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Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
Maireas · 14/12/2023 21:58

Shakeylegs · 14/12/2023 21:56

How on earth is it a ‘once in a lifetime’ chance? She could literally go at any other time in her life.

Cross post! Exactly. You'd think it was some fascinating trip to somewhere culturally enriching that she would never be able to go to again!

TommyNever · 14/12/2023 21:58

Depends very much on what she's like academically. Some students will find it easy to catch up, some will find it very daunting. If she normally finds the school workload easy and routinely does well, it shouldn't be much of a problem.

Zanatdy · 14/12/2023 21:58

no, not GCSE year

KickHimInTheCrotch · 14/12/2023 21:59

I went to Disney in florida at about that age and it really wasn't a "trip of a lifetime". It was OK but it was too hot and really commercial. My kids wouldn't be missing 3 weeks of year 11 for something like that.

AuntMarch · 14/12/2023 21:59

If she were in year 8 then I'd be torn, but that's the first half of the first 1/2 term. It would be a massive task to get on top of all the missed information and make up the lost coursework time on top... I don't think I'd manage it without burning out or getting really stressed about it.

Your ex SIL has done you over here by telling her first. What an arsehole she is!

Fionaville · 14/12/2023 22:00

YANBU I would 100% let her go.

atthecoreofallyoudo · 14/12/2023 22:00

Not a chance would I have let any of my DC go and miss three weeks of school.

As for missing three weeks of school for Disneyland... I can't believe there are people who would actually consider this.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 14/12/2023 22:00

We only live once and she will remember that trip to Florida for a lifetime. Will she remember anything about that 3 weeks of school?

Yes, I'm sure she'll be glad to be remembering Mickey Mouse instead of Shakespeare when she's sitting in the school hall for her exams...

Delatron · 14/12/2023 22:01

Yeah I think you’re over egging Disney Land. And I’m sure lots of parents could only afford this if they went in term time. Only they don’t. Especially at 14/15. She definitely doesn’t need to spend 3 weeks there!

Think we did about a week and I’d had enough. I think at 14 she may be getting a bit old for it anyway. It’s not a once in a lifetime opportunity at all.

pleasehelpwi3 · 14/12/2023 22:02

Three weeks in Florida? She'll be begging to come back after half that time....
I thought you were going to say something like an overland trip to Australia, or the Cape to Cairo. Not THREE weeks at Disney!

AuntMarch · 14/12/2023 22:03

Mittens1717 · 14/12/2023 21:54

I'd let her go, it's 3 weeks out of the whole school year, not 3 months, she'll catch up and it's a once in a lifetime trip

It's 7.5%ish of the school year.

Edit.
More actually, as year 11 teaching finishes early. (Even if she's going into year 10, it'll still be a higher percentage of time before mocks.)

pleasehelpwi3 · 14/12/2023 22:03

Unless the plan is for her to fail her GCSEs due to poor attendance and then work in the Disney shop in London.....oh but no, she'd need Maths and English GCSE for that....

Mittens1717 · 14/12/2023 22:04

Maireas · 14/12/2023 21:56

Why is it "once in a lifetime"?
It's Disneyland.

Show quote history

She's 14, when she gets older she's probably not going to be bothered about going, plus her aunty is taking her so I presume paying for some/all of the trip, thats once in a lifetime

Whitecup24 · 14/12/2023 22:04

Mine had 2 years off so I guess I’m in the minority when I say of course let her go!

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 14/12/2023 22:05

Year 10 I would. Year 11 she wont catch up. It will cost her some grades in some subjects. So it depends where her grades lie now. Can she afford to drop grades?

Or can you afford tutors to attempt to catch her up?

Cosyblankets · 14/12/2023 22:05

Whether people think Disney is once in a lifetime is neither here nor there. Three weeks is three weeks whether you're going to Disney or trekking the himalayas or the serengeti. It'll have the same effect on her grades wherever she goes. Where she's going is irrelevant
I'm a teacher who now does tuition. In a class of 30 for an hour you probably actually get 45 minutes worth of work done depending on the school. By the time you've done the ofsted expected explanation of what they will learn, then got through telling various kids to take their coat off/ put their phone away / stop messing etc then done the register then dealt with the kids who haven't got a pen then told them ofsted style a few times in the lesson what they're learning and then spent 5 minutes packing up and telling them what they've done.
As a tutor, I now get through what would have taken an hour in about 20 minutes because I'm dealing with one child not 30. Maybe ask her to save her pocket money to pay for some sessions with a tutor.

FrustatedAgain · 14/12/2023 22:07

I missed the first week of term once at high school. Everyone had taken all the good seats in lessons and were all buddied up. I was left with the worse seats at the front of the class either sat alone or next to the kids no one else wanted to sit next to. It’s always stayed in my mind never to let my kids miss those first few weeks back as they will be missing vital days settling back in.

Silverbirch7 · 14/12/2023 22:08

BrightLightTonight · 14/12/2023 20:48

Sorry, but going to a massive fun fair is not “once in a life time”. Something like tracking lions in the Serengeti, is “once in a life time”. You need to sort priorities and 3 weeks off school for a roller coaster ride, when it will still be there in 20 years …….

This

Dawndayda · 14/12/2023 22:08

I'm a teacher and I would say it would depend on your daughter and how she manages academically. If she's not behind and so would be able to catch up on the 3 weeks worth of work easily enough if she gets her head down then I would absolutely let her go. However, another aspect to think about with it being the start of term is if it would affect her socially at all. I was hospitalised at the end of the school holidays when I was 14 and was still in hospital right at the beginning of term. I remember begging the doctors to send me home so I could go back to school because I knew that those first few weeks were really key socially, getting your seats picked in each class for the rest of the year, getting back in with your friendship group again as often things could change over the holidays (at least for me as I often spent the school holidays travelling). This may or may not be relevant for your daughter but may be something to consider.

WhistPie · 14/12/2023 22:08

If your daughter isn't that bright but is on track for 4s or 5s then you might as well let her go, it won't make much difference in the long run.

cardibach · 14/12/2023 22:09

thefirstmrsrochester · 14/12/2023 20:49

After all the sacrifices young folk made these last few years I’d say to take the holiday and to ask if the school can provide the lesson plans for her subjects for the weeks she will be missing.

Why should the school go to all that effort for someone to go to a theme park?
Plus my lesson plans are written for me. They wouldn’t help a non-subject specialist (someone without a degree in my subject plus a teaching qualification).

atthecoreofallyoudo · 14/12/2023 22:11

I'm also a bit surprised by the idea of a 14/15 yr old wanting to go to meet Mickey Mouse. My children are older now, but mine would have thought I was completely batshit if I'd suggested it when they were that age. Maybe when they were 4, though one of them wouldn't have been interested even then.

PenelopePlant · 14/12/2023 22:12

I took 5 weeks off for Florida when I was that age, didn't make much difference to my school work and it's a memory I've held forever, was hell of an experience.

I'd say let her go, school isn't everything. She deserves to experience it.

rookiemere · 14/12/2023 22:12

Why on earth does it have to be 3 weeks? Surely two weeks is more than long enough for such a trip. It's a long time to miss school right at the point they will be learning all the new topics.

letstrythatagain · 14/12/2023 22:13

ChillinwiththeVillains · 14/12/2023 21:27

I think the fine is £60 per parent per day. So £600 per week. Which would cost you £1.8k for the trip. Worth checking quite aside from academic and social considerations.

Not per day. It's the total amount.