shares the lost dog/missing grandad type posts on SM. The ones that always say ‘bump this post’

They're used as a test by scammers to see who’s gullible enough to fall for sharing them and you’ll be on the list as potential future targets.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 28/12/2023 11:00

I watched Tinder Swindler some time ago and (never mind the rest of it) was frankly aghast at a presumably intelligent, reasonably well educated woman, going off in a private plane with someone she’d only just met.

IMO she was ‘lucky’ that she didn’t meet with an infinitely worse fate - the old term ‘white slave traders’ comes to mind.

Crikeyalmighty · 28/12/2023 11:16

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER totally agree. I'm sorry these ladies saw ££££s in their eyes. Rich guy, flash lifestyle, and they wanted some of it - I doubt very much they would have reacted the same to Antonio who lived in a very ordinary flat and worked down the council offices. They chose to ignore the red flags because they wanted it to be true and the fact they were attractive , intelligent and youthful and not Doris from Wigan made it likely that it was a perfectly possible scenario

Christmascountdownpanic · 28/12/2023 11:20

Crikeyalmighty · 28/12/2023 11:16

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER totally agree. I'm sorry these ladies saw ££££s in their eyes. Rich guy, flash lifestyle, and they wanted some of it - I doubt very much they would have reacted the same to Antonio who lived in a very ordinary flat and worked down the council offices. They chose to ignore the red flags because they wanted it to be true and the fact they were attractive , intelligent and youthful and not Doris from Wigan made it likely that it was a perfectly possible scenario

It comes over that that on watching them talk afterwards

beginningtowonder · 30/12/2023 07:53

tuvamoodyson · 27/12/2023 15:24

To be fair, if you’re 70 years old eg, and no local 25 year old lad is beating down your door to take you out, why would you believe some 25 year old Turkish ( other nationalities are available) fella would find you so devastatingly attractive, that they’ve fallen in love with you at the end of a week’s holiday? I’m assuming you didn’t turn into Brigitte Bardot circa 1960 on the plane over?? 🤷‍♀️ foolish at best in my opinion…

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I’m assuming you didn’t turn into Brigitte Bardot circa 1960 on the plane over??

😂

beginningtowonder · 30/12/2023 07:57

RedToothBrush · 27/12/2023 12:49

Doris from Wigan will give thousands to her 20 year old 'lover'. But won't give it to her 32 year old son with three kids who is struggling with the rent. Nope, instead she's asking him for a loan precisely so she can send it to her 'lover'.

It does get me with these 'selfless' narratives about the caring and kind being targeted is they aren't people who are actively going out volunteering or helping charities on a regular basis (if they were they wouldn't be as isolated and vulnerable in the same way) and they don't afford generosity to their family.

It's fascinating, and I really think I'd like to see more on the psychology on this. I get they want people to not be embarrassed and to report so saying they aren't stupid gives that exit but I also think it is counter productive in its own way and doesn't force people to examine their own actions and take responsibility either.

It also just lumps the costs onto everyone else who isn't this narcissistic nor daft.

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It does get me with these 'selfless' narratives about the caring and kind being targeted is they aren't people who are actively going out volunteering or helping charities on a regular basis (if they were they wouldn't be as isolated and vulnerable in the same way) and they don't afford generosity to their family.

Yes, I've often thought this too!

beginningtowonder · 30/12/2023 07:58

This may have been quoted already on this thread:

It’s Easier To Fool People Than To Convince Them That They’ve Been Fooled – Quote Investigator®

"An energetic liar can confuse, mislead, and deceive people. Yet, in many cases, that same liar is unable to reverse the deception. Hoodwinked people embrace their misperceptions. Here is a pertinent adage:

It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."

It’s Easier To Fool People Than To Convince Them That They’ve Been Fooled – Quote Investigator®

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2020/12/23/fooled/#google_vignette

Original poster

TheAverageJoanne · 30/12/2023 10:22

beginningtowonder · 30/12/2023 07:57

It does get me with these 'selfless' narratives about the caring and kind being targeted is they aren't people who are actively going out volunteering or helping charities on a regular basis (if they were they wouldn't be as isolated and vulnerable in the same way) and they don't afford generosity to their family.

Yes, I've often thought this too!

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They're those sharing posts on Facebook about soldiers, do you love someone in heaven, sad puppies saying I bet I won't even get one share, cute kids etc. All easy stuff that requires zero effort.

OP posts:

Movinghouseatlast · 30/12/2023 10:42

I know someone who was taken in by something like this. It wasn't for money though, he was gay and needed a 'beard'.

He courted her on- line, proposed on line before they had even met! The first time they met he gave her an engagement ring. She was telling her friends how much in love they were, he was special bla bla bla. We all warned her that this was a scam, but she wouldn't have it.

When we met him it was just so obvious he was gay. He lived in Dubai where homosexuality is illegal, having a wife would throw the authorities off the scent. He wanted her to buy a house with him in Dubai, give up her career. She had actually transferred the deposit for the house to him when the scales fell from her eyes. She had met him a grand total of twice and was about to throw her whole life away for him. He had started to grow very distant as soon as he had the house sorted out. He told her he would be 'away with work' most of the time so she really needed to make some friends in Dubai quickly so she wouldn't be lonely!

She is the most senior person in her field in the UK, I say this to show she is not vulnerable or stupid. So I think people have to watch out for scams, not just obvious financial ones.

Hereforaglance · 30/12/2023 11:30

Dont mix intelligence with lack of common sense lol she stupid n gave him the cadh voluntarily lol

NoraWaves · 30/12/2023 11:35

I know some very smart, academic people who have no common sense or life skills. My siblings included. Went to uni, have good jobs but drive me crazy as they are just idiots. No sense at all.

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 30/12/2023 12:04

I haven't seen this particular one, but honestly I think the same.

See it all the time on these types of programmes,
Woman in her 60s, very overweight, plain looking woman.
Goes on holiday, and all of a sudden, a man who's 20 odd, looks like he spends a lot of time in the gym...and his head is turned by this woman who's often not only much, much older, overweight, but is also dressed poorly, and burnt red like a lobster.

They come home truly believing that the young man has fallen deeply in love with her....but doesn't really wonder why the men back home have never had the same interest?

She doesn't start to realise when he's asking for money?

The penny doesn't drop until they're living in the UK together, she's in serious debt and he's disappeared.

GnomeDePlume · 30/12/2023 12:07

SamW98 · 28/12/2023 10:48

Another thing worth pointing out is anyone who shares the lost dog/missing grandad type posts on SM. The ones that always say ‘bump this post’

They're used as a test by scammers to see who’s gullible enough to fall for sharing them and you’ll be on the list as potential future targets.

Edited

This is why I am always telling DM not to engage with cold callers, don't forward on urban myth emails etc. Put down the phone, delete. Don't get on a mugs list.

Anonymouseposter · 30/12/2023 12:45

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 28/12/2023 10:36

The problem is that if 65 year old Doris is recently widowed or divorced, the last time she was on the dating scene was probably when she was 20 year old Doris, a 'hot property' - she is not necessarily going to realise that her 'worth' in that market has so significantly declined.

Show quote history

I could be Doris and I’m very well aware that my main attraction is “own house and car” even to 70 year old Bill, never mind a 25 year old ( not that I’d be interested in either of them anyway).

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 30/12/2023 12:57

Anonymouseposter · 30/12/2023 12:45

I could be Doris and I’m very well aware that my main attraction is “own house and car” even to 70 year old Bill, never mind a 25 year old ( not that I’d be interested in either of them anyway).

Show quote history

Me too. This is why I take such an interest in these scams. Because I am very well aware that I could be a target, and that the scams evolve and develop and they are very very clever at how they suck you in. One minute you're chatting to someone in the same line of business as you, exchanging tips and having a laugh, the next minute you're sending money 'just this once' to help out a friend who's in deep trouble.

I like to think I would never fall for it. But I've been lonely, looking for company, so I can see how it happens. Only my utter disdain for men and desire never to have to get close to one ever again saves me sometimes, I feel. Plus I'm hideous and even 'Johnny Depp' would struggle to keep a straight face and tell me I'm gorgeous.

User893432374902zzx · 30/12/2023 22:16

Not just stupid people fall for this scam. I know of a successful surgeon in his 50's who sent $750,000 to a woman (man?) he never met in China on the promise of marriage.

beginningtowonder · 31/12/2023 07:28

User893432374902zzx · 30/12/2023 22:16

Not just stupid people fall for this scam. I know of a successful surgeon in his 50's who sent $750,000 to a woman (man?) he never met in China on the promise of marriage.

But why?! I don't understand. Was there no woman in the UK who wanted to date a successful surgeon?

festivetinseling · 31/12/2023 10:26

beginningtowonder · 30/12/2023 07:58

This may have been quoted already on this thread:

It’s Easier To Fool People Than To Convince Them That They’ve Been Fooled – Quote Investigator®

"An energetic liar can confuse, mislead, and deceive people. Yet, in many cases, that same liar is unable to reverse the deception. Hoodwinked people embrace their misperceptions. Here is a pertinent adage:

It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."

This is it really, isn't it?

Nobody likes to be told they are wrong about anything, especially not when they have been fooled. They can't admit it to themselves, let alone anyone else.