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AIBU?

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Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
xILikeJamx · 15/12/2023 12:31

YANBU. Let her go and enjoy it and don't worry. She won't be this age again and 3 weeks of school could be fairly easily caught up.

snoopyfanaccountant · 15/12/2023 12:32

It's a big no from me. Three weeks at the start of the school year is too much to miss. It's all very well to say she can catch up when she returns, and in some subjects that would be possible, but in something like maths, she would miss new topics and then wouldn't be able to do the work when she returns because she has missed the basics.
We booked to go to Florida at the end of May 2019 because the school calendar said that study leave for exams ended on June 10th . In fact the study leave finished at the end of May so one of mine had one day of her new timetable and missed the first 2 weeks of her Higher work (we're in Scotland). She was able to catch up because my mum's a retired maths teacher who tutored her over the summer and also because the teachers did revision with them when they went back in August, but that's not going to apply to missed school in September.

MumChp · 15/12/2023 12:34

Go!

Let a tutor help with the 3 weeks homework and she'll be fine.

Tiredalwaystired · 15/12/2023 12:34

xILikeJamx · 15/12/2023 12:31

YANBU. Let her go and enjoy it and don't worry. She won't be this age again and 3 weeks of school could be fairly easily caught up.

14/15 for Disney isn’t that much different than going at 18 after A levels (or even in July before schools break up but after GCSEs).

You’re not going to be missing that magic window of photos with princesses, so it won’t do any harm to wait. If the cousin is the same age why aren’t they waiting for a post GCSE treat too? Surely better for everyone?

Tiredalwaystired · 15/12/2023 12:35

MumChp · 15/12/2023 12:34

Go!

Let a tutor help with the 3 weeks homework and she'll be fine.

That will be a tutor for each subject then? You might as well pay for a trip to Disney out of your own pocket if you’re going to cover that.

Feelinadequate23 · 15/12/2023 12:37

3 weeks is crazy! Could she go for 10-12 days instead? At her age I'd trust her to get a flight on her own if there was someone to drop her off and meet her at either end.

whatsappdoc · 15/12/2023 12:39

Bit of a faff/cost to arrange flights home in the middle of a holiday. Is auntie doing that? Will she be accompanied to the airport? Although I don't agree with the holiday feel a bit sorry for dd if the others are spending the last week doing something more exciting

PuttingDownRoots · 15/12/2023 12:43

Do look atvthe process for Unaccompanied teenagers. A quick Google showed that BA for example would expect a 14yo to get through the airport alone, which could be quite daunting if they've never done it before (especially a big Hub airport for the US to UK).

RampantIvy · 15/12/2023 12:50

Good point @PuttingDownRoots. Going through security at Orlando can be quite daunting if you are an unaccompanied teenager. US border control are very strict.

RhiWrites · 15/12/2023 12:56

I went to a terrible secondary school from age 11-14. At 14 I had to catch up on three years worth of education. I did pretty well. Oxbridge and everything. It’s not as hard to catch up as people think. Schools teach to the common (or lowest) denominator.

I think she can catch up on three weeks of mainstream education.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 15/12/2023 13:19

daisychainrose · 14/12/2023 20:34

Speak to the school. Ask how much is the fine and would missing 3 weeks be an issue ...will she catch up etc.
Personally I wouldn't take her out.
Wait until she finishes.
Also Aunt is well off but can't go in the holidays??
How much more is it? Is it as much as the fine.

Because she is well off doesn't mean she has to spend double for an already expensive trip.

chocorabbit · 15/12/2023 13:22

Pigsears · 15/12/2023 12:00

OP daughter going with cousin same age- so assuming in same boat re GCSE?

Difference bw two kids is money. Aunt will have cash to throw at private tutors. Aunt will have contacts to help their child get a job- despite marks. You child could just potentially suffer instead?

Absolutely no way would I agree to this- even the '10 days' (plus flight time, plus jet lag recovery time, plus the inevitable cold etc picked up on the journey...)

Exactly.

They finish GCSEs at least a month before other pupils' last day of school and they could go end of June as many pp have suggested.

Also, people can laugh as much as they want but @cardibach 's suggestion that she could catch a cold is not at all unusual when you travel abroad.

LaDamaDeElche · 15/12/2023 13:25

QueenCoconut · 15/12/2023 11:52

Just to put a different perspective on it: I’ve lived in another country, with other family members in two different European countries. It is quite normal in those places to go on holiday during term time and it is left to parents’ discretion. England is quite unique in the strict no absence attitude. I know there are pros and cons to both approaches but the bottom line is that children are taken out of school for holidays in many countries and somehow societies function. It’s not like England is world-leading education wise.

I agree with that. It's normal in Spain, but to be fair tutoring and academies are also much more reasonably priced than the U.K. so it would be expected that the parents pay an agency outside the school to make up any work missed. It's very book based here, so easier to do. The teachers certainly wouldn't be giving lesson plans here, but they would tell the parents the topics covered and wish the child a very happy trip!!

NotTonightDeidre · 15/12/2023 13:31

I've read that you've decided now, but honestly, I'd have let her go for the whole 3 weeks.

The experience is worth way more than she will ever learn in a classroom & there's every chance she can catch up on work.

Since covid I've taken a far more relaxed view to missing schooling. Kids are resilient & adaptable.

Teledeluxe · 15/12/2023 13:40

You and sister shouldn’t have suggested this to daughter in the first place.

TizerorFizz · 15/12/2023 13:46

Disney worth more educationally than teaching at school? How little we value teachers!

Original poster
XMissPlacedX · 15/12/2023 13:49

@Teledeluxe probably best to properly read the thread, I didn't tell DD.

OP posts:
C152 · 15/12/2023 13:50

I'd let her go.

saffy2 · 15/12/2023 13:50

My son is about to turn 14 and is in year 9. So how is she about to start in year 11 in sept 2024?
I wouldn’t let him go for either year 10 or year 11 tbh, in his school they’ve started GCSE’s in year 9 for some subjects and I’ve been strict on days off already.

Mikimoto · 15/12/2023 13:53

LaDamaDeElche · 15/12/2023 13:25

I agree with that. It's normal in Spain, but to be fair tutoring and academies are also much more reasonably priced than the U.K. so it would be expected that the parents pay an agency outside the school to make up any work missed. It's very book based here, so easier to do. The teachers certainly wouldn't be giving lesson plans here, but they would tell the parents the topics covered and wish the child a very happy trip!!

Show quote history

Spain also now official has the lowest level of education in Western Europe (see the new PISA reports)

Bizjustgotreal · 15/12/2023 13:54

Let her go! That sounds amazing! She'll catch up on missed school work.

LaDamaDeElche · 15/12/2023 13:55

Spain also now official has the lowest level of education in Western Europe (see the new PISA reports) I'm just giving an example of how children can catch up more easily here. Plenty of other European countries take the same line as Spain. The U.K. is unusual in its strict attendance policy.

TeenLifeMum · 15/12/2023 13:58

We had a great time in Florida this summer and our secondary aged dc loved it but it wasn’t educational 😂

WaltzingWaters · 15/12/2023 14:00

I say go for it. She’ll always remember it. But then I’m a big traveller!

Maybe say she can do it if she does extra studying over summer holidays and half term.

LaDamaDeElche · 15/12/2023 14:02

Mikimoto I just had a look at those results on this link and I can't see where you're getting that from, apart from the reading results. In maths and science they are certainly not at the bottom of Western European countries.

factsmaps.com/pisa-2022-worldwide-ranking-average-score-of-mathematics-science-and-reading/