Page 5 | Worried about DH

lanterncat · 2023-12-15T21:20:53+00:00

DH had a work Christmas do that started at 2pm today, just lunch and a few drinks in a pub. He said he wasn't expecting it to last all day. It's after 9pm now and he's still not home. He's not the type to go out really, he's an introvert and prefers to be home. I've sent him whatsapp messages asking if he's OK and it's stuck one one tick. Sent a text too and I called him and his phone just beeps, no answer. I'm getting a bit worried. AIBU to start ringing hospitals?

daisychain01 · 16/12/2023 09:02

PrimaniTu · 15/12/2023 21:44

I crack up at these grown men on MN going out at Christmas having a curfew. There was another one last week when the dh had to be home by 11.

They're adults not 12 year olds.

Well you wouldn't think they're adults, judging by the way they are described on here

forget their phone
only have 1 min of battery power left when they go on a night out
dont keep in touch
end up in a cell for drunk driving
end up crashed out on some random mates sofa because they drink 9 pints on an empty stomach
got on the lash knowing they are due to be on a planned day out with their kids the following day.
promise to be home by midnight and 4am no sign...I mean the list goes on!

This is the description of a Grown adult man, go figure!!

OhwhyOY · 16/12/2023 09:03

I have to confess I've also been known to catastrophise. You may know logically they'll be fine but there's always the what if that they're not and that you are just ignoring them in their time of need, bleeding to death somewhere. Hope DH got back OK @lanterncat .

Kittylala · 16/12/2023 09:10

If I told my dh to be home for 11pm, he's absolutely going to stay out till 3am!

berksandbeyond · 16/12/2023 09:28

OP hasn’t come back, presumably because her grown ass husband came home before 10pm, and wasn’t dead, maimed or in jail… Just out with work mates.

greencheetah · 16/12/2023 09:36

Every Christmas there’s loads of these threads.

Don’t worry about him OP, most of these “missing” DHs are just coked up, or balls deep in a colleague…

diddl · 16/12/2023 10:05

Did he give any indication of what time he'd be home?

I've had a 6hr lunch before & that was just me & a mate!

Justfinking · 16/12/2023 10:24

9pm. Your poor DH, just relax and let him have a good time ffs. Worry if he's not home by 4.30 AM

Rainbowx90 · 16/12/2023 10:41

greencheetah · 16/12/2023 09:36

Every Christmas there’s loads of these threads.

Don’t worry about him OP, most of these “missing” DHs are just coked up, or balls deep in a colleague…

Ffs you said what I was thinking 😅🤣🤣

SarahShorty · 16/12/2023 10:49

I don't think him not having a good time is what is worrying OP. OP's DH not having the sense to keep a charged phone (or actually keep his phone on him) or getting too pissed to be able to answer a call or a text is some of the childish asinine shit that's worrying her, if any of the responses here are anything to go by.

Let your man have a good time, but don't post about your worrying about his welfare on here, seemingly. If my DH staggered home at 4am after getting sozzled with his crusty work mates, I'm clearly married to a man with the mentality of spotty-faced teenaged boy who doesn't have the guts to admit he wants to be married to a woman equally as shitty as he is. Fuck me he might aswell shag another woman and lay the groundwork for a divorce for all I care.

Standards are gone.

I hope your DH came home safe and well, and not too drunk or stinking of anything, OP.

Allthatwegotisthispalebluedot · 16/12/2023 11:10

My husband is very considerate and would probably text me if he was staying out much later than planned. But if he didn’t I wouldn’t start ringing the hospitals by 9:45pm! Bloody hell! I would do that if he hadn’t turned up by 9:45pm the next day, not that evening.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 16/12/2023 11:26

@lanterncat Did he arrive home safely in the end?

AnneValentine · 16/12/2023 11:36

PrimaniTu · 15/12/2023 21:44

I crack up at these grown men on MN going out at Christmas having a curfew. There was another one last week when the dh had to be home by 11.

They're adults not 12 year olds.

Estimated time home leading to worry is not a curfew. Give over.

RampantIvy · 16/12/2023 11:38

Estimated time home leading to worry is not a curfew. Give over.

Well said.

daisychain01 · 16/12/2023 12:00

I wonder how many threads get posted up on Pistonheads and TopGear .com where women disappear on the piss and their DH is worried about their whereabouts and safety.

[Hint: none]

daisychain01 · 16/12/2023 12:03

AnneValentine · 16/12/2023 11:36

Estimated time home leading to worry is not a curfew. Give over.

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and the attitudes of women who tolerate all that shit and that men should be let off the hook for their juvenile behaviour "because they're adults " perpetuates and legitimises the behaviour in the first place.

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 16/12/2023 12:43

daisychain01 · 16/12/2023 12:03

and the attitudes of women who tolerate all that shit and that men should be let off the hook for their juvenile behaviour "because they're adults " perpetuates and legitimises the behaviour in the first place.

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I think it is also worth noting that there are very different relationships with the case of men going out for much longer than they anticipated and therefore very different responses to the many ‘man goes missing for hours’ threads.

There are the ones you’ve mentioned, women who tolerate men going out drinking themselves silly, getting arrested, throwing up, peeing in the bedroom, risking their jobs, waking everyone up, being useless the next day and essentially opting out of parenting for an entire weekend.

Then there are women whose husbands will be having a great time talking to their friends for hours and hours, drinking slowly over that period of time, watching whatever sport is on the screen, eating a meal when they realise how hungry they are, come home quietly without waking the house and continue to be good husbands and fathers the following day.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 16/12/2023 12:56

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 16/12/2023 12:43

I think it is also worth noting that there are very different relationships with the case of men going out for much longer than they anticipated and therefore very different responses to the many ‘man goes missing for hours’ threads.

There are the ones you’ve mentioned, women who tolerate men going out drinking themselves silly, getting arrested, throwing up, peeing in the bedroom, risking their jobs, waking everyone up, being useless the next day and essentially opting out of parenting for an entire weekend.

Then there are women whose husbands will be having a great time talking to their friends for hours and hours, drinking slowly over that period of time, watching whatever sport is on the screen, eating a meal when they realise how hungry they are, come home quietly without waking the house and continue to be good husbands and fathers the following day.

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That distinction is really, really important. My husband is one of the most hands on, responsible parents, hard working, caring and unselfish men you're likely to meet. I have however never expected him to clock in with me the way some posters on here expect. Because you know he's also a grown up with a life.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 17/12/2023 16:55

I hope your DH came home safe and well, and not too drunk or stinking of anything, OP.

OP has posted on this site after this post, so assume her DH was home by about 10pm