Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

[XMissPlacedX]

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

Well said.

This is not a message I would want to send to my daughter. Disney over education??

Jesus.

Imagine going through life with such a negative and fearful attitude!

Disdaining the nonsense and waste that is Disney is hardly fearful.

I pity those who think that pouring their hard-earned money into that fake claptrap is "the experience of a lifetime."

I was thinking this. I remember doing a bit of revision, swanning in to sit a few exams and done. The sheer amount of learning, content, extra lessons, doing past papers and pressure my kids have had from year 10 onwards is insane.

@XMissPlacedX I'm glad you've worked out a plan so your DD can go, I'd let mine go too 😊 I'll probably get flamed for saying this, but could you not tell the school it was a family wedding abroad? I know schools will grant permission for certain reasons! We genuinely went to a family wedding abroad when my son's were 8 & 13, and it was allowed. Anyway, I'm glad her dream is coming true 🌟

Incredibly content heavy. Ive still an entire paper to do with year 11.

doing gcses in the 90’s were stood down around easter and worked actual jobs, did very little revision, went to school in own clothes for exams. Now they never stand down. They're there forever. Or that’s what it feels like when Im still dealing with year 11 in June. Bloody June.

Yes, not only teach your child school and education is low priority, but also model lying, and involving others in your lies to avoid the consequences of your actions is acceptable 🤦🏻‍♀️

Gold standard parenting. 🏆

The fine is £60 per week, per parent. So £180 if you’re a single parent, £360 for a couple.
My daughter is in Y7 and after having only 4 days off school to come on our honeymoon she’s said she doesn’t want to go on holiday again in term time and would rather stay home with her grandparents if we go away in term time again!( we wouldn’t do that btw)
She felt behind after 4 days so I can’t imagine 3 weeks. Particularly in Y11 it would be a hard no from me. It’s rubbish that she knows about it but you’re her parent, not her friend, you have to make decisions they don’t always agree with sometimes. It would definitely soften it if your sister agrees to take her in 2 years instead though

@MermaidEyes The difference is that schools accepted lower grades then, as did parents and most universities didn’t care that much either. The pressure to do well has ramped up but it doesn’t mean dc are brighter. There’s something very ok about the bright rocking up to exams and not being bored after 3 years of input!

Year 10 @RampantIvy
I've agreed that she can go for 10 days and then fly home.

@SusanKennedyshouldLTB exactly. I'm very much of the opinion that a lot of subjects should go back to being graded on the coursework you've done, learned and understood over the past two years rather than a final exam sat under extremely stressful circumstances, and if you're ill on that day or nervous, anxious or anything else, you're screwed. I think I sat a handful of exams. My eldest child sat something like 22 😒

Brutally your position is determined by whether you are a parent that values education or not. Dh and I are where we are now because we worked hard at school got top grades and then professional jobs as a result so are coming at it from that angle. If you’ve succeeded without doing well educationally guess your view will be more relaxed. In our field dropping a grade or two has a big long term impact and gcse grades do matter.

If it’s the start of year 11 then no. It isn’t a once in a lifetime opportunity because if she does well in her exams that opens up doors to A Levels which then opens up doors to university and she can subsequently afford to take herself to Disney world as an adult.

The problem is that there is more opportunity for cheating and/or plagiarism these days, especially with AI. The only way to do it as coursework is to do it in school time and confiscate all phones from the students.

Agree, memories can be made outside of the school term. I am amazed and the "sod school" have fun attitude... it's hardly showing respect for the teachers and school. I have a number of friends who are teachers and they genuinely care about their pupils, what's OPs daughter going to say that her parents cared more about a Disney trip than her education? Tacky entitlement.

I think Mumsnet might be the wrong place to ask - I'm a teacher and as a parent I would let her go. Some stuff is more important than school! 3 weeks right at the beginning of the year is hardly likely to impact on her final grades! I'd let her go x

Also the suggestion to flat out lie to the school. Depressing.

What age do you teach out of interest? Several family members are senior secondary school teachers and like fuck would they agree to this for one of their own year 10 children

I'm a teacher too, and I think it's a terrible idea.

In the first two weeks of year 10, we'll have read a substantial chunk of a text that we won't come back to until the end of year 11, and been working on the specific analysis skills needed for GCSE literature.

Yes, she can catch up the reading (although, in my experience, they don't) and we'll do essays all through the course - but she'll never get that teaching back.

What age group and subjects do you teach?

I’m guessing your exam specs aren’t as loaded as England or Wales then (where my experience is). No time to do revision and settling in for weeks.

Some stuff is more important than school.

Disneyland 😵‍💫
I hope you're not teaching any of my kids, @Ymamiss
Although I'm not entirely convinced some of the self declared teachers on this thread are who they say they are.

I’d have been more inclined to say yes if it was the last 2 weeks rather than the first! I wouldn’t be wanting anyone to miss the first weeks of any year at high school but I do sympathise about prices and the way they are so inflated over the school holidays.

First weeks of term are ALWAYS revision of stuff taught the previous year. I've never seen it be different (I have a kid in Y9 in England). People on this thread clutching pearls for no reason. A few weeks off in the beginning of the year will not mean she fails her GCSES (nearly two years later)

So glad someone with the experience of having a kid in year 9 has arrived to set all us who have been teachers for decades straight…

A tutor would not know what had been missed, much of which is built on for further educational stages.

Personally, I wouldn’t return to Disney even if flights, accommodation and theme park entry were free. I returned with no photos as it was instantly forgettable.