£35 present for school birthday party

[Qomolangma]

DS has been invited to a school friend’s 11th birthday day party. For context, we know the family, and bump into them at the park and the children have visited each other's homes. I have purchased something costing £35, but my DH has gotten the hump, saying it’s too expensive.

He thinks £20 is sufficient, and that other parents will expect us to spend a similar amount on their children. I think £35 isn’t too OOO but he has gotten the hump, accusing me of showing off. They are a nice family that we know rather than strangers.

I put in £20 for a good friend at that age and that's considered generous . For a whole class party it would be £10-15. I think a lot of other parents will think you're OTT unless there's a huge drip feed and it's Eton.

I'm with dh

It is a lot

I do £10 whether cash or pressie

OP (a) what have you bought and (b) why did you think that was an acceptable amount to spend?

Exactly the same here!

It'll look like you're being flashy when they open it. Get something cheaper.

I'm with your DH on this one,it is far too much and very show offy. You must have more money than sense.

team DH! nobody spends that sort of money on a school birthday. It's very odd and I have yo say I think I would feel embarrassed to receive it (if it is obviously £££). It looks like showing off as Dh said.

Out of curiosity, why did you feel the need to go overboard?

That's a lovely thing to do OP, it comes from a good place. I was the same last year...overly generous. But I don't do that anymore as people have said, its too much and can make it an awkward situation.

I now spend £10-15 max and feel better for it. Its hard because i'm naturally a very generous person, but save your pennies and spend it on your kids instead/save it!

Honestly, DH is right; it does come across as showing off.

I would feel so uncomfortable if someone spent that on DS. We spend £10-15 depending on how close the friend is. I will be glad when they stop having whole-class birthdays parties.