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Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
dayswithaY · 14/12/2023 22:14

Once in a lifetime trip? Standing in line under the blazing sun to go on a fairground ride, watching dolphins jump through hoops in a giant pool before you go for another greasy dinner at Denny’s. She will have had enough of that before the first week is over.

Take her to Alton Towers once her GCSEs are done.

Calliopespa · 14/12/2023 22:14

ClemFandangooo · 14/12/2023 20:51

Could she go for a week then come back early and you meet her at the airport?

I'd be okay with one week but not three

I agree: three weeks is far more than necessary for Disneyland Florida. I reckon anyone would be bored after a week.
Personally I’d feel uncomfortable, especially in an important year.

RedHelenB · 14/12/2023 22:15

Missing start of Y10 yes, Y11 no.

Singleandproud · 14/12/2023 22:15

@PenelopePlant GCSEs are incredibly content heavy compared to even 10 years ago, they are far more challenging and 3 weeks would be a horrendous amount to miss.

PenelopePlant · 14/12/2023 22:15

Is it just for Disney? if so then 3 weeks does seem excessive. If she's doing all of the parks than hell yeah let her go!

nopuppiesallowed · 14/12/2023 22:16

For anyone thinking of taking a child out of school - would you be happy to pay a tutor to help your child catch up on missed learning? Or would you expect a teacher to give up their out of hours / unpaid time to do it? If it was just a matter of buying a few books from Smiths, we wouldn't need schools and teachers, would we? Children missed out so much teacher led study due to Covid. They can't afford to miss any more - particularly just for a trip to Disney - somewhere they can do in their gap year!

cardibach · 14/12/2023 22:17

Anneta · 14/12/2023 20:58

If she is studious and is willing to work weekends on her school work on her return to catch up, I would let her go. You will be buying the revision guides for her anyway no doubt and she can catch up using them or via online revision. It’s a fabulous holiday and she will remember it forever.

How do you propose she catches up the expert tuition she’s missed? 5 hours a day x 15 days. 75 hours of expert tuition. If you paid for it, the least you would pay at GCSe level would be £25/hr. Could easily be £40 in some areas. So a cost of between £1875 and £3000.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 14/12/2023 22:17

Frequency · 14/12/2023 21:52

I'd double-check the £60 total fine. I got fined £175 for DD2 missing school in year 11 and she had a genuine reason.

Although, that was a fine for low overall attendance rather than one big absence. She lost her father a few weeks before the start of year 11. She found his body, called the ambulance, and did CPR on him, so she had a lot to unpack that year, mentally. I valued her mental health over her education having witnessed bullying and pressure at school wreck her older sister's mental health and allowed her to decide if she was well enough to attend.

She probably missed more than 3 weeks overall and still passed her GCSEs with decent grades and got into college. She needs to resit maths but given what she went through that year she did amazing.

I'm still livid about the fine. I wanted to attend court to appeal it but I had a job interview the same day I couldn't reschedule.

That is shocking that you were fined in those circumstances. The education authority should be ashamed of themselves.

letstrythatagain · 14/12/2023 22:17

Don't understand the comments around it not being once in a lifetime at all! Surely that depends on individual circumstances. May not be once in a lifetime to you but when your a single parents who definitely can't and never will be able to afford this for your child then this is absolutely once in a lifetime!!

confusedaboutclothes · 14/12/2023 22:18

Take the trip - life is way too short! 3 weeks isn’t a huge amount of time in the grand scheme of things, and she absolutely can catch up

Bournetilly · 14/12/2023 22:20

I wouldn't at the start of year 10/11. Any other years then I think I’d allow it. Could she go for 10 days maybe and pay for her flight home early.

whengodwasarabbit1 · 14/12/2023 22:20

I would let her go. She will learn more from the experience than she would at school. I would sit down with her though and explain she will have to work extra hard on her return back. Maybe get some after school tuition in place for a couple of months after?

ThanksItHasPockets · 14/12/2023 22:20

Lydia777 · 14/12/2023 21:30

Oh God, the responses! I am a Secondary School English teacher - let her go!!! It is such a great opportunity and of course she can catch up! The week before she goes, get her to ask her teachers what topics or coursework will be covered and make a deal with her that some has to be done before she goes and the rest when she comes back!

I’d expect a secondary school English teacher to know that students in England haven’t undertaken ‘coursework’ since 2015. If you mean NEAs in practical subjects then these have to be conducted under controlled conditions and are not straightforward to catch up.

RampantIvy · 14/12/2023 22:22

missymousey · 14/12/2023 21:23

I would let her go, she'll catch up.

Not if it is GCSE years. This isn't primary school. She will struggle with the building block subjects like maths and science. The teachers won't offer to fill in the gaps. They will just tell her to ask her friends.

It is not a great time to miss three weeks of school TBH.

cestlavielife · 14/12/2023 22:22

She does not need to go now
She will finish gcses in june when 16 can go then
Or do a year gap year camp america or au pair america
She can go any time in her life earning and saving to do so
It s just disney which will still be there in coming years
Not really "once in a lifetime"

Calliopespa · 14/12/2023 22:22

atthecoreofallyoudo · 14/12/2023 22:11

I'm also a bit surprised by the idea of a 14/15 yr old wanting to go to meet Mickey Mouse. My children are older now, but mine would have thought I was completely batshit if I'd suggested it when they were that age. Maybe when they were 4, though one of them wouldn't have been interested even then.

Im presuming it’s the rides not Mickey Mouse she is excited about, and at 4 you wouldn’t even be able to ride on many of the best rides. All in all it’s a fun enough place to visit at most ages for anyone with a bit of joie de vivre, but taking time out of school for it is not really justifiable.

cardibach · 14/12/2023 22:23

SheerLucks · 14/12/2023 21:04

But it's the very start of the GCSE years, which I think she could catch up on.

I have a friend who is a senior teacher and she said 20 years ago parents did this regularly and it rarely impacted their results, and she finds the current strict rules ridiculous.

Let your DD go to Disneyland!

Show quote history

No, it’s the start of Y11 according to the OP. I’m a teacher if 35 years experience. I agree the rules are too strict, but it’s absolute nonsense that 3 weeks won’t impact results.

CagneyAndLazy · 14/12/2023 22:23

Not. A. Chance.

I really can't believe many MNers' attitude towards school. And GCSE years, at that.

Until I saw the other thread on here, I never realised that people actually condone their own kids skiving off school just because it's their birthday, too. Utterly bonkers.

It's all "making memories, hun", and "once in a lifetime..." Any concept of delayed gratification and restraint has seemingly vanished for some people.

Lydia777 · 14/12/2023 22:24

I am an English teacher....

AxolotlEars · 14/12/2023 22:25

Let her go

squidgybits · 14/12/2023 22:25

I took my son out of school at age 7 for a month to go to America, he says he is glad that I did.
He learned more from that holiday than the school work he missed and easily caught up with
It is a once in a lifetime experience for many, why not?

Easy to keep in touch these days also
I feel schools these days are not teaching kids life skills and a trip like this is so educational in every way
I have no regrets about doing it, and I hope you don't , either way

RampantIvy · 14/12/2023 22:26

She will learn more from the experience than she would at school.

At Disney?
OK.

I wonder how many posters saying go on holiday on here have DC who are currently studying for GCSEs or have DC who have taken them?

DD is averagely bright, but would have been so stressed about missing three weeks of school.

WilmaWonka · 14/12/2023 22:27

Maireas · 14/12/2023 21:56

Why is it "once in a lifetime"?
It's Disneyland.

Show quote history

Well who knows what’s going to happen in future? It’s prohibitively expensive nowadays just for the park tickets which cost more than flights and accommodation put together!

OP’s financial situation as a family may never improve enough to be able to afford a big family trip like this. The DD may do well in her GCSE’s but struggle to find a high paying job, even if she can goes to Uni as an adult, that covers the cost of living and accommodation costs let alone an expensive holiday, as an adult, and then life gets in the way! The aunt’s financial circumstances may change or she may never offer again so if OP’s DD has got the opportunity to enjoy an experience like this now that she’ll remember for life there’s no way I’d refuse it.

OP, I’d make it clear she needs to start prepping over the summer holidays before she goes, do some online study for the GCSE’s she’s taking (any summer schools?), if the school will help direct her to work she can do that will be great, (although they will discourage the trip obviously) so she can hit the ground running when she gets back?

September is the best time for Disney Florida IMO. June would be boiling and packed anyway as schools in the US and Europe finish by then for the summer.

MumOfOneAwesomeHuman · 14/12/2023 22:27

Perspective from a homeschool parent here. Homeschool kids tend to do gcse courses in one year and often do them years early. Missing 3 weeks in a 2 year gcse course is nothing. Unless your dd is way behind or struggles with school work she can catch up on 3 weeks lessons & homework.
I would go for it and give her this amazing opportunity. Disney Florida is incredible and I assume they'll go to Epcot as part of the trip which is hugely educational.

Cosyblankets · 14/12/2023 22:28

cardibach · 14/12/2023 22:17

How do you propose she catches up the expert tuition she’s missed? 5 hours a day x 15 days. 75 hours of expert tuition. If you paid for it, the least you would pay at GCSe level would be £25/hr. Could easily be £40 in some areas. So a cost of between £1875 and £3000.

Show quote history

Don't be ridiculous
One to one tuition is far more intensive than one to 30 in a class. I've done both. I get loads more done with one than i did with 30. Surely that's not hard to see!