Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

[XMissPlacedX]

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

'Rich aunty' has a daughter the same age apparently. It's on 'Rich aunty's' guidance that just paying the fine will do, no problem.

I hope the OP does some research around what action would actually be taken by her daughter's school because I'll be the aunt has done very little.

A trip could end up being booked that has to be cancelled and it would be depressing if the OP was asked to cover a big mistake.

At 14, definitely not. Three weeks is a lot of GCSE work to miss out on. Very disrespectful to the teachers too who will have to help her catch up.

Any possibility of doing the trip in holiday time but for a shorter period, like a week and a half?

Her auntie has offered to take her, but did she offer to pay, for it all? including entry to theme parks and all food and drinks including meals out? or will there be a discussion later on after it's all booked about your expected contribution?

I don't even have to think about it, it would be a no from me, and we took our DC 6 times when they were young. As a child myself it was on my bucket list for years along with New York, never dreaming I would be able to get there, and eventually I did for the first time at age 27. 3 trips to NY and 7 to Florida and my itch is well and truly scratched.

Now is not the right time.

Taking her out of school at the beginning of year 10 or 11 is pretty irresponsible. I'd be cross with her aunt for asking her directly tbh.

I thought when you said trip of a lifetime it would be something that could be sold as vaguely educational/give life experience or perhaps be travelling from place to place seeing different cultures and speaking a foreign language to get by which you could argue would be beneficial - but that's not Disney.

I wouldn't, there will be concepts taught that she will miss out on and, unless she's quite confident to stick her hand up and ask for extra explanations then there will be stuff she doesn't ever understand.

Omg 100% say yes!! Have a chat with her about the fact she’ll need to do lots of homework to catch up.

If the UK had more of a textbook-based system, it might be possible to get textbook copies and just cram the contents in advance (with or without a tutor). I don't know, would CPG books be sufficient?

Her auntie has offered to take her, but did she offer to pay, for it all? including entry to theme parks and all food and drinks including meals out? or will there be a discussion later on after it's all booked about your expected contribution?

I wondered this as well. What exactly is the auntie paying for? Flights and accommodation only? Theme park entry is three figures, food is expensive. The US is not a cheap holiday destination. Is the auntie paying for everything?

Also, don't forget to add in holiday insurance.

@OVienna she’s my third and all the others have been in December too. They run for over 2 weeks, there’s a lot taught and revision done in those first couple of weeks. I can’t even begin to imagine how you try to justify a trip to Disneyland to the school.

How will she know what is going to be covered? Subsequent teacher posters have confirmed that this won't happen.

All you have to do is find the exam board and all of the content is online.

She could probably cover more in the flights than she would during the 3 weeks of lessons.

To me, school is one of the most important things in the world, especially if you come from a disadvantaged background.
But 10 days out of 12 years, really isn’t going to make a huge difference.

OP I think your mistake was saying Disney.
If you had said to see the pyramids in Egypt or whale watching in Alaska, you would have had a lot more support but many MNers don’t like Disney or America or both.

CPG books are fantastic but I’d say they’re more for revision.

But they still give you a general guide to the knowledge, so I would definitely recommend them.

I find using bitesize to learn the context and then using the CPG books (both revision and workbooks) afterwards to consolidate what you’ve learnt, works really well.

I'd go.

I did a similar trip at the same age (not Florida but a once in a lifetime family thing). If she’s a capable student, I’d let her go. She can catch up on schoolwork but will never get those memories back.

Just to put a different perspective on it: I’ve lived in another country, with other family members in two different European countries. It is quite normal in those places to go on holiday during term time and it is left to parents’ discretion. England is quite unique in the strict no absence attitude. I know there are pros and cons to both approaches but the bottom line is that children are taken out of school for holidays in many countries and somehow societies function. It’s not like England is world-leading education wise.

Children are at school for roughly 40 weeks a year x 12 years. 480 weeks if my maths its correct. So your daughter has 477. so what? she'll remember the Florida trip forever. Schools don't teach things only once - there's revision and consolidation work - she's hardly going to miss out something completely.

All you have to do is find the exam board and all of the content is online.

No. It isn't as simple as that. AQA, for example, will show all the topics available, but the school will select which topics they want to do for subjects like geography and history. The school doesn't do all the topics available for each humanity. English lit is another example. The school will be allowed to select which books the students will be studying from a range of books.

I would still look at what the auntie is paying for @XMissPlacedX. The theme park tickets come in at over £800 if doing both Disney and Universal.

Her kind aunt is paying for everything but has asked me to provide dd's spending money @RampantIvy

Disney just isn't very important, so she should just wait.

OP daughter going with cousin same age- so assuming in same boat re GCSE?

Difference bw two kids is money. Aunt will have cash to throw at private tutors. Aunt will have contacts to help their child get a job- despite marks. You child could just potentially suffer instead?

Absolutely no way would I agree to this- even the '10 days' (plus flight time, plus jet lag recovery time, plus the inevitable cold etc picked up on the journey...)

It's all settled now anyway, but Thankyou. DD is going for the first 10 days and then flying home.

Ex teacher here....Teachers have enough work to do without adding any extra. What if other parents decide to take their children out of school for cheaper holidays? A class of 32 with, say, 10 children going on holiday in term time would need to be given Catchup work. This would mean hours and hours of extra work for their teacher. To me, such an attitude shows thoughtlessness and a lack of appreciation for our children's education....sad. Oh - by the way. None of my children went to Disney land but it hasn't left a gaping hole in their lives. We did lots of other interesting and exciting things during the school holidays.

Haven't read the whole thread so you might have already said, but this would depend on whether she is doing well or struggling, motivated or not bothered.

I couldn’t agree more. I was brought up very much in a culture of hard work first, rewards later but it seems it is the other way round now.

I couldn't justify this in any way. She will not only miss the first 10 days but will then be totally dis orientated for weeks trying to work out missed work.
As a teacher I would do my best to help a child who had been in hospital with appendicitis but a holiday ,no .
My children would loved to have to gone to Disney, Lapland and many other exciting must dos. Instead they got a tent or caravan holiday and have wonderful memories of those.
They did work hard at school and used it for what it's there for, to provide them with an education that can benefit their future lives. We didn't treat school as some kind of optional extra.