To think this is a case of sour grapes?

[Diaria]

Woman believes that childless women pick up the slack for working Mums….

Reading this, she sounds bitter, sour and traumatised by her prior fertility battle and failed relationship.

She worked in retail; it is of course mental and draining around Christmas time.

Essentially, the argument is that childless women are forgotten and mothers get all these perks along the way like total exhaustion but I digress…

She even goes so far as to complain about mothers having a paid maternity leave (often a pittance) and complains about her having to save £500 a month and not being given a free holiday…… maternity isn’t hopping around Thailand and most mothers couldn’t afford to save £500 a month!!

Anyway, I have no patience for this… but discuss.

I quit because I can't bear picking up the slack for working mums

https://mol.im/a/12860533

I used to follow her on insta - she also constantly swans off on holiday, has meals out, days out etc. She's just talking shite for publicity. Also what's funny is she went back to drinking as well so clearly isn't too hard up.

Iwasafool, you are right it isn't the mothers fault but I have been on the receiving end of bullying, snarky remarks, and expectation/assumption that I should not want Christmas, Easter or any other time of the year off that conflicts with school holidays by these mothers. Even when I asked for days running into the easter weekend when the schools were still open I was told I was being unreasonable!

You are missing the point. Yes many choose not to have children and may have more disposable income. But the ones who haven’t chosen this path and yearn to be parent would swap places with those lucky enough to have a children in a second and wouldn’t think twice about having a bit more free time or a few extra quid. Yes being a parent can be hard, and can be expensive, but that’s what we have chosen and I for one and am grateful to have had that chance and won’t waste my time feeling resentful of those without children.

Such a breath of fresh air to read this. I would absolutely love to swap places with any of the tired parents out there. Thank you for understanding what it is like for the childless.

Having worked in the same industry as this woman, a good manager manages their team and expectations it to be fair.

I agree. Unfortunately I've experienced many managers who are parents themselves and who therefore automatically agree any parental requests for time off. And that's both male and female employees and managers, so nothing to do with working mums.

I think we are all familiar with toxic workplaces that where management have children they then make the call that high-days and holidays go preferentially to those with kids. My first job post uni was like that- if you didn’t have kids you weren’t allowed to take any holiday in August for example.

I think in the majority of cases it is a shit employer issue, but I have also had a mum colleague who management would never rota a Christmas because she’d just go sick and then they’d need to call in cover. Again, could be seen as a shit management issue because they wouldn’t call her out on it

I have children. I've worked in many sectors including retail.

Before I had children I've been rota'd more times than I can count for people with kids. I've also been rota'd for a man who absolutely had to go home to Scotland every Christmas!

In education I find it's always the female parent that takes time off to attend to kids. Where are the male partners? Reply to oft asked question "they earn more"!

This is a single example based on your friends. It doesn't mean it applies to everyone. Which is a point you seem to have missed given the post you made after about how all your childless friends seems to have loads of disposable cash. Again, your friends. Not every person without children. Correlation is not causation.

Or, not being able to have children, she’s making the most of what childfree life has to offer? And why shouldn’t she?

Of course she is and there's nothing wrong with that. But she's acting like she is so badly done to financially while mums are apparently rolling in it in all their maternity pay. She's full of shit.

Your five bottles of wine a week comment is truly disgusting given that the lady in question states she had blocked fallopian tubes and early menopause.

Absolutely vile comment, you should be ashamed of yourself. Get a grip and take responsibility for the choices you made instead of frothing about a childless woman daring to have an opinion. Mother is the default setting, you are not some special breed that requires special treatment.

I don’t agree with what she says about maternity or sick leave, but some of the comments here are absolutely disgusting and completely lacking in the empathy that supposedly only mothers have.

I say this as someone who’s hoping to become a mum myself, but the vitriol/misassumptions towards childless women is awful.

Funny how men don’t complain about it, having the freedom to do what they want career wise and not having to worry about the kids. I mean not all men of course, but overwhelmingly it’s the women who have to pick up the pieces with childcare and sickness, their husbands and partners often don’t. Why isn’t she bashing the dads that don’t do their share or compromise their working lives so that their wives can go to their jobs uninterrupted? Because that wouldn’t fit the misogynistic narrative would it? Her argument is flawed because she chose her job, she chose retail. There are plenty of jobs where you’re not dependant on your coworkers attendance to do well. She sounds bitter and woman hating.

She has a point about expectation, but the other side is that she is the manager. She is clearly saying that if she doesn’t give the time as holidays the mothers will just take the time off sick. Maybe true - but effective management and team work should sort that not just her picking up the hours andgetting stressed.

@MagentaRocks we went through infertility, multiple operations and procedures. Weren’t able to have the desired no. of DC either as one was disabled and risk of it happening again.

Believe me I do understand the pain and struggle.

But motherhood is not a bed of roses either, it is hugely hugely demanding and you change your entire life to accommodate it.

There are advantages and disadvantages to both positions. Though I realise in the bleakest moments it is difficult to see anything but the heartache.

I hope things get better for you if you are struggling 💐

I beg to differ. And so clearly so do others, I am a member of the Facebook group she set up which is mentioned in the article and we’ve had an influx of new members as a result of it.

I feel like we're having two separate conversations here. What's the FB group got to do with it? My point was she is acting as though she is so hard up compared to those with children when it's clearly not true. I don't care or judge how she spends her money.

What does that prove?

That she posted an article attacking other women, to promote her Facebook page and it worked?

Doesn’t mean she isn’t talking shit.

She was the store manager. She wills have worked Boxing Day even if every member of staff didn’t have kids. Because it’s a retail job. That’s why she left. Because she didn’t want to work retail.

But that story wouldn’t have attracted any attention. I think it’s great women who don’t have children have a place they relate to others in a similar situation.

But attracting people by perpetuating the them and us divide, makes you full of shit.

The maternity leave point I don’t agree with as maternity leave isn’t a paid jolly.

The sickness however, I can see how that could be annoying as theoretically primary carer mums take sickness for themselves and their children. Obviously not their fault, but I can see how that would be annoying if it’s the childfree that always end up
covering. Yes it should be better managed but you can’t always predict sickness.

@YaWeeFurryBastard

Before ivf we were advised to drink in moderation (no more than 4 drinks per week), preferably none. During the cycle told definitely none.

That is where my comment came from.

She barely mentions the financial aspect in the article. Have you actually read it?

But you have no idea whether she drank through her ivf or not? All you know is that at some point in her life she was drinking 5 bottles of wine a week. To insinuate she is to blame for her infertility is disgusting. Drinking does not cause fallopian tube blockage or early menopause. Catch yourself on.

This thread has pretty much confirmed why I never bothered making "mummy friends" when DS was little.

Honestly, is the vitriol and woe is me attitude really representative of the hive mind of "mothers" ?

As mothers we CHOSE to have children, we CHOSE to go into it knowing it would be hard, that we'd be tired and would have to make sacrifices with our time and money. We KNEW there was a risk to our careers and pensions (and I'm sorry, but that's also within our control and a choice that most mothers make, children with unexpected additional care needs aside).

To throw those CHOICES back at women without children's as a reason why our lives are somehow "worse" and trying to justify why we should have special treatment is quite frankly, appalling.

👏

Confused by this post. A lot of people on the thread agree with you- how is that justification for you not making any friends?

I'm not saying this to be mean but she doesn't look a decade younger that she is, she looks like many other women I know in their mid 40s - unless she means that drinking alcohol made her look mid 50s?

Anyway good spot on the article, seems like she is a bit of an attention seeker, and has probably made up a lot of the stuff in her more recent article just to cause the kind of bun-fight occurring on this thread, so we all fell for it!