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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Marketplace buyer now wanting money back

110 replies

lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:00

Aibu to refuse to refund?
So I advertised something on marketplace. A lady messaged saying she definitely really wanted it so we organised a time during my lunch break for her to come and view it, which she did.
She said she had wanted one for ages so was really keen to have it.
Asked me if I'd lower the price so I did by a bit, wanting a quick hassle free sale.
She then insisted on paying for it upfront as she didn't want me to sell it to someone else even though it was a large item so she wasn't able to take it then..All sorted.

Then she spent 10 minutes (after paying) second guessing herself wether it was right for her. I gave her several opportunities to have the money back if she didn't feel happy..no pressure at all.
She hummed and hahhed and said ...no I want it so it's fine. I said 'are you absolutely sure because I'll give you the money back now?'
She said ' no I'll take it'.

So it was left with me saying I'd remove all the adverts and let the other people know it had been sold and wait for her to say when she could collect it.
Deleted all the adverts for it and she's just messaged now saying she's changed her mind and wants her money back.

I will more than likely give her money back but I really feel like saying I'm sorry ..you've wasted an hour of my time, you insisted on giving me the money upfront and you said from the first message you really wanted it.
I missed having lunch to meet her. Then I have to arrange to meet her again to refund her...plus redo the advert and wait again for them to be processed and approved.
Would I be being unreasonable to say no? It's yours come and collect it please. Or deduct some of the refund for my wasted time?
Wwyd?

OP posts:
VeniVidiWeeWee · 12/12/2023 23:06

Buyer beware.

Thisilldo · 12/12/2023 23:07

id say:

Hi Idiot who wasted my time

Sorry to hear you’ve changed your mind. Unfortunately as it’s Christmas the money you gave me is didn’t as you stated you definitely wanted it.

Its Christmas and things are tight so you can either wait until the end of jan when I get paid for a refund or you can collect your item and sell it on yourself if you don’t want it.

Love Louxx

This has happened to me. I told them the money was spent and they came and took it away almost straight away

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 12/12/2023 23:07

What's the item? Has she used it now.doesnt need it?

Thisilldo · 12/12/2023 23:08

Spent not didn’t FFS!!!

EvilElsa · 12/12/2023 23:08

I'd say no.
You are not a shop. She can sell on if she wants.

Houseplanter · 12/12/2023 23:09

This happened to me. I told them I didn't consider the item as mine anymore and if it wasn't collected that day I would leave it for them on the front drive ( it was dreadful weather and it was def not waterproof)

They collected it within an hour or two

VeronicasCloset · 12/12/2023 23:15

Just say no. It’s not your item anymore. It’s not her money anymore.

Be firm, polite and brief, then disengage.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 12/12/2023 23:17

Tbh if she knows where you live I'd just give her jt back and move on.

Such a headache.

Find another buyer.

What a pest though.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:20

Thanks for the replies. Its a large metal hay feeder for a horse. She said she definitely wanted it so I said come and see it. She wanted to come at lunch time so I went out of my way to meet her (and miss my lunch break) in-between jobs.
She was insisting she wanted it after viewing, insisted on paying there and then even when I tried to say pay when you collect it.
Then she backtracked abit saying she was worried her horse would get stuck in it...it's designed for horses...
So I said have the money back then and think about it.
No no I want it she said and off she went. I told her I'd take all the adverts down straight away which I did and now she's messaged saying she's changed her mind and wants a refund.
If she hasn't paid and then said after she didn't want it then fine...but 9 hours later?
Taking the proverbial

OP posts:
Original poster
lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:21

@VeniVidiWeeWee what do you mean by 'buyer beware' ?

OP posts:
malmi · 12/12/2023 23:22

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 12/12/2023 23:07

What's the item? Has she used it now.doesnt need it?

She hasn't used it. She never collected it.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:24

@Thisilldo ...that's a very good reply.
Part of me feels tight as I'm normally so nice but I gave her many opportunities at the time to change her mind there and then so part of me thinks ...it's yours..if you now don't want it .you sell it on!

OP posts:
Original poster
lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:26

@justanothermanicmonday1 she doesn't know where I live ..just where the item is.

OP posts:
AnneElliott · 12/12/2023 23:27

I wouldn't refund quickly as you've had all the hassle. I agree I'd put it back for sale and she can have the money back at the end of Jan or if the next buyer pays you - which ever comes first.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:28

@EvilElsa that's just what I was thinking. I'm not sure why I should have to redo the advert and waste more of my time sorting out another sale just because she's changed her mind 9 hours later

OP posts:
Original poster
lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:33

@Houseplanter must be a common thing then!
This is an outside item but would be stolen if left out to be collected. So chances are I'd have to arrange to meet her again to collect the item to make sure it was collected safely.

OP posts:
tachycardigan · 12/12/2023 23:33

I wouldn’t give her her money back. Tell her as it’s Christmas you’ve spent it.

MercanDede · 12/12/2023 23:35

From a legal standpoint you don’t have a leg to stand on.

  • she has the legal right to change her mind prior to taking possession of the item no matter how long that is. 9 hrs is nothing.
  • you have no right to keep her money unless you have it in writing with her signature that she agrees it is a non refundable deposit.
  • she didn’t ask or demand you take down the adverts, that was your decision. You could have legally sold it to someone else and then told her sorry, you never completed the transaction, I have a buyer that is willing to proceed, so here is your money back.
MercanDede · 12/12/2023 23:36

lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:24

@Thisilldo ...that's a very good reply.
Part of me feels tight as I'm normally so nice but I gave her many opportunities at the time to change her mind there and then so part of me thinks ...it's yours..if you now don't want it .you sell it on!

You did a hard sell. The agree now or it is gone. That’s not a nice tactic.

whynotwhatknot · 12/12/2023 23:46

i dont really think 9 hours is that long to change your mind

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:49

@MercanDede it wasn't a hard sell at all.
She said she didn't want to miss the opportunity as she had been wanting the item for a while. I didn't ask for the money as she couldn't take the item ...she insisted on giving me the money even when I said to her to think about it first or pay on collection as I would of preferred that.
Even after she gave me the money I said several times if she wasn't sure she should take the money back.

OP posts:
MeMySonAnd1 · 12/12/2023 23:50

Though luck, just say you offer no refunds and that it will be ready for her to collect straight away. Tell her that if not collected by Sunday evening it will be taken to the tip.

MercanDede · 12/12/2023 23:54

lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:49

@MercanDede it wasn't a hard sell at all.
She said she didn't want to miss the opportunity as she had been wanting the item for a while. I didn't ask for the money as she couldn't take the item ...she insisted on giving me the money even when I said to her to think about it first or pay on collection as I would of preferred that.
Even after she gave me the money I said several times if she wasn't sure she should take the money back.

You were happy enough to take her money even though you could see she was not entirely sure. You didn’t refuse to take her money when you should have. You could have offered to reserve the item for say 24hrs when you saw she was uncertain and second guessing.

MercanDede · 12/12/2023 23:58

Anyway, all the tough shit posters that have done this illegally are quite right in that you can follow suit and get away with it scot free because the average person can’t afford a solicitor’s letter much less small claims court. Doesn’t make it right to do, but if you have similarly a flexible moral code you can certainly tell her tough shit, I’m keeping the money, it’s your problem now come and get it.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 13/12/2023 00:06

@MercanDede id love to know where you are getting this legal information from as you don't even have a right to refund from a store just because you have changed your mind.
I told her I would take down the advert as she hadn't taken the item so it wouldn't be right for me to still be advertising it as for sale.
I surely couldn't of legally sold it to someone else after she had already paid me for the item?
I tried to say to her several times to not pay, to go away and think about it and she INSISTED.
As she was in no position at the time to take the item with her I didn't want to take her money. We stood and discussed it further and I said several times for her to take the money back and she refused.
This was after her seeing several images of the item, viewing the item in person and saying she definitely wanted it. She said of she had been able to take it there and then she would of done.
If she has taken the item and then came back 9 hours later saying she had changed her mind I'd not even entertain the idea of a refund.

OP posts:
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