Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

[XMissPlacedX]

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

I would let her go and pay the fine. Kids miss school all the time for no good reason and then the good kids lose out in circumstances like yours.

YABU. Three weeks at a theme park is hardly a “trip of a lifetime.” It’s a holiday, and a pretty tacky one at that.

There’s no educational benefit to going to Disneyland, and missing the first 3 weeks will be disruptive for her AND the rest of the class.

Not to mention the 3xtra work for her teacher.

As well as teaching your daughter that mindless skiving off from responsibilities towards herself and her future is OK.

Therell be plenty of opportunities for her to travel when she’s qualified, earning, doing well because she valued her education.

Disneyland is not a once in a lifetime experience worthy of three weeks off school. It's a hyper-commercialised theme park.

Her aunty can't really afford to go to Disney World either! That's why they are pulling their own child out of school.

"It's cheaper to just pay the fine!"

Of course it is - the fine is only £60. You're not changing electricity provider, this is your child's education.

I’m not sure whether I’m more surprised by the age, the timing or the type of trip. From the title, I expected you to say a much younger child, at the end of summer term (and not to do rides at a theme park, albeit a big one!). Some will say it’s fine of course, thinking back to the chat a few days ago about children staying off on their birthdays.

@Commonsense22 Thankyou so much. I've been on mumsnet for a long time so expected 'those' posters to pop up with their judgment.

I've spoken to DD this morning and she is happy with the arrangement for the 10 days in Disney and then to fly back for school. The posters that suggested this have been tremendously helpful as I'd not thought of that myself so im glad I posted.

Im really happy that she gets to go, I've felt so guilty that I've not been able to take her before and this will be a huge weight off my shoulders, i am so greatfull to her aunt ( although I wish she had asked me before telling dd).

Can you afford the fine and could you afford an after school tutor for a while to help her catch up on what she’s missed? If I could answer yes to both of those things, I’d definitely let her go.

Sorry OP, cross posted. That sounds like a good compromise.

For those suggesting asking for lesson plans:

In some subjects, lesson plans might be that a particular chapter of the book will be covered over the next two lessons.

In many subjects, lesson plans are far more complex. Mine were jotted down full of abbreviations. On the rare occasion I needed someone else to be able to teach from my lesson plan it would take me an extra 5+ minutes for another teacher of the same subject; 10-15 minutes for a teacher of a different subject, and quite possibly 20 minutes for a non-teacher.

So a pupil expecting me to send lesson plans for 3 weeks at GCSE would be an additional 3 hours work for me. Plus I'd have to copy resources including excerpts of recordings, which would take a couple of hours. And then at least an extra 30m once they returned, checking that they had understood and caught up etc.

If you decide to keep her off school, please don't put the burden for her catching up work on the teachers.

@LaDamaDeElche Thankyou. I feel much better now with the compromise agreed.

I’d try and ask to see if it would be possible for her to go when she finishes her GCSEs tbh, if the answer is no, I’d let her go and explain to her she will have alot of work to come back to to catch up.

issue is if she does say in a couple of years time that’s fine, they may end up not going.. finances could change meaning they can’t afford the extra person, someone could come down Ill which means cancelling!

me personally I would let her go, I’d try and ask first to see if there’s any way it could be moved over to the holidays etc but if it’s a definite no, I’d let her go..

she is at the age where she knows if she goes she will need to put the effort in to catch up, as for the people saying “they don’t catch up” they do eventually.. so long as they try and put the hard work in.

im sure if you explain to her that if she goes she will naturally fall behind with school work and that if she goes she will need to catch up with it all when she’s back.. it’s a fair compromise.

would seem a shame for her to miss this opportunity tbh, she’ll be learning things in school granted but she’ll learn so much more by experiencing seeing new places and travelling!!

ring the council and ask how much the fine will be, if she already has good attendance then it shouldn’t be too much.

Definitely not. She has got a lifetime ahead of her in which she can visit Disney in Florida or wherever she wants to go. Three weeks also sounds way too long for that in my view.

She needs to focus on school and GCSEs. One day she may be grateful she achieved well and it gave her options later re further education and jobs (and money for travelling...). Even if 3 weeks off would not affect her (if she is a motivated, focused learner), it is still not a good message to give her that you can just opt out of your responsibilities with no concern for the consequences. I used to tell mine that going to school was their 'job' as a child.

I'd be angry with 'auntie' for suggesting it and getting her excited. But you don't have to go along with other people's poor decision-making. Bet auntie won't be quite so bothered if she doesn't do well at school as you would be.

I would compromise at a week, shes goes with them and flies back after a week

No decent school would consent to giving lesson plans for an unauthorised absence.

Why on earth would you feel guilty about not being able to afford this/bring her? My daughter has been obsessed with wildlife since very young and would love more than anything to go on safari. Unless I fall into money, its not going to happen. I wish I could bring her but I feel zero guilt that I can't. She has a good life, better than the great majority of young people in the world probably and crucially, has the opportunity to work to ensure that she can make this happen for herself when she grows up. That is what is most important, building the capacity for our children to live the lives they want as grownups, not provide for their every desire as children.

No, three weeks is too much especially at the start of GCSE. The catch up would be very painful.

They do; children who miss years due do displacement, war or whatever have been known to “catch up” with their peers and as adults their education level is indistinguishable. I’d let her go but maybe see if she can do some of the missed work over the summer. Life’s too short!

She has the previous 6 weeks to get ahead of the topics and so when she returns she won’t have missed much of the actual knowledge.

If she's going from year 10 to 11, no she doesn't. Certain content is taught in year 10. The next lot of content is taught in year 11. She won't have even started on the year 11 content so she won't have any idea what it entails, especially for subjects like English, history, Art, languages. Before starting year 11 my kids had no clue what would be on the curriculum the first week back.

' Once in a lifetime '

No, it isn't ! she is 14 !!! she has her whole lifetime ahead of her

Yes lots of children want to go to Disney World, many do, many don't.

Maybe she can afford it when she starts her 1st job, or maybe it will take her a couple of years to afford it. Maybe she will choose to holiday elsewhere when she is saving / paying.
Maybe she will take her children one day.

Maybe if it is so important to you and her, that you start saving really hard now, and cut out all extras and she could maybe get a part time Saturday job and save with you and she could go with you when it is afforded / saved up for.

It's a theme park in America, big deal !

When I saw the ' Once in a lifetime ' title i thought it was going to be original / unique / exotic / exciting etc. and there have been some Once in a lifetime places already mentioned.

Nit a theme park.

This.

It's very difficult to take the full range of GCSEs post 16. Only maths and English are offered free in college. A level 2 BTech is considered equivalent to 5 GCSEs but will only be in one subject and won't give the same access to further education as actual GCSEs will.

I was just about to suggest coming back early as an unaccompanied minor, I did that at 13 and loved it, so exciting. :-)

Year 11 moves at such a fast pace, and three weeks off in the first half term is almost half of it. School will very strongly disagree with the choice to take her out for that long.

it will really impact her learning in the build up to sitting her exams, and I’d say will harm her potential outcome.

Definitely not worth it IMHO

Why not take her for a weekend to a theme park here? Maybe no one will be dressed up as Micky Mouse, but I guess she would get over that eventually.

I am laughing out loud at the earnest suggestion that a visit to Disneyland will build cultural capital.