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Original poster

To think some romance scam victims are simply stupid?

531 replies

TheAverageJoanne · 19/12/2023 10:38

At home today and have the TV on with For Love or Money about romance fraud. One victim is an international business development manager but gave £113000 to scammers, persuading her mother and sister to part with their savings

How far the love of Christ would you trust someone with a responsible job when they do this sort of thing and judgement flies out of the window?

I get there are people who are lonely and vulnerable but this one took me by total surprise. How could she have been so stupid? She received an email while waiting for him at the airport, showed it to airport staff who confirmed it was fake but still sent another £30000 to prevent airport staff at the other side from killing him. Jesus Christ.

OP posts:
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14
Tacotortoise · 20/12/2023 13:40

TheCadoganArms · 20/12/2023 13:36

I have been to The Gambia a few times and it is astonishing watching the middle aged European women being chaperoned around the place by young 20 something (and in fairness handsome) men. Obviously the golden ticket would be marriage and an EU passport but they all seemed to be sporting designer gear, latest phones etc

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Yes well sex tourism and exploitation - which is what this is - is a well known phenomenon.

user1497207191 · 20/12/2023 13:54

TheCadoganArms · 20/12/2023 13:36

I have been to The Gambia a few times and it is astonishing watching the middle aged European women being chaperoned around the place by young 20 something (and in fairness handsome) men. Obviously the golden ticket would be marriage and an EU passport but they all seemed to be sporting designer gear, latest phones etc

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To be honest, those "middle aged women" probably only went to The Gambia looking for "love"/sex in the first place. It's probably the most well known "holiday hotspot" for it. We went there about 30 years ago and there were an insane number of single middle aged (and older) women there on their own. Never seen the same number of "singles" anywhere else.

The "local" men are probably well off because of all the women they've scammed in the past!

TheCadoganArms · 20/12/2023 14:22

user1497207191 · 20/12/2023 13:54

To be honest, those "middle aged women" probably only went to The Gambia looking for "love"/sex in the first place. It's probably the most well known "holiday hotspot" for it. We went there about 30 years ago and there were an insane number of single middle aged (and older) women there on their own. Never seen the same number of "singles" anywhere else.

The "local" men are probably well off because of all the women they've scammed in the past!

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Chatting to the locals it seemed to be all sorts of arrangements going on, from someone just looking for company/sex/tour guide for the duration of their holiday through to others looking for more then just a transactional FWB type of thing. I imagine it was the latter group who got scammed.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 20/12/2023 15:52

I saw an article the other day about families affected by the new visa rules. One of them was a 47 year old English woman with bowel cancer and a 25 year old Turkish husband who has never been to the UK. I have to say, I wondered what she could be thinking.

GreenwichOrTwicks · 20/12/2023 15:54

Yants · 20/12/2023 11:10

I just don't understand how there seems to be so many people in the world who are of such low intelligence yet have so much wealth. How do they accumulate this much money in the first place??

This!!!!!

Christmascountdownpanic · 20/12/2023 17:49

SamW98 · 20/12/2023 11:27

Quite a few on the BBC show remortgage their houses out take out bank loans to send money back o people they’ve never met.

One woman lost 2 houses to 2 different scammers sending £150k to one and £100k to the other and now lives in a caravan. And yet she still told Kym Marsh she couldn’t promise not to send anymore money despite now not having a pot to piss in

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Saying that after being told she was being scammed and the person didn't really exist shows she is really stupid

twoblackdogs · 20/12/2023 17:52

I have always wondered how a supposedly sane woman can truly believe that this is really George Clooney himself who smiles at her from the photo and sincerely wants to marry her and only needs some money for the ticket because there's some trouble with his bank card.

SamW98 · 20/12/2023 17:53

Just watching on catch up now and there an 88 year old woman who thinks she’s in a relationship with a man in his 40’s who works in NZ.

Without being too harsh, why would a middle aged man be interested in a widow approaching 90?

Christmascountdownpanic · 20/12/2023 17:54

Older women going to the Gambia or Turkey and dating very young men isn't much different to the old blokes dating young women from the Philippines and Thailand etc. The old ones have money and the young ones want it and will use youth and bodies to get it.

verdantverdure · 20/12/2023 17:54

Millions of people still apparently want Brexit even though they were lied to and the "sunlit uplands no downside, just a considerable upside" Brexit doesn't exist

TheGander · 20/12/2023 18:04

@Goatymum that drama was absolutely devastating and I couldn’t watch to the end. I have an uncle who is gay, lives alone and not out to most people who know him. I like to think he wouldn’t fall for such a scam, but I’m not sure.

Friendfoe1 · 20/12/2023 18:16

Did anyone watch today’s episode? The woman threatened to chose her imaginary man over her own daughter 😡

SamW98 · 20/12/2023 18:27

I want to have sympathy but some of these stories are so ridiculous.

The 88 year old was told by the police that she was being scammed but she refused to believe it and sent him £36 grand. Even now she tells the presenters she thinks it’s 80% that he’s genuine - she even said she would put him before her family.
They’ve shown her 💯 proof he’s a scammer and she’s still refusing to block him and wants to carry to talking to him,

mum2monkeys88 · 20/12/2023 18:28

My mil did this recently. She's in her early 60s. She had met a man online who apparently was real as he sent photos lol 😆 Mil was off work sick and always complaining of having no money and told us she couldn't buy for the grandchildren this Christmas but had been sending £250 iTunes vouchers to this "man" luckily my bil saw their amazon account and asked her about it before she sent more money. I just can't think why anyone would give money to people they have never met

Friendfoe1 · 20/12/2023 18:34

SamW98 · 20/12/2023 18:27

I want to have sympathy but some of these stories are so ridiculous.

The 88 year old was told by the police that she was being scammed but she refused to believe it and sent him £36 grand. Even now she tells the presenters she thinks it’s 80% that he’s genuine - she even said she would put him before her family.
They’ve shown her 💯 proof he’s a scammer and she’s still refusing to block him and wants to carry to talking to him,

I felt sorry for her until she said she would choose him over her own family. It’s an awful thing to say.

Fieldofbrokenpromises · 20/12/2023 18:41

verdantverdure · 20/12/2023 17:54

Millions of people still apparently want Brexit even though they were lied to and the "sunlit uplands no downside, just a considerable upside" Brexit doesn't exist

Holy fuck is there no limit to the obsession some people have with fucking Brexit? Just recently there seems to be someone coming on to every thread to blame everything on Brexit, it's really weird.

Christmascountdownpanic · 20/12/2023 19:04

Fieldofbrokenpromises · 20/12/2023 18:41

Holy fuck is there no limit to the obsession some people have with fucking Brexit? Just recently there seems to be someone coming on to every thread to blame everything on Brexit, it's really weird.

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Sure is weird. One track mind. Odd behaviour.

ScarlettRosemary · 20/12/2023 19:34

The worse one I saw was not so much the amount of money still 30k but that she had said to her daughter don't ask me to choose between the two of you as you won't like the answer! Nice! A man she has never met! I saw one lady give away 430k OMG...... these scams have been going around for years and many programmes such as this on the TV warning people....you would think people would have cottoned on by now! These people are pure evil who exploit the lonely and vulnerable.

Goatymum · 20/12/2023 19:52

TheGander · 20/12/2023 18:04

@Goatymum that drama was absolutely devastating and I couldn’t watch to the end. I have an uncle who is gay, lives alone and not out to most people who know him. I like to think he wouldn’t fall for such a scam, but I’m not sure.

It really was a heartbreaking case.

MayThe4th · 20/12/2023 20:16

Perhaps there is an arguMent to be had in terms of whether some of these women to be deemed to not have capacity.

I mean it's one thing to initially fall for these scams, still stupid but whatever, but after they're confronted with the evidence maybe they need to be blacklisted somehow, blocks put on their accounts to prevent them making bank transfers, their credit record being amended to prevent them getting into debt.

I have limited sympathy for the ones who are stupid enough to fall for these scams in the first place, I have 0 sympathy for e.g. the 88 year old this morning, and I absolutely think she should be prevented from making any more transfers. If she's going to behave like a stupid child, then she needs to be treated like one.

Ladymeade · 20/12/2023 20:21

I saw this too (yesterday's programme with the woman scammed out of 113k)! Her bank tried to stop her making one of the payments as they suspected fraud/a scam and she admitted that she lied to ensure that she reassured them sufficiently to make the payment to "Bario" I kept thinking "how can you be so stupid?!"

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 20/12/2023 20:27

I've had a romance scammer contact me on Mumsnet! Obviously thinks I'm a single mum sad case. Telling me how he's successful and wealthy and just wants to meet someone to share it with as children are the best things in the world. And he was amazed at my elegant and intelligent posts and wanted to find out more about me
😂Obviously I ignored but they're here too!

MrsOvertonsWindow · 20/12/2023 20:28

Why do these women in the series choose to lie to their bank, the police and their families when told it's a scam? What's happening in their heads that they look at a police officer and think, "nope I'm going to believe this man I've never met asking for tens of thousands of £££ over you warning me I'm being scammed".
Psychologically what has happened to them that they dismiss the most serious of warnings?

Sheerdetermination · 20/12/2023 20:40

SatanClaws · 19/12/2023 10:47

Loneliness does strange things to people. Mainly chips away at their self esteem to such an extent they will do anything to keep someone who shows them any level of interest in their lives.

I think this is spot on.

Rattatoille · 20/12/2023 20:53

Has anyone heard of Mark Acklom?
Blinkin' 'eck, he romance frauded a woman out of over £800k, but was only convicted of £300k worth of fraud, due to the way police deal with logging fraud cases. He showed this woman around a commercial airport in the UK and told her all the aircraft there belonged to his company and she believed him. When all his deceit came to light, it turned out he had persuaded the Leeds Building Society into giving him a £400k mortgage while he was still a teenager in the '90's, he told them he was a stockbroker and they believed him ! He must have had such an arrogant swagger !