Page 18 | To think some romance scam victims are simply stupid?

TheAverageJoanne · 2023-12-19T10:38:22+00:00

At home today and have the TV on with For Love or Money about romance fraud. One victim is an international business development manager but gave £113000 to scammers, persuading her mother and sister to part with their savings How far the love of Christ would you trust someone with a responsible job when they do this sort of thing and judgement flies out of the window? I get there are people who are lonely and vulnerable but this one took me by total surprise. How could she have been so stupid? She received an email while waiting for him at the airport, showed it to airport staff who confirmed it was fake but still sent another £30000 to prevent airport staff at the other side from killing him. Jesus Christ.

Lilithlogic · 23/12/2023 13:45

Maybe we could stop confusing reality checks with victim blaming. The latter does nothing to help any vulnerable person.

KylieJennersMakeUpSponge · 23/12/2023 13:52

That programme is absolutely insane. One bloke who was a 60-odd year old widow fell for a woman he met online who was in her 20’s. She sent him a copy of her passport to show she was booking a flight to see him (she wasn’t). Her DOB on the obviously fake passport would describe her as 11yo. He completely fell for it and still wouldn’t accept when Kym Marsh told him it was definitely a scam

SamW98 · 23/12/2023 13:57

KylieJennersMakeUpSponge · 23/12/2023 13:52

That programme is absolutely insane. One bloke who was a 60-odd year old widow fell for a woman he met online who was in her 20’s. She sent him a copy of her passport to show she was booking a flight to see him (she wasn’t). Her DOB on the obviously fake passport would describe her as 11yo. He completely fell for it and still wouldn’t accept when Kym Marsh told him it was definitely a scam

Is that the one where he sent her flowers and she sent him a really badly photoshopped picture of her with them? Honestly Stevie wonder could see how fake everything she sent as evidence was and even the fact a very attractive young woman would be interested in an average man old enough to be her father should ring alarm bells but these people just don’t want to face reality.

KylieJennersMakeUpSponge · 23/12/2023 14:26

SamW98 · 23/12/2023 13:57

Is that the one where he sent her flowers and she sent him a really badly photoshopped picture of her with them? Honestly Stevie wonder could see how fake everything she sent as evidence was and even the fact a very attractive young woman would be interested in an average man old enough to be her father should ring alarm bells but these people just don’t want to face reality.

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Yes that one! He was shaking when he found out. I was torn between sympathy and wanting to scream “FFS you silly man!”

maybejustonemoretime · 24/12/2023 18:28

I have just watched the episode

Christ on a bike !!!!!!!!!!

Why the hell do the presenters fall over themselves to blow smoke up the arse of the 'victims'

The old block thinking a beautiful young woman from NewYork (who was actually a porn star) wanted to come to see him because they are in love , the dirty old get.

And then Kym says to him he's a lovely man and the guy said he's really proud of him WTF

It's enabling the absolute insanity in every way

I am also totally stunned at how these people have access to such money.

Crikeyalmighty · 24/12/2023 18:35

@SamW98 exactly- I have absolutely no sympathy !

tallyio · 24/12/2023 19:10

maybejustonemoretime · 24/12/2023 18:28

I have just watched the episode

Christ on a bike !!!!!!!!!!

Why the hell do the presenters fall over themselves to blow smoke up the arse of the 'victims'

The old block thinking a beautiful young woman from NewYork (who was actually a porn star) wanted to come to see him because they are in love , the dirty old get.

And then Kym says to him he's a lovely man and the guy said he's really proud of him WTF

It's enabling the absolute insanity in every way

I am also totally stunned at how these people have access to such money.

He is a dirty old get.
I'll have to watch the program, but those people thinking they're in relationships with women 20-60 years younger than them are quite appalling and I have no sympathy. I'd even go so far as to say they have got what they deserved.

Circularargument · 24/12/2023 21:59

MayThe4th · 20/12/2023 05:35

Not remotely the same.
I've seen posts on here from posters who are blatantly being approached by scammers "I had a message from someone I met on holiday five years ago and he told me how he's lost his wife and child and how he has no-one and no mone'y and I'm the only person he feels he can reach out to." and the virtue signalling posters jump all over it, telling the Op that "he sounds desperate, and how would you feel if you say no and it's all true and you did nothing." practically guilt-tripping the OP into being scammed.
It's the "I'd rather be taken in by a scammer than see someone go hungry" types who are partly responsible for the fact that so many scammers are successful.

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Erm, that's what I said, unsure why you think your comment is some sort of riposte to mine?

Circularargument · 24/12/2023 22:05

Christmascountdownpanic · 20/12/2023 19:04

Sure is weird. One track mind. Odd behaviour.

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So weird. It's not as if there is any analogy to make between two examples of gullible people being scammed to act on lies and everything shortly going to shit. None at all.
But we get it. You won. You are winners. Fuck the country and your fellow citizens, amirite?🙄 Who gives a toss, because you Won.

whiteshutters · 24/12/2023 22:16

We have a family member who borrowed 7000 to send to a man she had never met 😒

maybejustonemoretime · 24/12/2023 23:21

@tallyio I'd strongly recommend the programme if you like a hate watch.

I think it's also relevant to point out that most people wouldn't lend money or remortgage their home to give to someone they actually have met or know well even a family member , especially if it involved talk of Russian gangsters and life or death medical bills.

The woman that gave £113,000 saying scammers target people are kind and caring, she didn't seem to acknowledge at all her own bat shit behaviour at all 🥴

I also found It odd that even after the scam was exposed the victims still refer to the scammer as if it was the actual imaginary person and they had turned out to be a bad un , using the fake name 'Michael is a twisted person and I hope he gets what he deserves'
No my love Michael does not exist and is in fact 5 men in a third world country possibly being forced to extort money against their will - you were not in a relationship that went bad.

SamW98 · 24/12/2023 23:34

tallyio · 24/12/2023 19:10

He is a dirty old get.
I'll have to watch the program, but those people thinking they're in relationships with women 20-60 years younger than them are quite appalling and I have no sympathy. I'd even go so far as to say they have got what they deserved.

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It’s on BBC Iplayer called For Love Or Money.

Its worth watching just to feel your jaw hit the floor seeing the sheer amount of money people give away to someone they’ve never met feeding them the most far fetched stories you’ve ever heard

I I mean the amount of attractive 40 year old men working on construction projects in Azerbaijan interested in pursuing 65 year old Doris from Wigan who end up being involved in life threatening car crashes on the way to the airport to catch their flight to Heathrow and need Doris to remortgage her house to pay the hospital bills. And yet the are believed without question 🤷‍♀️

Yalta · 26/12/2023 10:29

The problem is 65 year old Doris from Wigan forgets she is 65 year old Doris from Wigan. Or thinks that being 65 years old Doris from Wigan makes her such a catch and when friends tell her she is being scammed it is just their jealousy of her relationship with this “good looking man” and they want her to be the same as them. Single and old.

SamW98 · 26/12/2023 11:12

Well I know you’ll all be jealous because I got a DM this morning from Ricky Gervais - it’s obviously the real one, his pigeon English and overuse off emojis gave him away

I’ll be remortgaging my house soon as the banks open in the morning 🤣

Hereforaglance · 26/12/2023 14:44

I just wondering about that long lost relative in deeoest darkest africa he an African prince ya no keeps saying he leaving me billions of pounds i only have to pay transfervfees and his rent for next year n for his hospital bills he fell out of a tree n nearly gpt strangled by his binoculars

NotMyFirstChoiceofName · 27/12/2023 10:51

maybejustonemoretime · 24/12/2023 23:21

@tallyio I'd strongly recommend the programme if you like a hate watch.

I think it's also relevant to point out that most people wouldn't lend money or remortgage their home to give to someone they actually have met or know well even a family member , especially if it involved talk of Russian gangsters and life or death medical bills.

The woman that gave £113,000 saying scammers target people are kind and caring, she didn't seem to acknowledge at all her own bat shit behaviour at all 🥴

I also found It odd that even after the scam was exposed the victims still refer to the scammer as if it was the actual imaginary person and they had turned out to be a bad un , using the fake name 'Michael is a twisted person and I hope he gets what he deserves'
No my love Michael does not exist and is in fact 5 men in a third world country possibly being forced to extort money against their will - you were not in a relationship that went bad.

Yes I found this odd too.

I guess it’s all too much to take in at one time. Maybe they have to go through the various stages of unpicking their fantasy. Eg

Michael is a real person who looks just like these photos and is a high ranking officer in the US army but he is scamming me for money

Michael is a real person who looks like these photos but he’s not the US army, he’s a model from Duluth.

Michael is a real person who doesn’t look like these photos and who lives in Ghana, and he probably needs the money to feed his kids.

Michael never existed, it’s a team of a organised criminals who have used my life savings to feed the multiple national drugs trade / human trafficking / their fleet of luxury cars.

BethDuttonsTwin · 27/12/2023 11:16

Edited to remove post on wrong thread!

CoatOfArms · 27/12/2023 11:26

I think it's harder for people to accept that they have been conned by more than one person, or a group all working together. Especially if they have been shring stuff which is very personal or intimate.

SamW98 · 27/12/2023 11:31

The maddest one I ever saw was a bloke who lived in a trailer park in a one horse town in the US who was convinced he was in an online relationship with Katy Perry and she was ready to leave Orlando Bloom to live in with Chuck from Ohio.

They even traced the girl behind the profile - it wasn’t for money she was just a catfish who thought it was funny. And even after they met face to face he still wouldn’t believe it. He told the host that this was Katys humour and she loved the fact she’d sent a friend along who was in on her joke

The hosts were literally screaming at him ‘ITS NOT KATY PERRY FFS’ and he just said ‘I know it is, that girl was playing along, Katy told me’

RedToothBrush · 27/12/2023 12:49

maybejustonemoretime · 24/12/2023 23:21

@tallyio I'd strongly recommend the programme if you like a hate watch.

I think it's also relevant to point out that most people wouldn't lend money or remortgage their home to give to someone they actually have met or know well even a family member , especially if it involved talk of Russian gangsters and life or death medical bills.

The woman that gave £113,000 saying scammers target people are kind and caring, she didn't seem to acknowledge at all her own bat shit behaviour at all 🥴

I also found It odd that even after the scam was exposed the victims still refer to the scammer as if it was the actual imaginary person and they had turned out to be a bad un , using the fake name 'Michael is a twisted person and I hope he gets what he deserves'
No my love Michael does not exist and is in fact 5 men in a third world country possibly being forced to extort money against their will - you were not in a relationship that went bad.

Doris from Wigan will give thousands to her 20 year old 'lover'. But won't give it to her 32 year old son with three kids who is struggling with the rent. Nope, instead she's asking him for a loan precisely so she can send it to her 'lover'.

It does get me with these 'selfless' narratives about the caring and kind being targeted is they aren't people who are actively going out volunteering or helping charities on a regular basis (if they were they wouldn't be as isolated and vulnerable in the same way) and they don't afford generosity to their family.

It's fascinating, and I really think I'd like to see more on the psychology on this. I get they want people to not be embarrassed and to report so saying they aren't stupid gives that exit but I also think it is counter productive in its own way and doesn't force people to examine their own actions and take responsibility either.

It also just lumps the costs onto everyone else who isn't this narcissistic nor daft.

SomeCatFromJapan · 27/12/2023 12:52

@RedToothBrush I mentioned earlier that I think it's closer to a gambling addiction than being a classic scam victim, but there's clearly a bit more to it than that as well. The claims are so ridiculous that there's clearly a level of collusion from the side of the scammed person, and some pretty robust denial as well.
I also find it fascinating.

There was one Catfished episode I did switch off though - it was clear that the woman had some learning difficulties and I felt uncomfortable even watching that one. She wasn't the usual profile, and it was upsetting.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/12/2023 13:19

Benby · 19/12/2023 10:42

Just watching this now and I totally agree. Also the elderly man who actually thinks a 30 year old nurse is falling for him, he just said he hoped she was going to be there in the studio to see him. I understand he is lonely but seriously 🤯

It was years ago now, but I’ll never forget the extremely unattractive elderly man (with awful teeth!) on TV, who had evidently deluded himself into believing that the pretty young Thai girl who he’d married, was genuinely in love with him!

I could not rid myself of the ghastly image of that poor girl in bed with him. 😱

IMO men are rather more likely than women to kid themselves that they’re desirable to far more attractive, much younger people.

Re non-romance scams, the worst case I know of was down to sheer naivete and trustingness. . An elderly neighbour (no dementia) was tricked into a ‘lottery’ scam (You’ve won £1M! - a lottery she hadn’t even entered! ) by ‘such a nice’ woman on the phone, who told her she worked for NatWest. It was all done by phone - she had no internet.

Neighbour lost over £100k in ‘payments for tax’ and refused utterly to believe she was being conned by heartless criminals. Her adult dcs finally put a stop to it - ‘trusted numbers only’ allowed to phone her.

GreenwichOrTwicks · 27/12/2023 13:45

This is greed tho -expecting to win a million for no effort…

TheYearOfSmallThings · 27/12/2023 13:45

I have to say the murder of Bennylyn Burke and her daughter gave a depressing insight into the marketplace that exists for attractive young women without money and unattractive and socially dysfunctional men who have some financial stability. It's an ugly situation fraught with risk.

Christmascountdownpanic · 27/12/2023 14:31

SomeCatFromJapan · 27/12/2023 12:52

@RedToothBrush I mentioned earlier that I think it's closer to a gambling addiction than being a classic scam victim, but there's clearly a bit more to it than that as well. The claims are so ridiculous that there's clearly a level of collusion from the side of the scammed person, and some pretty robust denial as well.
I also find it fascinating.

There was one Catfished episode I did switch off though - it was clear that the woman had some learning difficulties and I felt uncomfortable even watching that one. She wasn't the usual profile, and it was upsetting.

Some people are very vulnerable to catfish. It's awful, I've seen how upset they are when they find out the person isn't real and i using fake pictures etc.

The ones on the BBC programme just seen to ignore advice though. Told the facts and still don't listen.