I found out in June that my husband cheated on me; sex with 5 different women multiple times and women over social media. He spent thousands of dollars on sex sites and sending women money for “content,” or “have a nice lunch.” All the while complaining whenever I asked to be taken on a date. He had sex with one woman while we were married and the other times were while I was pregnant with our son and dating. Mind you he did this unprotected so he put me and baby at risk. I found out by finally getting into his computer and saw he had been taking pictures and videos of what he was doing. It was quite traumatizing and I get invasive images in my head still. Now going to therapy which is helping. I’ve asked him to go to therapy and he keeps saying he will but it’s been a month since he promised. He promised to stop smoking cigarettes and he’s still doing that. A couple weeks ago I found out he reached out to a woman that he had a sexual past with. We go to counseling through our church and I feel like they are just validating him saying he’s “trying” and that I need to be more forgiving. This man verbally abused me throughout the years of him cheating behind my back and I’m having a hard time getting past all that.
I love him and he can be kind and caring but there is also this side of him that really sucks and is abusive. I keep putting my foot down on boundaries and gave him a list of all the things I want if we are to move forward and he has not upheld the list and keeps disrespecting my boundaries.
So I’m asking AIBU for giving him 6 months to get his crap together and now that the 6 months is up I want to divorce him? Should I give him more time?
I found out I was pregnant days after I found out he had been cheating so it’s just another complexity.