to want to keep my DC away from their cousin

[bigbumhole]

because the language is foul and im worried it'll brush off on my DC (24 months old) and 6 weeks old (not a problem yet!).

He says the most horrid words that makes my skin crawl. He is 23 month old most recent phrases are.....

"fuck off idiot"
"you're a bastard"
"i hate you prick"
"fuck off, MINE!"
....i could go on but i'll spare you.

There's 3 weeks between my DC and him. We've spoken to the parents but they seem to think it's not that much of a problem and their response is often "we've been trying to stop the bad language but what can you do eh? Kids nower days, who'd have em?" in a light hearted, almost giggly, manner.

The language makes me sick, and it leaves me heartbroken almost to hear such foulness coming out of such a young child. I would be truley horrified if my DC started using such filth.

We see them every Saturday morning up MILs so we cant really avoid them as Saturday morning is the only time MIL is free to see her grandchildren.

Sorry not sure what i'm after but im just so upset and feel like im stuck in a hole.

How revolting! I'm assuming the child has picked up this language fromt he parents - I mean, where else would he pick it up? A creche/nursery would undoubtedly correct him??

I would refuse to visit them again and if they ask why tell them the truth!

I'm wondering why it hasn't been brought up in a serious way with the parents. I'm assuming the parents are your dh's brother or sister, so could he not speak to them and tell him your concerns? (though I know it's sometimes easier said than done where family are concerned!)

i agree with tinylady. try to tackle the problem. if being nice doesn't fix it then you can walk away knowing you've tried.

So, is anyone going to pick up on Boobalina's nickname -- surely as offensive as Bigbumhole??? Sorry Boobalina, only making a point about the validaity of nicknames here and not aimed at you (or BBH at all).

In answer to the opening post, I think it is truly horrible that a 23 mo has picked up language like that. It can only be from his parents. Several years ago, a 5 yo girl I know got expelled from school for calling her headmistress a 'fucking cunt' and a 'fuck wit' . The only place she got this from was from her parents, who unfortunately used these, ahem, charming words when speaking to each other.

The fact is, children are like sponges and what they see as day-to-day life they assume is reasonable (normal) behaviour -- why would they think any different?

In answer to the OP's original question, I personally would make it clear to the cousin's parents that I did not see it as some silly joke and I would, regrettably, prefer my DC not to spend time with their DS until his language improved.

Best of luck Bigbumhole.

Love the name, btw!!

Gawd, just read I answered at least twice to the OP's post -- blame it on the vino!![hiccup!]

BBH, you're not going to be able to stop your children ever hearing swearwords, unless you isolate them from the rest of the world. Quite a lot of small children will pick up an expletive or two from a random stranger on the bus, or even from their own dreadful wicked uncaring parent who has trodden hard on a discarded lego brick and said 'sh*t!'. Teaching your own DC about what language should not be used in company is your job: scapegoating their cousin for something he will probably grow out of soon enough is not.

Their cousin, at 23 months should not know such words-he can only be following his parent's extremely bad example. I feel very sorry for him because it is not his fault. However I don't think you can let your DCs think that the language is acceptable. You need to tackle his parents. Your MIL should refuse to have such language in her home.