To be put off using childminders because of the ones at toddler group?

[Strawberrypeachlime]

They actually seem like lovely women but they don’t watch the kids at all because they are chatting amongst themselves. Am I being unfair / unreasonable? I get it must be a really tough job but I would just want a bit more.

i have sent both my children to a wonderful childminder who I see as part of the family. I don’t think all childminders are the same. It’s probably quite unreasonable to think that. I have never used a nursery but I wonder what that would be like too. I can’t imagine everyone is perfect all the time, I’m certainly guilty of looking on my phone or talking to my friends at soft play etc

The childminders at our local group just sit in their chairs and let the children get on with it too! It does put me off of using any too. Of course it is healthy to let them have independence, but I keep a close eye on my son and a lot of the time I have to help him with something or teach him to share. I hardly ever get to sit like they do, with the numerous kids they have!

This!! I'm usually the one rescuing my mindees from other kids!
I know exactly where my minded children are and what they're doing. I don't hover around them but I'm there if they need me.
Don't forget that you only see a fraction of their day- I had a mother comment to me that I didn't interact with the children. Told her she was welcome to come to my house and see what we do for the other 8 hours that they're with me!!

I've actually never seen childminders out and about with groups of kids. I've met a few au pairs but they only have the one kid and always seem very nice and attentive. I tend to avoid busy times though and usually go to soft play on a weekday after 3pm after nap time when it's very quiet. We often get the place to ourselves. In fairness, I see very few neglectful parents too, usually people are very nice and friendly and interacting with their children or keeping a close eye from afar while they play independently.

A nanny isn't the same as a childminder for a start. Just like any other job there are some amazing ones and some crap ones. Agree with a PP that you probably notice the rubbish ones more and aren't even always aware of the decent ones. DS' childminder used to have 2 mindees and had a bag for the 2 smaller bags to go in; you wouldn't know she was a childminder if you saw her at a group or whatever I'm sure. Personally we found a decent childminder much better than nursery for our DS, but every family and every child is different. It's a bit sweeping to suggest all childminders are crap though based on the actions of a few.

I don't understand the independence comments coming from defensive posters. Independence doesn't mean observing a child from your arse and only stepping in when there's a problem. It means giving your charges the tools to communicate and interact age appropriately and based on their individual developmental needs so that they can become independent.

The park is across a big area and one child (about 6) was telling me his full address as he had been learning it 😐 no stranger awareness.

That's the parents' fault, though, not the childminder's.

To some people that’s what independence means.

to others - children who are left to sort things out on their own also gain independence quicker. The opposite of the helicopter parents. Not a criticism really, I’m only saying that wouldn’t have suited my 2

The only fault is the supervising adult who should have told him to shush. Whoever it was.

Ha - trying to get rid of kids who latch onto you is a lot easier said than done!

Honestly, this is the case with any kind of childcare: nursery, childminding, nannying. People who are being paid (often not very high amounts) to look after children will not care for them the same way their parents do. And there's little accountability. It is what it is. The same can be said of the nursing homes our own parents will end up in - hell, the nursery homes WE ourselves will end up in!

Of course his parents should have taught him about stranger awareness! That's their job.

Obviously don't judge them unless you are using one of them.

DDs' childminders were amazing and did so much more with them than I would have at home, and didn't look after too many at once. I wasn't happy with all the local nurseries only being "satisfactory", or really with the idea of nursery at all before they were two or three and a pre-school nursery. DDs are 18 and 14 now and still look back on their time with the childminder fondly.

Please don't be put off Childminders OP. When you find the right one, she will be worth her weight in gold I promise you!
I genuinely have the best Childminder who has ever graced the earth. She does absolutely everything for the children in her care, and will always be part of our family.
Keep searching for the right one - she's out there for you somewhere!

I’m not saying written work isn’t of value - it’s of massive value. It’s the building block of literacy. But tech is in built into education now.

Of course your husband learned tech on the go - it has evolved massively in the last twenty, thirty, forty years. But I bet he wasn’t using tech to write the majority of his homework when he was at school.

Tech is now in built to the school curriculum. My high schoolers use their laptops for every bit of homework. Their teachers record their homework on an app. They submit via an app. In fact, my oldest is currently doing GCSE mocks and her biggest challenge has been hand writing three papers in a day today as she hasn’t got the writing stamina we once had - because it isn’t required.

Anyway, that’s a total diversion of this thread! Sorry!

My mum used to be a childminder. When she retired the siblings she minded presented her with a plaque engraved with a poem that mentioned visits to my grandfather in his care home. My grandfather was a paedophile. This put me off using a childminder for my own child red. (who never met my grandfather BTW).

I work in ed so I’m aware. I started my career as an English teacher and have used several platforms to set homework. It’s extremely user friendly and doesn’t take a great deal of skill - certainly not enough for me to be convinced that my child should have an iPad at nursery age anyway. Regarding the lack of stamina, this is a problem and ample practice of extended writing should be built into the curriculum, especially in the humanities and obviously English, though there are also long answers in subjects such as science. Sure, I had to type coursework essays while studying but my scores came from my ability to write well - including with pen and paper in my exams.

My concern about this thread is it overly generalises against people who
a) work extremely hard to look after children in a very important role
b) are one of the only affordable/available forms of childcare for people
c) are underpaid and not given recognition for the amount of work and training required
d) are often women and mothers

I don't think it's wrong to criticise people if your experience of them has been negative but quite honestly I would hold back on making sweeping generalisations about a profession you have little to no experience of except some people at toddler groups. I worry the damage done by tarnishing the 1000s of people who do this invaluable job could be detrimental. I just wished you would acknowledge some of the positive stories to at least show you have somewhat of a balanced view point.

On that note, I took my son out of a nursery to be with a fantastic childminder because he was getting so little one to one attention at the nursery and the staff turn over was horrendous. The CM is amazing and best thing we have done for our little boy. But I won't skate nurseries just because I had a bad experience of one because there are some amazing ones out there too.

@calmandcaffeinated - I’m not sure what you want me to say. I doubt anyone will read this thread and make a different decision about childcare because of it. There are plenty of threads slating nurseries, anyway, and I generally find that childminders tend to be the preferred option on here, definitely for under 2s.

It has been an interesting thread though and has made me think because nearly all the childminders and parents who use childminders have said that this isn’t their experience while lots of others have said it is. No one is ever going to admit that they aren’t a dedicated childminder I suppose! I imagine it’s a hard job, a lonely job and an exhausting one.

@Strawberrypeachlime I agree about CMs themselves, of course they are not going to slate themselves, but to think this won't put people off is always perhaps a tad naive too. Given how little info you had to go by to form your opinion why do you think others wouldn't do the same by just reading a thread on the internet? I appreciate your thoughts but the lack of balance in your replies to those who had positive experiences is what worries me. It's just fuelling the negative bias even further in the thread.

I used to work in a toddler club and thought the same. All the childminders would chat amongst themselves and leave the kids to get on with it or shout a lot at the kids. Good childcarers are few and far between in my opinion

These kind of things can happen in nursery but it’s behind closed doors. Don’t tarnish every child minder with the same brush.

I am a childminder and I always know where my mindees are and what they are up to. Also childminders are only allowed a maxim of 6 children per one adult so perhaps this childminder is not registered. I was also a nanny and was frequently told how well behaved my charges were. And yes it is an extremely hard job!

@calmandcaffeinated I don’t want to be awkward but I really don’t know what you mean. You want me to say there are some good childminders? I’m sure and I’m sure the kids don’t come to any real harm with the ones I know, just the same it isn’t really what I’d want for my own children.