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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Buying myself Christmas presents

123 replies

Haydenn · 14/12/2023 11:39

Inspired by a thread a few days ago about buying couples presents I realised that as the single in my family I miss so much being treated at Christmas time. Whilst I will by presents for mum and dad, DB &DSIL, DS and DBIL and nieces and nephews I only get three gifts back and have to sit watching whilst they all have stack of gifts- from the grandkids, their children and their partners. It feels so grabby, but I miss the treaty things you wouldn’t normally buy yourself. Anyway despite being a normally frugal person I’ve taken £400 out of my savings and gone a bit crazy buying the perfect stocking fillers and some other treats.
Im starting to feel a bit guilty and like it is just wasteful and bratty. What would you have done in my situation?

OP posts:
Original poster
Haydenn · 14/12/2023 19:13

I’ve loved all of you coming in and sharing what you treat yourselves to. It’s made me feel so much better and I’ve really enjoyed the thoughts that others out there are making sure they have their own happy Christmas. I don’t think I am ever going to doubt that this is the right thing to do again. Thanks to all of you 💐

OP posts:
Sugarsun · 14/12/2023 19:36

I’m a single parent and I’ve always bought myself presents and wrapped them.

I used to pretend they were from Santa, and then just give them to my DD to give to me.
Now she’s older I still wrap them but she knows it wasn’t Santa and I just bought them for myself.

I actually usually buy small, cheap things and then wrap them months in advance and so by the time Xmas comes I’ve forgotten what I’ve bought myself.

It would be nice to get some proper surprises though.

K4tM · 14/12/2023 20:00

It’s just me and my teenage DC at Christmas. They do buy me gifts, and of course I buy them gifts that they want, up to around £200 ish each on them, although I tell them they shouldn’t spend much on me (about £20 is enough because in the end their pocket money comes from me). But I’m thinking of buying myself something this year as well. Why shouldn’t I? I’ll just tell them it came from Santa (and if I tell
myself the same I might actually start to believe it). Why shouldn’t I when I earned the money myself?

LightSpeeds · 14/12/2023 20:01

Blimey, yeah. You've done the right thing!!

Enjoy your treats 😀

familyissues12345 · 14/12/2023 20:03

I always treat myself to something and I haven't been single for many years. Why bloody not?!!

Sophie89j · 14/12/2023 20:06

I have children and a partner and I always buy myself bits for Xmas that they can wrap up 😂 doing a boot shops for smellys for people ‘oh I’d like that, put it in the basket’ etc. don’t feel guilty at all!!!

SomeoneYouLoved · 14/12/2023 20:16

I happily treat myself year in and year out. Not one ounce of guilt.
Enjoy your gifts.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 14/12/2023 20:26

I hear you OP!

I've had nothing for Christmas for years. DD too young to sort anything. Ex has never bothered. Family decided to only buy gifts for under 18s years ago. All good when you have a partner to make sure kids have a gift for you and they buy you a present too! Not so good when you're a single parent.

I just buy myself something. Why not? I use Christmas as an excuse to buy myself something that I wouldn't normally splurge on. I've had some lovely things over the years.

It doesn't quite make up for not getting anything for Christmas but it helps.

Mummyme87 · 14/12/2023 20:28

Sounds fab @Haydenn

im sorry your family all spend so much time opening gifts whilst you watch

Chickenwing2 · 14/12/2023 20:38

Last year I bought myself £100 worth of presents and wrapped them for to open on Christmas Day. It made my Christmas morning more exciting.

hattie43 · 14/12/2023 21:26

Absolutely yes to buying gifts to self . I buy myself anything I want at Christmas and I've got 9 things wrapped under the tree . I do get presents for others but mine are things i definitely want .
Treat yourself and as they say ' no point being the richest person in the graveyard'.

ExplodingPuppies · 14/12/2023 22:17

My husband and I buy our own gifts, then we leave them with the elves and the teen/tween dc wrap them for us! We don't do elf on a shelf anymore, but still plan to do this part!

Luckylu123 · 15/12/2023 00:47

No not bratty, good for you! It’s a bit rough if your family to do that big exchange in front of everyone. Unless you’re all sleeping in the same house, individual families should do their exchanges at their own home and then at the extended family gathering it’s a bit more equal

Luckylu123 · 15/12/2023 00:50

Ugh the more of your replies I’ve read the more annoyed I am at your family. No they shouldn’t be expected to buy aunt and uncle gifts as that is way out of hand. But their parents should be encouraging them make you something homemade as a thank you exchange.

Sugarfree23 · 15/12/2023 00:58

Op when I lived alone I bought myself a new telly for my Christmas! It was an upgrade from the portable that had been in my bedroom at home.

If you can afford to treat your neices and nephews to school trips, you can afford to treat yourself.

While I wouldn't leave zero in the bank or get into debt. Nothing wrong with treating yourself and enjoying your money, as my Dad would say There's nae pockets in a shroud, you can't take it with you so you might as well enjoy it!

mottytotty · 15/12/2023 01:10

Whilst I will by presents for mum and dad, DB &DSIL, DS and DBIL and nieces and nephews I only get three gifts back

Sorry I know off topic but this really annoyed me for you. Why do they each get a present from you but you only get one?

I would just get them one present per couple from now on.

MicrowaveRice · 15/12/2023 01:15

I would buy myself some lovely things, wrap them labelled 'from Father Xmas', put them under the family tree and smile enigmatically when the family wonder who they're from 😄

LaurieStrode · 15/12/2023 01:50

I order stuff throughout the year & chuck it unopened into a box in the garage.

By Dec 25 I have lots of nice gifts and treats to open, and don't really recall what is in them.

mondaytosunday · 15/12/2023 01:56

I buy myself something decent every year. I'm a widow and while my (teen) kids will buy me something they can't afford much vetoing a book or a scarf. So last year it was a bespoke rug for my bedroom, made by a textile artist created just for me. Before that an every other week flower subscription for a year.

SweatpantPotato · 15/12/2023 01:59

Lol, I buy loads of lovely presents and stocking stuffers for everyone, including myself! Of course you should get yourself great presents!

Redskyatwhatever · 15/12/2023 02:12

I’m married and my DH will make me up a stocking and if when I’m buying gifts for other folk and I see a little something that I like I buy it and give it to him to pop in with the bits he has bought me. I’ve even bought a bigger gift this year for him to give me, when Fossil had a good sale on I bought myself a nice bag majorly reduced in price, I’m not even usually a bag devotee any old thing does me normally but I’m so excited to unwrap it at Christmas. I did feel guilty at first as it was way more than I’d usually spend but I shall use it and enjoy it.

Muchamucha · 15/12/2023 06:21

Me and my first long term boyfriend used to really treat each other for birthday Christmas’ and spend around £500 on each other. He brought me great gifts (shoes, clothes, expensive perfume etc) and they were things I’d never brought myself as had always brought myself ‘cheaper’ stuff.
When we broke up I decided that the £500 I used to spend on him twice a year I would still save up & spend on myself so I still got those ‘expensive’ treats twice a year.
Over time this also extended to Valentine’s Day, and I used to treat myself to a takeaway and an expensive bottle of wine!

I did this for the 8 years I was single until I met my DH, and to be honest, he isn’t as great at present buying and I really miss spending the money on myself instead of him!

EtiennePalmiere · 15/12/2023 06:26

Absolutely, when you're doing all that shopping it's hard not to find something you like !

I do think it's a little unusual that you spend a lot on others but not really yourself ? Glad you have you're treats 😁

Lavenderandbrown · 15/12/2023 12:03

I ALWAYS treat myself to self selected gifts. The stores are filled with lovely things and in person shopping is never as good as Christmas time. So far this year I have bought myself a coat shoes Backstreet Boys cd a book of Christmas decorating and earrings. I also pick up randoms at this time of year…kitchen utensils door mat etc if I see and like. I do a “dry Jan- feb” where I simply do not go into stores except for food. I also have a December birthday so treats for both. Enjoy your gifts to self and make this a tradition for yourself.

jumpingbean1810 · 15/12/2023 22:39

I am the same. I buy individual presents for both my parents, my sis, her 4 children, 6 godchildren, and my daughter's half siblings (range from £20-100 per person) so 15 in total . In return I get £100 from my parents into my bank account so nothing to open as such and some slippers or bath stuff from sister. It's not the financial imbalance that matters, but I always feel slightly embarrassed sitting there while they open everything and tend to just leave my presents til the end. I've never really expected anything from my nieces and nephews although they are 17+ so even a card would be nice. I think I'll take a leaf out of your book this year and get some presents for myself!

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