To ask what your lightbulb 💡 epiphany moment was?

[DelusionalBrilliance]

In regards to anything, as long as it was big or life changing! A moment where something suddenly hit you and made a realisation, something that forced you to make changes or think about it differently?

Today I got talking with a few friends and they had all had at least one of these moments and it dawned on me I’d never actually had a life changing thunder clap of a moment where something clicked, either I’m boring or dead inside I think.

YANBU - I’ve never had one either
YABU - I’ve had them / several

That when all is said and done the only person you can really trust is yourself, make your own decisions and be as independent as possible

Mine was, experiencing bullying in the workplace and a totally calling them out on it. Makes it slightly more awkward for a few days but I don't need more friends anyway!

I do need more friends but I still agree, if you politely let people know you won't bend with the wind, it may be more awkward for a few weeks but if you see people every day it gets forgotten. If you don't speak up for yrslf they may not remember why but have categorised you as beneath them and treat you accordingly for much longer that the few weeks it was awkward when you said "ouch" or "are you ok"

Me too (Catholic upbringing) my lightbulb moment was when, as a kid, I found out it was just a bunch of men over a long period of time that wrote the bible. Up until then I thought it was actually god in his study writing it 😁 Critical thinking started to form from that day.

@leesylou definitely it's a hideous job for family to deal with.

I intend to sell my jewelry and value items to buy a camper van, I might as well enjoy the money. I sold my valuable vinyl record collection which paid a niece through uni, the music is on YouTube now.

I kept reading about 'swedish death clean' and started right away, I am in my 60's so as each year passes I am getting rid of stuff I don't use. None of it will be useful to younger generation.

I am dreading my parents huge house crammed to the gills not quite hoarding but not far off it. House clearance only take what they can sell so I will be filling skips for months.

That my sister is a covert narcissist who has abused me for over 30 years. So I stopped speaking to her completely and I feel like I can think clearly for the first time in my life and I feel so much happier! I'd put up with it because I didn’t want anyone else’s feelings hurt but suddenly realised that I matter too!!

That I didn’t need to be in a relationship! When my second marriage broke up, I ended up in therapy, and I realised that I’d been in a series of abusive / unhealthy relationships from the age of 15. I also sadly realised the damage I’d done dragging my dc through them with me. I’m now ten years single and happier than I’ve ever been! I would consider dating if someone interesting came along, but my life doesn’t need a man to compete it.

Lightbulb moment.
Holding my newborn DS, looking into his eyes. Listening to the same old vile poison down the phone from my Dad. Interrupted his monologue to say goodbye, ended the call, forever. I can stop that poison flowing down the generations.

That is simply wonderful, @YachtMistress . I hope your experience of bringing up your son has been and will be joyous (apart from the sick and the incessant questions etc etc) xxx

I read a quote by an author that said you will never have more time than you do right now. In whatever stage of life you are in you will always feel you are busy and will always fill up your time and believe that in some unamed future you will have more time to do the thing you really want but unless you make the time you never will.

Who was that? Not someone that clever really. I have so little time at this stage of my life, little time or energy to do anything much but work then collapse when I get home and keep the house at a minimum level of cleanliness. The garden is out of control. I fully expect that when I retire (hoping to do that early) that I will have PLENTY of time compared to what I have now!. I know this because I speak to retired friends and they are having a brilliant time. Precisely because they DO have time to do the nice things in life.

I read it as time on the planet? As in life is getting shorter as you age? Maybe wrong!

Yeah, similarly, you’ll never again be as young as you are today.

This was just my enlightened moment! Thank you! 😊

2 year ago when my mother kicked off screaming and shouting at my door threatening to report me to social services for no reason on top of other nasty things you should never say to your child because I asked her to stay away from my house.. I realised I was a disappointment for not bowing down to her. I've been no contact ever since.

Wow. Thank you. I needed to hear that!

Learning thats its ok to be shy and to admit it. Its not something to be ashamed of. Introverts rule the world underneath all the bluff and bluster.

That is a load of bollocks.

Why is it a ‘load of bollocks’? I think it is a fair point - make time now to do the things you enjoy.

One of mine was when I was teaching. I seemed to only enjoy the bits of teaching that other teachers hated, like planning, marking, data analysis etc. I loved my subject but I hated the actual being in the classroom because I suffered with really bad performance anxiety when standing up in front of 30 kids. I was told that everyone was nervous at first but I'd get over it, but I never did, and it was gradually getting worse to the point that I was wanting to be physically sick.

I was listening to an interview with an actress (can't remember who) on the way into work one morning, and the interviewer asked the actress why she was 60 before she won her first award. She replied that she'd left acting and only came back into it fairly late in life after being at the doctor's to get more anti-depressants. The doctor told her that if she didn't go back into acting she'd be on anti-depressants for the rest of her life. And in one fell swoop, it dawned on me: I was miserable because I was in completely the wrong job for my personality & skill set.

I'm now a data scientist, loving it and actually being sought out for promotions for the first time in my life. Much, much happier.

@Lyxou I really wish the broken education system could be remodelled to make best use of people’s skills. At the moment teaches are expected to do everything but would c make c much more sesame to employee people for specific jobs. I love planing lessons and being in the classroom. Would c love to have a complementary person do the marking and data and another to do the form tutor/duties/ trips organising as they are entirely different school set, but schools management is so poor that there is no imagination to do that. I would happily teach every period if I could be freed just to plan and teach!!

Giving up smoking 20 years ago. I remember a friend saying to me 'you know you have to give up one day, the only question is when?'.

I realised it was true, I absolutely needed to give up. Decided on the spot to get on with it and gave up that very day. Never looked back.

Since then I tend to take the view that if it's necessary to do something difficult it's probably better to get on with it and then be 3 months down the line, rather than dragging it on for ages and still have it to face. Not sure if this makes sense but it was like an epiphany for me.

@determinedtomakethiswork so true, single parent to a 20 year old student living at home and she is no work now, a pleasure to live with her, i work a short walk away.
Ten years ago I had two kids at home and i worked a bus ride away. Its OK to put things on the long finger when your kids are young. Because you do have more time when they don't need you!

There’s another thought that I like. When you say you’ll do something eventually - why can’t eventually be now?

I feel this might be from a Maeve Binchy book but it really resonates. Like with stopping smoking etc - why not now?