Page 3 | Buying myself Christmas presents

ManateeFair · 14/12/2023 15:23

Oh god, absolutely NOT wasteful or bratty! Sounds like a great idea. More people should follow your example.

I used to have a (well-off) colleague who complimented me once on my perfume. I thanked her and told her what it was, and she said 'I'd love to wear perfume but I'm single so nobody ever buys me any'. I was really astonished that someone with plenty of disposable income would think nice luxuries like perfume or jewellery are things you have to wait for other people to buy for you. YOU ARE ALLOWED NICE THINGS.

LadyBird1973 · 14/12/2023 15:26

It's absolutely right to buy yourself nice things and the fact that you feel bad about it is likely because no one else in your family is valuing you enough.

Your siblings are absolutely shocking in getting you to pay for their children's trips and doing very little to reciprocate and show any appreciation for all you do! I think it's time to reel back on being their personal bank and then you'd not have to be so frugal with yourself.

oakleaffy · 14/12/2023 15:27

Haydenn · 14/12/2023 15:21

You are an absolute legend. I love this

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I did feel a bit guilty- but get so much joy from looking at him all these years later!
Someone wrote once “ It’s never too late to have the childhood you always wanted “

Enjoy your self bought treats- you deserve them 👍

DitheringBlidiot · 14/12/2023 15:29

I would do the same! Enjoy!

PandorasMailbox · 14/12/2023 15:32

Don't feel guilty. You're not hurting anyone and it's your money so enjoy it.

I bought myself a vintage opium pipe for Christmas. Sadly, Ebay doesn't sell the opium to go with it so it'll have to just be an interesting ornament for the time being.

DitheringBlidiot · 14/12/2023 15:32

ItsMyPartyParty · 14/12/2023 12:15

I agree, if the family ask you to fund stuff it’s not on for them to not be at least getting you a token something.

But that’s off track. As long as you’re not putting yourself in a difficult financial position, of course you should get luxuries for yourself! It’s not grabby , it’s your own money.

It's dreadful that they ask you for money but don't get you a Christmas present!

randomstress · 14/12/2023 15:43

I have family who buy me gifts and I still buy myself things. I like fancy face cream and lipstick in particular shades, earrings etc.
I think carefully about others and am happy to also think of myself.

whoamI00 · 14/12/2023 15:46

As a frugal person myself, I'd regret it and wouldn't do it again as I know ultimately the joy will only lasts for a second. However if it makes you feel better then why not. Personally I would regret it.

AdoraBell · 14/12/2023 15:47

If I’ve read this correctly you’ve taken money from your savings to treat yourself? Bloody well done OP I hope you enjoy your treats.

Faceplantagain · 14/12/2023 16:30

Another single person who does this, and for similar reasons! This year I've treated myself to a beauty advent calendar which I'm really enjoying. And for Christmas Day I will give myself a pair of earpods, a few paperbacks and a rather nice print from a local artist. I'm also dithering about some fleece lined birkenstocks, but may wait for the sales for these!

PinkArt · 14/12/2023 16:37

Haydenn · 14/12/2023 15:12

Just for clarity the kids don’t just ask me. They will have already had clearance from their parents to ask the question- I’d never otherwise just give them money for an overseas trip without knowing their parents had already approved the trip.

anyway this seems to have descended into a talk about my family, I wanted more to have the go ahead to buy some nice things for myself- the partner kind of stuff. It seemed a bit decadent to buy things like designer face cream for myself- but it seems lots of you do it which has made me feel much better

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Please make a resolution to put more value on yourself next year OP!

You seem to think it's ok for your niblings to ask for money to pay for their school trips and that for some reason this isn't CF begging because their parents have said it's ok to ask you. And that it's normal that everyone else has loads of presents but barely anyone buys for you, even though you are buying for them.
But you don't think it's ok to buy yourself a nice face cream.

Things like school trips are a parents responsibility, not an aunts. I can't believe that there isn't even a token gift from any of them when you've presumably forked out quite a bit on them/ their kids. That's pretty low behaviour.
Imagine how many more lovely treats you could buy for yourself if you were't bankrolling your siblings. Buy the face cream, buy the candle/ shoes/ ring/ lipstick/ plant/ wine/ chocolate and with every moment you enjoy them, remember your worth.

celticprincess · 14/12/2023 17:40

So when my kids were little I used to buy myself something nice and leave it with a note from the elf to at they had to secretly wrap it and hide it too Christmas and the Santa had sent it. Their dad does buy for non their behalf but often is late with the gifts. My mum like to get me a few bits and when we first separated she too the kids shopping to home bargains to get some little things from them that they had chosen. But totally get why OP would do this.

TheFormidableMrsC · 14/12/2023 17:46

I saved £100 over the year to buy myself some gifts. I do get gifts but these are things that I'd not ask somebody else to buy. Little luxuries that I really enjoy buying for myself as I don't really do it through the year. I think it's fine, I hope you enjoy it all!

Florin · 14/12/2023 17:57

I think it is a brilliant idea and if you can afford it why the hell not. I think a previous poster had a good idea of buying them through the year next year though and wrap as you go so then you get a bit of a surprise too! I have a partner and a child and my partner does buy me pressies normally from a lovely clothes shop where the owner knows me really well and she picks out a few lovely things things she knows would suit me and I would like for my husband to choose from so I do get a nice present. This year hasn’t been an easy year for us as a family and to be quite frank and have had to be the one to hold stuff together and felt I deserved a treat but could do without spending but I suddenly remembered I had one of those vouchers given to me by work last year for Christmas where you can spend them in a range of shops that I and my husband had forgotten about. I have quietly spent it on a really lovely luxury pair of pyjamas something no one would ever think to buy me. It’s the last day of school tomorrow so while our child was at school I have taken some time to wrap them all beautifully with pretty paper and ribbon and written in different handwriting to my own to:Florin love Father Christmas. I literally can’t wait to open them, it’s the first time I have ever bought myself a present and as they say from Father Christmas no one can question where they are from 😂 I keep finding myself day dreaming of opening them and then waiting until other family leave early evening and then putting them on and chilling out in front of the fire and the cheeseboard (extra bonus is they are elasticated waist to fit in all the cheese!)

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 14/12/2023 18:00

Spend your money how you wish, if you can afford to do that!

Thenewmags · 14/12/2023 18:06

StoodySmithereens · 14/12/2023 14:49

You fund their school trips & they get you eff all. I bet the parents put them up to it. I’m glad they’re not my family.

This. Their parents have definitely suggested they ask you! I agree it’s odd they wouldn’t get you a small /homemade gift considering.

I don’t have nieces and nephews but I have close friends with kids. For several years I’d get my childhood friend with 3 kids birthday presents for all her kids and when her kids got mobiles she’d ask me to text her kids happy birthday, but on my birthday didn’t ask them to text me. I of course never received one single gift from any of them including her. Sorry but I no longer buy them gifts lol life is expensive enough for singles!

I did pay for some low cost trips /activities too but at least she came direct to me and asked. I’d have been more annoyed if she put her kids up to it like what’s happening in your family.

ohdamnitjanet · 14/12/2023 18:07

Haydenn · 14/12/2023 11:39

Inspired by a thread a few days ago about buying couples presents I realised that as the single in my family I miss so much being treated at Christmas time. Whilst I will by presents for mum and dad, DB &DSIL, DS and DBIL and nieces and nephews I only get three gifts back and have to sit watching whilst they all have stack of gifts- from the grandkids, their children and their partners. It feels so grabby, but I miss the treaty things you wouldn’t normally buy yourself. Anyway despite being a normally frugal person I’ve taken £400 out of my savings and gone a bit crazy buying the perfect stocking fillers and some other treats.
Im starting to feel a bit guilty and like it is just wasteful and bratty. What would you have done in my situation?

I know exactly how you feel, you aren’t grabby. My sisters club together and buy me something cheap I never want, while I buy them all individual things. They all have extended families whereas it’s just me and my ds. It’s not about getting stuff, it’s about a little bit of empathy. Definitely cut down on your present buying and enjoy treating yourself instead 🤗

Thenewmags · 14/12/2023 18:10

And yeah I went Christmas shopping for (another) friends kids today and got myself some lovely MAC makeup :)

enjoy your presents OP and I agree with pp who said
“ Please make a resolution to put more value on yourself next year OP!”

PeachBlossom1234 · 14/12/2023 18:13

As a single mum with a small child who still believes, she would be very upset if I had nothing to open on Christmas morning so I always buy myself a few things. I always get what I want and little luxuries just for me (molton brown bubble bath, charbonnel et walker chocs….). You’ve done absolutely the right thing and maybe they’ll notice you have better gifts!

meeplesmarples · 14/12/2023 18:20

I did it for myself this year, nobody else is going to get me the exact treats I want and I can afford them, so why not?!

GrumpyPanda · 14/12/2023 18:26

@HarryOHayandBettyOBarley

I would definitely buy yourself extra gifts although I wouldn't wrap them up to open them in front of anyone else. Just enjoy them yourself.

Actually, wrapping them and putting them under the tree is EXACTLY what I'd be doing. Pointedly.

OP I so get you. Putting all that thought and energy into coming up with inspired presents for a host of family members... to get what in return? Well, each and every year DSis comes up with a calendar with kiddie pics that gets assembled online and then printed off as identical copies for grannies, godparents and whoever else needs gifting. Apparently they all think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread and it also conveniently means no quirks of individual personalities even need to be considered.

Oh and just today DM was asking what I'm getting BIL for Christmas. Took great pleasure in explaining to her that I don't recall receiving any presents from BIL like, ever - so why would he expect one from me? He'd a grown-ass adult.

Mew2 · 14/12/2023 18:26

So as a married lady- I have still bought myself some Christmas gifts- and often do.... it ensures that hubby doesn't forget- and I get what I want!! Have bought a couple of different crafting kits this year!!

OhYeahOhYeah · 14/12/2023 18:45

I was always conscious that my (then) single sister, was buying for four of us, so would always make sure her gift/s were of significant value and were a treat to her. Always felt there was an imbalance of fairness otherwise.

They are now a family of three so somewhat more equal but I get your point OP.

Please, go ahead and treat yourself and perhaps drop some significantly unsubtle hints of what you might love to get as a gift running up to next Christmas x

BerfyTigot · 14/12/2023 18:48

Not single, but after 15 + years of doing stockings for husband and kids, I decided to buy some bits for myself. I don't bother wrapping them, but I know that I've got them.

No one else would buy the bits I want. This year I've bought myself some nibbles I like, a tiny jellycat toy, a cashmere beanie (in a sale) and a paperback.

YewandOak · 14/12/2023 19:06

I always buy my own christmas presents,if I don't no one else will! (no sympathy needed)

I do a Amazon wish list throughout the year and treat myself to what I can afford come November/early December.

I figure that I'm worth spending my money on as much as my son or his dad (he buys for our son,too,we split up years ago but still good friends.)