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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
LaurieStrode · 15/12/2023 20:45

NeonSoda · 15/12/2023 17:43

  1. When will your daughter catch up the 75 or more hours of schooling that she will miss?
  2. Do you expect the teachers to do extra work to make sure she isn’t disadvantaged or are you willing to hire a private tutor for each subject?

And what about coming home exhausted, overstimulated and jet-lagged? I'm a seasoned adult and after a journey it takes me time to settle back into routine and proper sleep/nutrition/mindset for work. So it's not just 10 days she'll miss out on.

thedementedelf · 15/12/2023 20:48

Life is short, go on the trip.

RampantIvy · 15/12/2023 20:52

PUGMEISTER21 · 15/12/2023 18:08

Missed a whole year during Covid. Just saying.

All the more reason not to miss any now. It has screwed up too many young people to be able to cope with higher education. So many students dropping out of university, not being able to cope with the workload, not being mature enough to live independently.

grumpycow1 · 15/12/2023 20:53

Let her go! My dad took me out of school for 3 weeks to go to Florida, funnily enough also at 14 😊 Still the most amazing memories and I got all A* - Bs. 3 weeks can be caught up if you’re strict that she has to do the work. But the memory can’t be recreated.

Mumofthreeteenagers · 15/12/2023 21:00

I wouldn't miss the start of school year but would miss end of school term. She misses new regimes and would struggle to find her natural place. She would miss all the expectation setting. Friend making. Catch ups. She would be playing catch up just to manage work loads

RampantIvy · 15/12/2023 21:02

@XMissPlacedX will your DD be in year 10 or year 11?

fuzzyduck1 · 15/12/2023 21:17

Let her go if it’s the first 3 weeks of the GCSEs she’ll soon catch up.

Jack80 · 15/12/2023 21:32

Could you pay for tutoring for her to catch up and ask school what she will miss

Devongirl23 · 15/12/2023 21:36

Absolutely no chance would I in gcse year, not sure when her mocks would be but ours are November in year 11.

PippEmma · 15/12/2023 21:41

Sorry but I wouldn't consider any unnecessary time off from secondary school and 3 weeks at the start of year 11 is a definite no.

Direstraightsagain · 15/12/2023 21:42

I would say at that age a week doesn’t make too much of a difference but 2/3 weeks you need to think of all the impacts for your specific situation
3 weeks is a 1/4 of the first term of GCSEs. This depends on so many things. Is she academic and interested in school? Or is she interested in vocational activities? Will she want to continue school in 6th form? Is she motivated by the set she is in? How does the school operate? Does she need good gcse grades for what she wants to do next?
At my children’s school they have assessments every half term. If they missed the first 3 weeks of term they would miss some of the assessments and would not be in the correct set for their ability. ( it is not fair to ask the school to downgrade another child because your child has been on holiday) so this would impact the pace they worked at for another term. This doesn’t matter if they are confident and it won’t affect them or the school operates differently. But if they want to go for top grades then they are missing something they will need to make up.
if it was me I’d go for cake and eat it and send her for a week with a supervised flight back.

TizerorFizz · 15/12/2023 21:47

Who supervises dc on a flight these days?

MzHz · 15/12/2023 21:49

Notasnowballschanceinhell · 15/12/2023 17:57

There's nothing that educates better than travel IMHO. Take every chance offered, pay the fine and smile. Do extra study over the summer holidays if it really worries you.

Disney? An education? wow your education didn’t stretch to much if you think this is an educational experience.

ThanksItHasPockets · 15/12/2023 21:52

Utterly depressing that so many posters think it’s fine to miss the first three weeks of year 10, when GCSE courses start and the groundwork of knowledge that will be needed for the whole course is laid. Depending on option choices there may be some subjects that are totally new to the student.

PUGMEISTER21 · 15/12/2023 22:02

Guessing you could stand in the queues and work out the bank angles and velocity needed for the roller coasters to make it around in relation to gravitational forces working against them.

RampantIvy · 15/12/2023 22:04

Or work out the tip required by waiting staff when eating out.

Findinganewme · 15/12/2023 22:06

It would be a real shame for your daughter to miss out. We don’t know how confident / academic your daughter is, so that’s a factor to consider.

the issue is that 1) it’s GCSE years for your daughter and the beginning of the term is important in terms of getting to know the routine, the teachers, finding her feet and getting all the materials in order 2) at this stage of her schooling, she probably doesn’t benefit from getting on the wrong side of her teachers and head. She will need their favour!

my idea would be to go in the summer, missing the end of the term, if anything. Go before schools break up. Miss the last week?

cardibach · 15/12/2023 22:22

moomoomoo27 · 15/12/2023 15:29

Learning about Shakespeare got me an English Lit GCSE, which got me a place at university (since it's one of the core required subjects), which got me a job that required a degree, which got me experience to start my own business.

Obviously no one is thinking that learning where the River Severn is directly leads to them becoming a banker or a doctor. You're being too literal.

Show quote history

I agree, but also - education isn’t the same as training. Lots of learning which doesn’t contribute directly to the world of work is valuable for its own sake and for the way it changes us.

threatmatrix · 15/12/2023 22:23

You’re talking a few thousand more.

Sweetchillidumplings · 15/12/2023 22:24

Abbimae · 14/12/2023 20:28

Don’t expect schools to be lax for you if you moan they are off for inset:strikes etc

Why would you moan anyway? The things you’ve mentioned are completely irrelevant.

cardibach · 15/12/2023 22:31

Onlinecaroline · 15/12/2023 16:41

Let her go. She’ll remember it forever. As a teacher I truly believe she’ll catch up. Especially the first few weeks of term when it’s a lot of revision and settling in.

Are you really a teacher? Secondary, U.K.? Because that’s not anything I recognise…

cardibach · 15/12/2023 22:32

webs1991 · 15/12/2023 16:43

I’m a teacher and I say let her go she can always catch up they are only this young once there’s no harm

Edited

A teacher using zero punctuation?

StarlightLime · 15/12/2023 22:35

Yeah, some of the supposed teachers on this thread 😬

NotVWoolf · 15/12/2023 22:37

There’s more to life and education than being in a classroom.
I took my four children out of primary and secondary school three times to go travelling. The first trip (USA) they missed the second half of the summer term, the second trip (South America) they missed the entire spring term, and the third trip (expedition across the Sahara) a couple of weeks both sides of Easter. They’ve thrived and are now all graduates with successful careers.
This was before fines and the children were all in top sets, but I wouldn’t have taken them out of school in September. Florida’s a great temperature and it used to be cheaper from Easter to July so could they go then?

Woofie7 · 15/12/2023 22:39

Oo tricky but as an ex teacher, the first three weeks in September are important to stabilise the year. Establish a routine. New timetable, new rooms, new books given out, new friends made , seating arranged.
pe groups, partners, clubs .
friendship groups changing , teachers changing and the chance to run in the term gently .

if you said three last weeks of school I’d be definitely saying yes , go!

even spring term I’d say go if she’s a bright girl .

but beginning of term I am not so keen

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