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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
MrsHamlet · 16/12/2023 12:53

XelaM · 16/12/2023 12:41

First weeks of term are ALWAYS revision of stuff taught the previous year. I've never seen it be different (I have a kid in Y9 in England). People on this thread clutching pearls for no reason. A few weeks off in the beginning of the year will not mean she fails her GCSES (nearly two years later)

Edited

I've been teaching for a long time, and this is nonsense.

RampantIvy · 16/12/2023 13:00

XelaM · 16/12/2023 12:41

First weeks of term are ALWAYS revision of stuff taught the previous year. I've never seen it be different (I have a kid in Y9 in England). People on this thread clutching pearls for no reason. A few weeks off in the beginning of the year will not mean she fails her GCSES (nearly two years later)

Edited

So, no experience of year 10 then Hmm

BrimfulOfMash · 16/12/2023 13:02

XelaM · 16/12/2023 12:41

First weeks of term are ALWAYS revision of stuff taught the previous year. I've never seen it be different (I have a kid in Y9 in England). People on this thread clutching pearls for no reason. A few weeks off in the beginning of the year will not mean she fails her GCSES (nearly two years later)

Edited

@XelaM So you haven’t had a child go through the GCSE years in England?

IME Dc doing GCSE in 2 different schools the GCSE curriculum starts at the beginning of the first term of the new year. Why on earth would they start with revision of pre GCSE work?

Quartz2208 · 16/12/2023 13:04

I hate to be incredibly pedantic but Orlando is Walt Disney World, the other parks are Disneyland but because Walt Disney died just before the Orlando park opened Roy Disney named in Walt Disney World in his honour.

10 days sounds like a good compromise

ThanksItHasPockets · 16/12/2023 13:05

XelaM · 16/12/2023 12:41

First weeks of term are ALWAYS revision of stuff taught the previous year. I've never seen it be different (I have a kid in Y9 in England). People on this thread clutching pearls for no reason. A few weeks off in the beginning of the year will not mean she fails her GCSES (nearly two years later)

Edited

Ignorant nonsense. Year 10 marks the beginning of a new key stage. Some students are studying brand new subjects and as novices the learning curve is steep. In my own subject of English schools almost always begin year 10 with the teaching of a Literature text, very often Shakespeare. It takes a bright, motivated student with a very supportive family to catch up the deficit.

withlovefromlou · 16/12/2023 13:23

I’ll probably get slated for this, but no matter how much you value your education it doesn’t mean you’ll do well in your exams.

I worked incredibly hard at school and hardly missed any days, but I struggled once I had to sit in a hall with an actual exam paper in front of me.

I was predicted all A*s and came away with C’s and D’s. And the kids who messed about in class or didn’t turn up half the time got much higher grades. It was awful.

Everyone’s circumstances are different and I don’t think we should be giving the OP a hard time for considering letting her daughter go on holiday during term time.

Edited to add that this was a reply to someone, but it’s not showing the original post

Iwantmyoldnameback · 16/12/2023 13:31

We were there for both Irma and Ian and both hit the Disney area hard. Airports were also closed.

This was to the person who said the area is not affected by hurricanes.

BlueMediterranean · 16/12/2023 13:35

I'm a secondary school teacher and 3 weeks is a lot to catch up. Your child is going to feel super behind in lessons and will probably feel demotivated and will give up as is too overwhelming.

Jasnijade · 16/12/2023 13:37

You don’t seem to be a very happy person, Laurie. How sad to be so judgmental of other people’s pleasure!

Aprilx · 16/12/2023 14:03

ImTheMidsomerMurderer · 16/12/2023 10:08

@XMissPlacedX I'm glad you've worked out a plan so your DD can go, I'd let mine go too 😊 I'll probably get flamed for saying this, but could you not tell the school it was a family wedding abroad? I know schools will grant permission for certain reasons! We genuinely went to a family wedding abroad when my son's were 8 & 13, and it was allowed. Anyway, I'm glad her dream is coming true 🌟

She hasn’t worked out a plan. She has just decided to let her go, planning doesn’t come into it. Personally I think it is a dreadful message to send a child and I find the whole “once in a lifetime” commentary depressing as if she has already written off her daughter as somebody not likely to be ever able to pay her own way to Disney World in the future.

Thea4001 · 16/12/2023 14:05

when my daughter was in year 11 I would have said no - now i've put 3 thru gcse's/alevels and uni I would say yes if she generally behaves and works hard. Life is short and unpredictable - grab experiences: The only person who can ensure her exams go well is your daughter and time at school doesn't ensure that - attitude and graft will. if she massively struggles and may not pass her Maths or English then no. Kids can fly alone ar 14 - can she go for 10 days/2 weeks instead?

beanontoast · 16/12/2023 14:10

Ymamiss · 16/12/2023 11:13

I think Mumsnet might be the wrong place to ask - I'm a teacher and as a parent I would let her go. Some stuff is more important than school! 3 weeks right at the beginning of the year is hardly likely to impact on her final grades! I'd let her go x

Youre a teacher and you think Disneyland is more important than school? Wow your students have no chance

AnnieG5 · 16/12/2023 14:20

I went to Disney at age 8 then again at 21 and again at 42. I promise it is much more fun as an adult. Making her wait until after she finishes her GCSEs will give her something to aim for (better grades more spending money). Missing three weeks of first year of GCSEs is huge and may affect her results and therefore her options going forward (A levels/Uni/ well paid job) but going to Disney at age 16 instead of 14 will not affect her life options or memories made from the holiday. Hell maybe it even gives you time to save up and all go along…

TheaBrandt · 16/12/2023 14:51

Now our older kids are doing a levels had a “can’t believe our parents did that” conversation with friends looking back at how we were parented through our exams at the same age - hopefully this will not be one of those - that Dd looking back won’t believe you let her go

Aprilx · 16/12/2023 15:04

AnnieG5 · 16/12/2023 14:20

I went to Disney at age 8 then again at 21 and again at 42. I promise it is much more fun as an adult. Making her wait until after she finishes her GCSEs will give her something to aim for (better grades more spending money). Missing three weeks of first year of GCSEs is huge and may affect her results and therefore her options going forward (A levels/Uni/ well paid job) but going to Disney at age 16 instead of 14 will not affect her life options or memories made from the holiday. Hell maybe it even gives you time to save up and all go along…

😁 Despite my absolute disagreement with OP’s decision to prioritise Disney over education, I am a complete Disneyphile. I had zero interest in going to WDW until relatively recently and I went for the first time when I was 47. I feel sorry for people that are there with young children, they look to be having a horrendous, stressful time. WDW is definitely for adults. 😁

I

cardibach · 16/12/2023 15:25

chloe1656 · 16/12/2023 07:57

So id let her go, however - I would prob pay for a tutor to start once she’s back so realistically she can catch up on what she’s missed from school.

Which subject is it you think she’ll need a tutor for?
Or are you thinking ‘a tutor’ can do it all? Many GCSE students have 12 subjects, some more. Even since English Lang and lit can be covered by one tutor, and if we hope that one could do all of science, that would mean 8 tutors. Which day is going to have 2 lessons in addition to school, homework, hobbies? Is she to have any downtime?

cardibach · 16/12/2023 15:59

XelaM · 16/12/2023 12:41

First weeks of term are ALWAYS revision of stuff taught the previous year. I've never seen it be different (I have a kid in Y9 in England). People on this thread clutching pearls for no reason. A few weeks off in the beginning of the year will not mean she fails her GCSES (nearly two years later)

Edited

I’ve been teaching 35 years in 2 different U.K. countries, private and state schools. I have NEVER used the first weeks for revision. Mind you, if a teacher did that it would be because they thought the class needed focussed and taught revision of the topic…

RampantIvy · 16/12/2023 16:15

Many GCSE students have 12 subjects, some more.

No. It isn't usual to take so many. Isn't the norm 9 or 10 these days?

ChilledToTheBone · 16/12/2023 16:24

My eldest did at that age. It halved their dads cost of the trip. The fine was a mere £90 ish per parent for the 3 weeks, if i remember right.
Didn't affect their gcses

StarlightLime · 16/12/2023 17:02

Jasnijade · 16/12/2023 13:37

You don’t seem to be a very happy person, Laurie. How sad to be so judgmental of other people’s pleasure!

Unbelievably stupid comment, especially in the context of this thread (GCSE work v Disney)

Jasnijade · 16/12/2023 17:05

Did you see what Laurie said? I really don’t think there’s any need to be so mean.

Pandajane · 16/12/2023 17:31

Life is too short - let her go.

Tiredalwaystired · 16/12/2023 17:39

XelaM · 16/12/2023 12:41

First weeks of term are ALWAYS revision of stuff taught the previous year. I've never seen it be different (I have a kid in Y9 in England). People on this thread clutching pearls for no reason. A few weeks off in the beginning of the year will not mean she fails her GCSES (nearly two years later)

Edited

So you’ve never had a kid in key stage four then? Come back in a year and share that wisdom…

SurreyisSunny · 16/12/2023 18:33

The fine isn’t the issue, the issue is missing 3 weeks of her GCSEs. She could literally miss the answer to a question which could change her grade and future prospects. I love Disney but not worth it in my opinion

TizerorFizz · 16/12/2023 19:04

She won’t miss the answers to any questions but knowledge is cumulative. It builds upon building blocks and foundations. The worst thing is the message it sends. You do what you want. You don’t have to go to school if you would rather do something else. You can pick and choose. The parents don’t support the school and the teachers and it doesn’t matter. It’s just a poor attitude and not teaching a dc that a commitment to school matters. As it also would to university or a job. There’s time to go after exams or even at Easter.