To ask what your lightbulb 💡 epiphany moment was?

[DelusionalBrilliance]

In regards to anything, as long as it was big or life changing! A moment where something suddenly hit you and made a realisation, something that forced you to make changes or think about it differently?

Today I got talking with a few friends and they had all had at least one of these moments and it dawned on me I’d never actually had a life changing thunder clap of a moment where something clicked, either I’m boring or dead inside I think.

YANBU - I’ve never had one either
YABU - I’ve had them / several

If you made the change a year ago and I make the same change today, you will always have 365 days more of it - makes sense to me.

@GreenwichOrTwicks So true, literally everything that goes on in school and in a child's life relating to school, gets dumped on teachers, but that makes the job far too broad for any one person to be good at it. And it makes the workloads too high. It's such a mess and could so easily be sorted out with some "outside the box" thinking

This is so true. I got out of teaching because I absolutely coukd not cope with everything being my fault or my responsibility.

I suppose that was another light bulb moment!

Realising that an awful lot of senior people are muddling through, that I know a lot more than I think I do, and I'm valued at work. Took me till my mid 50s. I'm in a very senior well paid role.

Imposter syndrome, it's a real thing.

Love this thread.
My very recent lightbulb moment was arranging a meet up with a very good old friend a while ago for our families to have a pre-Christmas meet up. It was important to me as our husbands had a small falling out. Last week she sent me a text to say that some friends had changed their party date and that she was now double-booked She wanted to move us so she could go.
The lightbulb moment was realising that I wasn’t going to accept being second option. If that’s the choice she’s made then I’ll leave her to it.
Doesn’t stop me from feeling hurt by her choice though.

Lightbulb at Uni… I can use a towel more than once before putting it in the wash.

Lightbulb as an adult… I don’t have to wash my hair every day. Or even every other day.

When I was in my early 30's I was at rock bottom , failed adventure working abroad and back living my parents in a dead end job that teenagers could do better than me at.
I felt pretty miserable and probably was depressed.
For some reason I woke up one morning and just couldn't go into work. I phoned in sick and took myself for a walk.
I realised that whatever chances I took from there on in, I couldn't end up much worse. I had friends and my health as a base and I could work from there.
I enrolled in a college course after work twice a week, and properly looked into university as a mature student ..something I thought beyond me due to going to a terrible school, and that it would take too long.
Well, two years at college and 3 years at university gave me the best time of my life, and although I'm not changing the world I am doing a job I'm proud of in H.E. that requires skills and experience.
I basically got my pride back and that helped me stand on my own two feet, find a relationship and become the adult that I wasn't.

Re university taking too long.... when I was 40 I decided to retrain as a solicitor. I knew I would not qualify until I was 46 or so but reasoned I was going to be 46 at some point anyway- why not go for it? So i did. I ended up working as a solicitor for a few years but now have managed to leverage it into different roles that which I like a very great deal more than working as a solicitor.

I think that what helped was the example from my mother. She trained as a nurse - was basically forced into it by a very forceful mother who picked out what careers her children would have. She always wanted to be a teacher but from my earliest memories (so when she would have been about 30) kept saying she was 'too old' . She retired as a nurse after hating it her whole entire life. I thought she could have retrained and had 30 years in a role she might have liked.

Sorry- a bit of a seque but what you said about deciding to go to uni even if it took a while made me think of it. I think your story is absolutely marvellous.

In my early 20s I realised I didn't believe in God. What a relief! A few years later also realised it's OK to tell that to my mother. She may not like it (in fact, she still pretends the conversation didn't happen) but the world is not going to end.
ETA:
The PP also prompted me to think of another occasion when I woke up one morning in my mid 30s and decided to go to uni. Changed my life.

@DelusionalBrilliance Just wanted to say brilliant thread.

One light bulb moment benefited my son he was 26 had worked solidly since university but was so unhappy had moved back home to a local job. As we sat at the kitchen table I said are you okay. He broke down saying no. So I said right what do you want he admitted he wanted to work abroad. I said go for it. With my heart in my mouth.

He then went for it had a telephone interview which lasted 45 minutes mama pacing up and down. Got the job and was on a plane to the Caribbean. Spent six years there working for an amazing American company. He learnt so much that when he came home set up his own company in our dining room to start with Met a girl, bought a house, married, two kids, and they are so happy.

I missed him so much when he lived abroad but as they say hold them close with open arms 💙

When I got home from work for about the umpteenth time to see my lazy husband of 4 years sitting in his boxers playing PlayStation with an already 5 empty beer cans around him by 5pm when there was plenty of housework to be done (but he was waiting for me to ask him to help me with it) before I would start cooking dinner for us like I did every night....I realised then that I couldn't be in a relationship like this for a second longer. I wish nothing bad against him as he wasn't a nasty person, but my God it was like being married to a teenager...

@Nightowl1234, @cerisepanther73,

There's leaving and there's fleeing.

When you leave, you might have planned it in advance and put things in place.

When fleeing, most leave with just the shirt on their back with nowhere to go nor headspace/capacity to contact social services.

If someone flees their abuser, being asked if they also did xyz wouldn't always be well received.

Realising that god and religion are a social construct, and that while everyone in the church knew I was married to an abuser no one did anything about it, nor supported me after I managed to get away from him. I didn’t need their - or god’s - permission. I made my own way since and have been much more at peace.

Being told I had cancer. The call stood at work with a 1 year old at home. Fortunately it all turned out ok in the end as the tumour was benign but for those weeks/months when it was all unknown, it’s just the worst. Many others won’t get good news and it terrifies me that I will waste days not doing what I love. Very shortly after we moved to live near my family and I changed jobs. Life is too short.

I often think about an episode of Emmerdale in which a character had terminal cancer, she said “…everyone should be told they have cancer”. It sounds brutal but in so many ways it’s true because that’s really when you start living.

mm - maybe think a bit of an over-reaction - a party can't be moved for her, but a small arrangement could be, maybe without causing either party to the summit too much inconvenience. Not as if she was dumping you/trying to arrange for next summer?

Good on you!
I can relate to this.
extricating myself from a religious community has seen the start of me building real friendships and cultivating true peace.

All you need to do to peel garlic is rub it between your hands

@FlipFlop1987 I do have cancer, and it does make you reassess quite markedly
They have so many more treatments now that I’m hoping I’ll have it for a while (rather than dying of it).

I think I take after my Gran, and always assumed I’d live as long as her - very unlikely now.

i think in a way having cancer has enriched my life - I don’t take it for granted anymore and I’m aware of how many people love me

Maybe an overreaction but my threshold is low, I’m very tired this time of year and life can get busy and i see my time as valuable too. Always good to get a different perspective though.

Realising - I don't need to do things the way my parents did or my in-laws do. I don't have to cook how they do, or bring up my children how they did, I can and do things that are best for me and my family. Absolutely a lightbulb moment as I was always subconsciously seeking their approval, not sure why, and now the parents are on board and don't give me advice of how to do something 'better'. It's good enough.

I realised at 39 that I didnt have to stay working in social services when it was burning me out and I was facing yet another round of funding cuts meaning that I had to reapply for my job and agree to take on double the workload before id be considered for my own position. I was advised that it was just a formality and blah blah but I had my first adult tantrum and thought "fuck that, and fuck this, im not living like this year on year"

I quit with absolutely no plan bar phoning up a business that I was a good customer of through my hobby, and asking for work. Fortunately, they were doing really well and expanding.
Left my flat in Scotland and went to London for an unpaid months trial, been there ever since and now in a great position doing something I love on an infinitely better wage.

I love this verv well done to you.

yes, my mum reprimands me when my teens swear. Just mild swear words. I realised looking at her cats bum disapproval face one day my values are different from yours

My Mum and DH had a barny recently- good naturedish - and I happily sat by. Not so much an epiphany but a certainty that I am not responsible for anyone’s else’s feelings or actions- no one else’s behaviour reflects on me. Many parents never realise that, my lovely mum still doesn’t think so, she genuinely thinks she should control me, that her friends will judge her if I do something she disapproves of 🤯