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Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip - 3 weeks off school

935 replies

XMissPlacedX · 14/12/2023 20:27

My daughter has always wanted to go to Disney world Florida, but due to funds I've not been able to afford it. She is 14.

Her aunty who is quite well off and has a daughter the same age (my dd's cousin ) goes to Disney world Florida every 2 years and has offered to take my dd next year for 3 weeks.

The problem is it's the first 3 weeks of the school term ( September 2024). I've asked her if there was anyway of going in the summer holidays and she said it would double their cost and it would be cheaper for them to pay the school fine .

What do I do ? Do I say yes or no ? I would love for my dd to go but am not sure how much the fine would be and what impact missing that amount of school would cause.

I'm really torn

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 15/12/2023 09:31

Where does the OP say that her DD will be in year 11 in September 2024?

At 14 she could be an older year 9 or a younger year 10 at the moment.

TBH I'm surprised that so many posters value a Disney holiday over GCSE education.

I would be interested to hear from posters who teach that age group or older for their views.

DonnaYouAreAStar · 15/12/2023 09:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Cosyblankets · 15/12/2023 09:32

Blue0987 · 15/12/2023 08:48

If it was a real educational trip (art cities it Italy, exploring remote villages in Himalayas, ecology trip in Bali, etc but Disneyworld… ?!?!? No, sorry! (I even doubt that a 14 year old will enjoy Disney world)

3 weeks is still 3 weeks regardless of where you go.
And while i don't doubt the educational benefit of the trips you mention they'll have very little relevance to, say , English or maths gcse.

WenttheDayWell · 15/12/2023 09:33

I’m very against holidays in term time but I think around a week is acceptable here as your DD will never go otherwise. I have been to both Disneyland and Disneyworld and a week is fine.

Tiredalwaystired · 15/12/2023 09:35

Once in a lifetime for you, but not necessarily once in a lifetime for your child. If she does well at school and gets a good job she may well be able to pay for herself in future (and maybe take you too).

taking her out for three weeks in GCSE year is a bad idea. Can the trip not be deferred if they go regularly?

Singleandfab · 15/12/2023 09:35

Why don’t you compromise and have her go for 2 weeks? It’s still a lot of school to miss but not AS much. Her aunty/cousin can then have 1 week together too which is also nice for them.

Honestly I think the first week is always mostly really just getting into routines and understanding the structure of the topics coming up (she’ll have to ensure she is not asking silly questions about these on return as that Will understandably annoy teachers) and the second week’s work will need to be caught up in her time.

Three weeks worth would be hard to catch up and leave her feeling behind from the start of her GCSE courses.

travelallthetime · 15/12/2023 09:38

I think this is a really hard one. Im usually all for taking them out of school, ive always done it with mine right up to year 9, after that, in GCSE years I didnt. You know your daughter best. If she is struggling now then this will set her back. If she isnt then she will be fine. I would send her for the 10 Disney days and get her to fly home as a UM. I think jts the best compromise and there is more to life than these bloody ridiculous exams they sit, a lot of which is testing kids on who has the best memory

InflatableSanta · 15/12/2023 09:43

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 15/12/2023 09:26

There are fairly uneducated parents at my children's school who already know their children own whole properties in their names or are likely to in the near future... Is it any wonder they whip them out for holidays whenever they feel like it.....

You can't own property, as in land or buildings, until you turn 18. It must be held in trust for minors.

Your point about inherited wealth is solid.

Show quote history

Well yes, I know that, I'm a solicitor. But it wasn't about the technicalities of property ownership. The children are the beneficiaries so it is their property.

I mean some of these children already at primary school age already have hundreds of thousands. And their parents are mainly very ordinary, they've just inherited from relatives who owned homes in the SE. I can totally see why they are pretty chill about taking holidays in term time, their children can have entry level jobs and will still be far more comfortably off than most of their straight A peers with professional jobs

Baba197 · 15/12/2023 09:43

I wouldn’t have an issue with her missing 1-2 wks of school but 3 is a lot of school time plus it would be the timing for me, missing 3 wks at start of term is a lot- the settling back in, getting timetables etc. If it was later in the year or just before a school holiday I would do it

MrsMurphyIWish · 15/12/2023 09:44

I'm a secondary teacher and 3 weeks continuous absence is a lot at GCSE. KS3 is annoying but KS4 can really have a massive effect - its not just catching up on one subject, it's all subjects whilst simultaneously trying to absorb new knowledge. At my school Yr 11 and Yr 13 also have exams at the end of Sept. I think its a lot of pressure to put a young person under, let alone her teacher who feel they need to give up time to ensure she can access the curriculum when she returns.

Daisies12 · 15/12/2023 09:45

I think that's inappropriate at that age, and that's not a good enough reason. And DD shouldn't have been told already.

Heidi75 · 15/12/2023 09:47

Year 11 - absolutely not. It's full on and she will miss too much that she is unlikely to be able to catch up as there will be other work once she is back.

She would be very likely to miss crucial content as GCSE courses are now so broad and so much content to learn that it takes pretty much every day right up until the day they sit them.

Commonsense22 · 15/12/2023 09:50

@XMissPlacedX well done on making what I think is a very wise decision and staying polite when faced with all the judgemental posts.

I think your idea of getting her to fly back after the Disney portion of the trip is perfect.

Definitelyrandom · 15/12/2023 09:52

As others have said, Disneyland is not a once in a lifetime trip and certainly not worth missing 3 weeks of school for. It shows a lack of respect for education to contemplate that.

Caththegreat · 15/12/2023 09:52

I thought it was going to be a fantastic trek or a visit to a world heritage site but hey its Disney world.ffs she's missing year 11.are the teachers running around to get her extra work? Expect a fine and don't you dare moan about any teachers.

FMLWTF · 15/12/2023 09:57

No way never. But you clearly want her to go so why ask? You see a free holiday, others see a damaged education. And for Disney as well? It’s just rides. And queues. And terribly food. How is that once in a lifetime? Take her to the Paris one, it’s just as awful and only requires 2 days.

Belles8335 · 15/12/2023 09:58

As an English teacher in a secondary school, teaching GCSE, this would be a nightmare to catch up on. She could miss (for example) 3 poems being taught from the anthology or a huge chunk of one of the other GCSE Lit texts. She could read these on her own, but we discuss/explain/annotate as we read, so she misses that teacher input. This is just one subject too - she’d miss so much content in her other subjects. On the other hand, I’m also a parent, and know what an opportunity this is. So I feel for you.

Weighing it up, if she was in primary/Y7
Y8, I’d say let her go, but not in Y10/11.

Just my advice/opinion ☺️

Bunnyannesummers · 15/12/2023 09:59

Speaking as someone who works in education - let her go. There’s more to life than exam results and this will help her massively in those cultural capital areas so many students lack. Travel is SO valuable.

but obviously let her go with the proviso that she has to work REALLY hard this year, regular revision, attend revision classes etc.

FMLWTF · 15/12/2023 10:00

And she’ll be going into Year 11? The school will be rightly furious and think you are mad. Even for two weeks. Your DD should know better. Mine would hate to miss the first fortnight of a school year and would feel totally unsettled by it.

FMLWTF · 15/12/2023 10:02

There’s more to life than exam results and this will help her massively in those cultural capital areas so many students lack. Travel is SO valuable

And, pray, what cultural capital is to be gained at Disneyland? PMSL. That’s not travel. That’s Thorpe Park in the sun. With worse food.

sugarsherbet · 15/12/2023 10:05

I’d let her go. She will remember it forever. My parents took me out of school for a couple of big holidays and i still did well in my GCSEs she’s got to be prepared to put the extra work in if you let her go.

theleafandnotthetree · 15/12/2023 10:06

BrightLightTonight · 14/12/2023 20:48

Sorry, but going to a massive fun fair is not “once in a life time”. Something like tracking lions in the Serengeti, is “once in a life time”. You need to sort priorities and 3 weeks off school for a roller coaster ride, when it will still be there in 20 years …….

Agree on this. I mean I think 3 weeks is too much in any case but if it were something genuinely once in a lifetime or of significant educational benefit or tied in with a major interest (e.g. safari if someone wants to work in wildlife conservation) then maybe. But 3 weeks in bloody Florida, I mean how could you justify that?

theDudesmummy · 15/12/2023 10:06

Absolutely no way would I let her go, it's ridiculous. I wouldn't any way, but also: for a theme park? Just no.

Sugarsun · 15/12/2023 10:06

Definitelyrandom · 15/12/2023 09:52

As others have said, Disneyland is not a once in a lifetime trip and certainly not worth missing 3 weeks of school for. It shows a lack of respect for education to contemplate that.

Perhaps not on MN, but it is for most people.

There are things that are more important than a couple of weeks at school.

I know of parents who took their DCs out of school for an entire year because they were travelling the world.
Funnily enough they returned and got all 8s and 9s in their GCSEs.

She has the previous 6 weeks to get ahead of the topics and so when she returns she won’t have missed much of the actual knowledge.

Wafflesandcrepes · 15/12/2023 10:07

Three weeks off school? Not in a million years.