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Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
Libra24 · 15/12/2023 14:04

If you are willing to work with her on her return to get her back up to speed, let her go.

Your daughter is more than her academic achievements. Incredible opportunity for her. If it was after Christmas I'd be more conservative but I think it's probably the best time to miss school. Loads of time to catch up.

Magpie2310 · 15/12/2023 14:10

If you can trust her that she will catch up, which will mean putting in a lot of hard work, then let her go - it's once in a lifetime for some, and if she waits another 2 years then it might interfere with college/sixth form and people will still say "its too much education to miss".

It all boils down to ger work ethic and her willingness to catch up. Sod the fine, her aunt is right, it will be cheaper to pay 3 weeks of fines than it would to book that long in the summer. And sod the school having an opinion on whether it's right or wrong, of course they're going to say it's wrong, they fine kids for taking a day out to go to a funeral as its not "permissable" absence.

3 weeks isn't that much to miss in the grand scheme of things, and right at the beginning of the year too - she can find her feet any time and presumably she knows her way around, it would just be a case of finding the right classrooms for that year as opposed to the previous year.

I missed 4 months of school in the MIDDLE of my GCSEs, predicted Cs and Ds simply because of the absence, came out with As and Bs. Kids CAN catch up IF THEY WANT TO - and that's the condition you need to put to her, she needs to make sure she keeps up or catches up in order to go.

chocorabbit · 15/12/2023 14:14

Magpie2310 · 15/12/2023 14:10

If you can trust her that she will catch up, which will mean putting in a lot of hard work, then let her go - it's once in a lifetime for some, and if she waits another 2 years then it might interfere with college/sixth form and people will still say "its too much education to miss".

It all boils down to ger work ethic and her willingness to catch up. Sod the fine, her aunt is right, it will be cheaper to pay 3 weeks of fines than it would to book that long in the summer. And sod the school having an opinion on whether it's right or wrong, of course they're going to say it's wrong, they fine kids for taking a day out to go to a funeral as its not "permissable" absence.

3 weeks isn't that much to miss in the grand scheme of things, and right at the beginning of the year too - she can find her feet any time and presumably she knows her way around, it would just be a case of finding the right classrooms for that year as opposed to the previous year.

I missed 4 months of school in the MIDDLE of my GCSEs, predicted Cs and Ds simply because of the absence, came out with As and Bs. Kids CAN catch up IF THEY WANT TO - and that's the condition you need to put to her, she needs to make sure she keeps up or catches up in order to go.

How long ago did you sit your GCSEs? It's not the same anymore.

Luckyduc · 15/12/2023 14:18

I missed a whole year of school from being in hospital and bslieve me...it didn't hold me back! Still went on to uni and graduated.....I did better than many people who went everyday. If your kid isn't behind then let her go. Three weeks isn't the be all and end all. What people forgot to remember is tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

Mumtryingtolivethedream · 15/12/2023 14:32

Take the holiday life is for living 3 weeks of missing school isn't going to ruin her life. We learn through all stages of our life and can re train and up skill at any age.
Just make it clear to her that you haven't decided yet and she needs to prove to you she can achieve a good attendance between now and the trip and be up to date on all lessons and homework it will give her an incentive to try her best.
The fine will be £60 per parent.
We went away in school time and both my kids passed GCSEs and a levels did well have decent jobs and are fully functioning adults.

Chaosandcarnage · 15/12/2023 14:41

As a GCSE teacher of a core subject, I say take her. She’ll be fine.

Mumtryingtolivethedream · 15/12/2023 14:43

ChillinwiththeVillains · 14/12/2023 21:27

I think the fine is £60 per parent per day. So £600 per week. Which would cost you £1.8k for the trip. Worth checking quite aside from academic and social considerations.

It's not per day it's just £60 per parent per trip so £120 in total

listsandbudgets · 15/12/2023 14:45

Would be a hard no from me - years 10 and 11 are pretty important ones. I think she'd miss too much ground work

Mumtryingtolivethedream · 15/12/2023 14:52

CurlyhairedAssassin · 14/12/2023 22:00

We only live once and she will remember that trip to Florida for a lifetime. Will she remember anything about that 3 weeks of school?

Yes, I'm sure she'll be glad to be remembering Mickey Mouse instead of Shakespeare when she's sitting in the school hall for her exams...

But has learning about Shakespeare actually helped you in your career it hasn't in mine unless you want to teach English Shakespeare is irrelevant.

ilovesushi · 15/12/2023 14:52

No way. I've taken my kids out of school for the odd day or two over the years - theatre trip to London, couple of days holiday that spilled over from official holidays, one day camp for a specialist sport that worked with private school holidays but not state - but I think the timing could not be worse. She will be going into her first GCSE year on the back foot. She will miss all the intro lessons where they lay out the syllabus, the expectations, the necessary resources, new books etc. She is going to come back and everyone has their seat in the classroom and is well into their work. DS is in second year of GCSEs and it is definitely not a time to miss school if you can help it. Gutting I know but she is simply not available at that time.

Firstttimemama · 15/12/2023 14:53

Take the trip, she will remember it forever and a few weeks off school is nothing in comparison to a lifetime of memories

Baffledandalarmed · 15/12/2023 14:54

KimberleyClark · 15/12/2023 12:12

I couldn’t agree more. I was brought up very much in a culture of hard work first, rewards later but it seems it is the other way round now.

Show quote history

Agreed.

It’s all going to end in tears. Even two weeks is a joke tbh. If it was something really incredible like backpacking through Central Asia or Iran then maybe? But a 16 year old at Disney land, really?!

Parents should parent and do what’s best for their child including their future. Florida for two weeks is not that.

Feel really sorry for DD tbh.

Raizin · 15/12/2023 14:56

Let her go. I was off school on a family holiday for a month when I was 14. I passed my exams just fine.

ClareBlue · 15/12/2023 14:57

Is it really a trip of a lifetime

shepherdsangeldelight · 15/12/2023 15:01

saffy2 · 15/12/2023 13:50

My son is about to turn 14 and is in year 9. So how is she about to start in year 11 in sept 2024?
I wouldn’t let him go for either year 10 or year 11 tbh, in his school they’ve started GCSE’s in year 9 for some subjects and I’ve been strict on days off already.

Because she will turn 15 between now and 31st August?

Imagine she was exactly a year older than your son. She'd be 14 now and currently in Year 10.

ClareBlue · 15/12/2023 15:06

Chaosandcarnage · 15/12/2023 14:41

As a GCSE teacher of a core subject, I say take her. She’ll be fine.

You don't know her academic ability, her social skills or general stress levels in education. So to say she will be fine is pretty irresponsible. There's plenty of evidence that missing the start of an educational cycle is the most impact. 3 Weeks at the start of the year is much more than the 3 weeks of learning, missing those weeks can create isolation and real challenges to catch up if they are challenged academically. I surprised that a teacher has this view tbh. It's a trip to Disney, not exploration of the Naple's catacombs.

Parentofeanda · 15/12/2023 15:07

Omg I would let her go. It's 3 weeks. You could wait another 2 years but who knows what will happen within that time.

I'm taking my two to Tokyo next year for 2 weeks and paying the fine.

Mumtryingtolivethedream · 15/12/2023 15:09

whatsappdoc · 15/12/2023 10:50

Interesting that a Disney trip is deemed 'once in a lifetime' whereas really it's school that is once in a lifetime!

You're learning your entire life you actually learn more useful things after you've left.
You can up skill and learn at any age.
Age isn't a barrier anymore my friend went to uni in her 30s to become a social worker what you do at 16 doesn't define your whole working life

Cantbeardarknights · 15/12/2023 15:10

Libra24 · 15/12/2023 14:04

If you are willing to work with her on her return to get her back up to speed, let her go.

Your daughter is more than her academic achievements. Incredible opportunity for her. If it was after Christmas I'd be more conservative but I think it's probably the best time to miss school. Loads of time to catch up.

In what way is a trip to Disney an incredible opportunity? It really isn’t.

AcrossthePond55 · 15/12/2023 15:11

@XMissPlacedX

I'm so glad you've worked out a compromise for her. This will be a trip she will remember for a lifetime, not only in part because you worked to find a way for her to go.

I don't know if it's possible, but when we took our kids out for holidays the school would give us 'packets' for the curriculum during their absence and we'd try to work them in while we were gone. She may not have time to do them on the flight out or during the trip, but it might give her some thing to pass the time for the flight home.

Take it from this Disney fanatic and WDW vet, she is going to have one hell of a great time. But it is HOT and humid and rain isn't unusual in FL in September, so be sure she packs plenty of lightweight shorts and tops (preferably cotton, wicking, or SPF fabric). Also some good water resistant sandals (well broken in ahead of time) and a lightweight rain jacket (unless she's ok with getting wet). A good sunhat, too, if you can get her to wear one. Although she'll probably trade it in for a cute pair of Ears.

Chocolatereindeerrr · 15/12/2023 15:16

I don’t see an issue about catching up. I had really bad concentration issues at school so lost concentration a lot in lessons. May as well have not been there. ‘Caught up’ during revision, got top results in GCSEs

Depends on her personality as to if you think she’s capable of catching up? Those who are saying she absolutely ‘can’t’ catch up are being soft.

Chocolatereindeerrr · 15/12/2023 15:17

What I’m really asking is is she capable of teaching herself the things she missed? If yes, she will be fine

Tina221 · 15/12/2023 15:19

XMissPlacedX · 15/12/2023 12:00

It's all settled now anyway, but Thankyou. DD is going for the first 10 days and then flying home.

I’m glad it’s all sorted now op. It sounds like a wonderful experience for her x

ClareBlue · 15/12/2023 15:20

But without knowing her, those saying she will be absolutely fine are not being reasonable either. Presume OP knows her ability and motivation and is best placed to make a judgement on that. But they have asked for advice so obviously not complete in their feelings on the matter of if it will work for the daughter.

Chocolatereindeerrr · 15/12/2023 15:22

A lot of situations in life aren’t ideal. We miss work or other things due to life happening. If you are tenacious you will always find a way not go “oh well I missed 3 weeks of work due to illness and now I simply cannot function moving forward.” Could be a good lesson for her and something for her to be proud of if she overcomes missing these 3 weeks!