to want to keep my DC away from their cousin

[bigbumhole]

because the language is foul and im worried it'll brush off on my DC (24 months old) and 6 weeks old (not a problem yet!).

He says the most horrid words that makes my skin crawl. He is 23 month old most recent phrases are.....

"fuck off idiot"
"you're a bastard"
"i hate you prick"
"fuck off, MINE!"
....i could go on but i'll spare you.

There's 3 weeks between my DC and him. We've spoken to the parents but they seem to think it's not that much of a problem and their response is often "we've been trying to stop the bad language but what can you do eh? Kids nower days, who'd have em?" in a light hearted, almost giggly, manner.

The language makes me sick, and it leaves me heartbroken almost to hear such foulness coming out of such a young child. I would be truley horrified if my DC started using such filth.

We see them every Saturday morning up MILs so we cant really avoid them as Saturday morning is the only time MIL is free to see her grandchildren.

Sorry not sure what i'm after but im just so upset and feel like im stuck in a hole.

How does that change anything? You - Hercules - wouldnt say it was judgemental to think that way about the OP in light of her nickname. Whats the difference? I quoted your entire post - the meaning is still the same.

also private schools only have the best pupils. often you will only get into a private school sixth form if you got straight As at GCSE. therefore a higher proportion of students at a private sixth form would stand a chance of getting in at oxbridge than those at a normal sixth form college which normally just asks for 5 A*-C grades at GCSE.

oops wrong thread.

Cant keep on explaining myself. For the last time, I said I wasnot being judgemental. I commented as it was ironic. If I were being judgemental then I would have thought she was someone who swore at her kids all the time so therefore I was not being judgemental in that sense.

Stop misquoting me. I said I wasnt being judgemental!

Of course it would be judgemental to think that. But as I said I wasnt being judgemental in that sense. sigh

well if you'd said you were commenting on the irony in the first place sheeeeeeeeeesh

I think you'll find I said that at the start!!!

ALMummy - i agree. I find it truly astonishing how a certain poster can build such an enormous picture of my lifestyle and the way i raise my DC going on one username alone.

PellMell - thanks for the apology.

And for the record, i am appalled at young children swearing, i do not swear at my own children (ever) and i would be horrified if they ever did. I'm a Christian, i attend church every Sunday, i have long hair, i'm 5 foot 5, i drive a blue car which rattles when its in 4th gear and i don't like marshmallows. There. A true picture of my life for all those who seem to be so desperate to do so on my behalf.

BBH - I think it is vile that a child of that age should hear words like that let alone use them. I certainly wouldn't let my DS near an adult using that type of language so same goes for a child.

I would do as others have suggested and invite MIL for a meal at your house. I would gently explain how you feel to her and at least she can make allowances to try and see your DS at different times from your delightful nephew and his even more delightful parents.

FWIW - I totally agree with Nappyaddicts post. Does BigBumHole really scream sweary, filthy mouthed mother to you or mother trying to find vaguely inoffensive words?? How many of you say "Oh Bum" instead of "Oh Shit" in front of your DCs? Seriously, has detracted attention away from the OPs problem which is a bit pathetic.

um in effect ostracising DC from his family seems awfully harsh for an innocent 23 month old.

I am NOT misquoting your Hercules. I have quoted your thread in its entirety and thats the meaning I get from it. Maybe you meant something different and if you did fair enough. I have no interest in misquoting you. I found you very judgemental and said so - thats all.

I would agree with you if that's what I'd said too.

no i meant when you were explaining the quote!!

Oh and for the record, i don't have a large anus, nor is it hairy

bigbumhole.

Bet you didn't bargain for this when you started this thread!

oh Hercules, I wasn't digging at you, I understood loud and clear that you had not participated in those threads, I just wasn't aware that there had been any like that and thought it was a bit funny.

I have to say though, most people's post names are a joke, surely? Otherwise we should be calling social services about quite a few and I'm sure that isn't really necessary.

TurkeyLurkey - i wish i'd kept my mouth shut now!

But to be honest, i really don't think bum is classed as a vile, foul swear word these days, c'mon guys! Even my DC uses the word "bum". I thought "rounded portions of the anatomy located on the posterior of the pelvic region" would be a bit much for 24 month old to grasp so i just stuck with "bum" after long consideration.

Gerogiemama - i 2nd that, i thought that most usernames are picked in at least a slight light hearted manner.

Totalchaos maybe it is harsh but thats the poor childs parents problem to deal with. op has has a priority to protect her child.

Alsmummy I have just read this thread and you have got totally the wrong end of the stick regarding hercules' meaning. She meant the opposite of what you seem to think she meant.

BBH why is Sat am the only grandchildren slot for MIL. You have not elaborated on this.

Have approached the childs parents on this?
I think it is important to try to rectify things before deciding on an all out boycott esp where family are concerned as cousins can play an important role in each others lives.
The child is very young- don't consign him to the rubbish heap.
Offer some friendly advice to the parents- they will be ashamed of the swearing as it is their fault of course
Is this possible in your family dynamic?

I think your MIL does have a responsibilty here as it is her grandchild and she should ask her child - the mum or dad of said swearing toddler to sort it out! Or are they all a big swearing family? Some are and think nothing of it. Ultimately, I feel really sorry for the swearing kid. He really doesnt have an idea of what he's saying apart from it is said when people are cross and he's showing is cross about stuff (not written that terribly well, but I have not had much adult company today). We try very hard not to use swear words in front of our children, but the occasional bloody hell slips out. My 3 old knows somehting is wrong if I say bloody hell! The worse thing he says if he's really angry is that I am a stupid crooked old lady (hmm). I deal with this by acting really hurt and very shocked (thinky really hammy Neighbours style acting) and he immediately apologises. I then go and snigger into the cupboard so he cant see me!
But as the kids auntie, you should say to little tinker that that lan guage is naughty and not nice. Just do it and I'm sure MIL and maybe the parents may start to get it?

I can only assume the parents are using this type of language constantly or laughing when they hear their Son do so which may spur it on. I really feel so sorry for the poor child - what kind of chance does he have? what example? Don't visit them if you feel it may rub off on your DC by all means but the child has done nothing wrong it is not his fault. Poor thing

Oh, I agree Crushwitheyeliner!!

Totally, be the poor little fella's amazing aunty and save him from sounding like a builder / mobster by the time he's 3!m